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Song Parodies -> "Hoarder Line"

Original Song Title:

"Borderline"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Madonna

Parody Song Title:

"Hoarder Line"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

There's something wrong with your compulsive collectability
Your place is filled with clutter which is often embarrassing
Large piles of trash are harsh
How did this all start?
Look at all this stuff lyin' around
Well, honey, it needs to go
Get rid of overflow
Before Health Inspectors come around!

This has gotten out of hand, not using the trash cans
Depression mixed with OCD (ADHD?)

(Chorus)
Hoarder line
Looks like you've gone and lost your mind
You just keep on piling up your stuff
over a real long time

(Repeat Chorus)

This angers your family
Storage surpasses capacity
You just keep on piling up your stuff
over a real long time

Poor sanitation makes it that we can't breathe
Decaying food mixed with rat droppings can cause so many maladies
Messiness abounds, dead format tech is found, in old newspapers and mail you drown
Can't throw anything away, causes you dismay
Burying yourself alive each day

We can understand, IF you make a plan
To rid yourself of this debris!

(Chorus)

Please don't say "maybe"
That would just be lazy
You just keep on piling up your stuff
over a real long time

All this stuff is causing you anxiety
You don't trust people touching your things
You see this everyday, but act as if you are blind
This causes so much pain, makes you look insane
What does it take to make you see?
If I had a match, some kerosene, it would be burnin' time!!!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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LPG-Unit - June 18, 2015 - Report this comment
I feel sorry for hoarders, but their "collections" can be quite disturbing and as such would need some intervention.
Rob Arndt - June 18, 2015 - Report this comment
When my mother died in 2001 her house was like a store and a storage unit! We went through the stuff by decade from 1930s-2001. Fortunately, she was more of a packrat than true hoarder...

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