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Song Parodies -> "Like A Vegan (2010 Rendition)"

Original Song Title:

"Like A Virgin"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Like A Vegan (2010 Rendition)"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Thanks to MasonR for pointing out the error I made by the third line in switching from plural to singular. Dang! I really got to proof-read my stuff better.
An extreme vegetarian
On cows I’ll never chew
Leather vest I tossed because
Cattle died for use

If it tweets
I won’t eat
Chicken’s dead! Served on bread as food
And I won’t eat veal
Cow babies in meals
That makes me spew

Like a Vegan!
Munching on onions with thyme!
Like a Ve-ee-egan!
On this roast beef I can’t dine!

Gonna dig in to this bok choy!
Dead deer from shotgun blasts
My cravings for that subdued
With each carrot juice glass

Grapes are fine off the vine
Sheep live long, yeah, They die when old
Now I’ll go pig out
Yeah, Now I’ll go pig out
On some eggless rolls!

Like a Vegan! (Saved!)
Lunch for me’s berries and limes
Like a Vegan!
My oven heats
Bamboo pie!


Things with spines drew the line
Too much gore! Bacon is a crime!
To hear that pig squeal!
Need a gut of steel!
To still want a bite!

I’m a Vegan! (Yay!)
Sucking down cherries in wine
Like a Vegan!
Keep the receipt
Shrimp’s declined!

I’m a Vegan! (Ooh, Ooh)
Such a Vegan!
PETA fills me with pride
Cause they told me
Butchers kill things
And their nasty


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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   11

User Comments

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TJC - March 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Excellent! And with all those in'jested chlorophylls your countenance may well be on its way to 'Like a Vulcan' to boot!
AFW - March 05, 2010 - Report this comment
The parody is meaty, even if the preference is not
Mark Scotti - March 05, 2010 - Report this comment
I'll still take the burger basket, but point well taken on this "healthy" parody!
Jonathan S. - March 05, 2010 - Report this comment
As the Beatles sang, "Vegans work it out!" 555
John Barry - March 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Lettuce congratulate you on this peas of work. I don't carrot all for most meat, so again I appleaud this pearody.
Matthias - March 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks TJC (Live long and prosper), AFW, Mark (me too buddy... My character loves vegetables but I personally can't stand them), Jonathan (that would be a great parody) and John Barry (some terrible puns you got there)
Tommy The Seaweed-Eating Turtle - March 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Surprise! I'm with JAB, in fact, was a strict vegan for many years, and ran my fastest 5k and 10k races ever (OK, that's not saying very much for a turtle ;), and generally in the best shape of my life. Not sure if the parody was meant to mock, but I'll take it as at face value as a description, and 555 bean burritos.
oh, yeah, I do still eat seaweed. 57 minerals in ocean water -- very good for you.
Phil Nelson - March 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Hilarious parody. Tried to vote on this yesterday but kept getting a 404 error page. Anyway good to see this today. Great stuff! 5's
Matthias - March 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks to Tommy Turtle (It was meant to mock but I'm glad you were able to take something out of it without getting offended), and Phil Nelson (Yeah, I made a few mistakes that I saw yesterday so I resubmitted it for today. Thanks for dropping by!)
Fiddlegirl - March 05, 2010 - Report this comment
You're such a ham...555. (Should we start calling you "Meat"thias?) ;)
Matthias - March 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks Fiddlegirl... I honestly think that's the first pun I've seen anybody ever do with my name!
Matt, Hi, As ... I Was Saying.... - March 05, 2010 - Report this comment
There's the second. :-)

This was much nicer than some rather vicious ones attacking veg's (Should we attack meat-eaters? Various religions? Etc.) --for example, the title, "50 Ways To Pi** Off PETA, I never even read.

The easy question back: If (anyone) had to go kill the cow themselves, skin it, butcher it, etc., would they be as willing to do so? I respect Sarah Palin because the answer is yes: they shoot the moose, skin it, carve it, fill the freezer with it, sustain themselves with it, and don't just hang the head on the wall as a trophy (some contest, huh? Armed human vs. unarmed deer or whatever).

btw, butchers don't kill things. They're usually dead before the butcher gets the carcass . (wink), and the contraction of "they are" is "they're" (wink^2) . cheers!
Matthias - March 05, 2010 - Report this comment
I was never good with the whole "their" "there" and "they're" thing and butchers have been known to kill things... Not most butchers but some butchers I'm sure have killed things before (like farmhand butchers who ship the meat to be sold).
This Is Your Lucky Day!!!!! - March 06, 2010 - Report this comment
TIYLD! - March 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks for the comment; replied there (more writer assistance available, listed in said reply.)

Didn't like the second pun on the name, huh? Don't blame you -- it wasn't all that good. ;-) Cheers.
Matthias - March 07, 2010 - Report this comment
I did enjoy the "Matt, Hi, As" pun too! Thanks!
MHA...IWS - March 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Ann Hammond - March 07, 2010 - Report this comment
he he
Rex - March 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Love the concept, may have to give it a try sometime (Vegans can drink beer, right?). Then again, plants are alive too. Fave line: "eggless rolls".
Matthias - March 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Plants can't look at you when you're killing them so they're fine with us Vegans (Us vegans meaning the character of this parody because I don't carrot all for those vegetables). Beer doesn't come from an animal so drink away!
Agrimorfee - March 13, 2010 - Report this comment
You made your singer beetroot to his principles. Maybe someday you can earn a celery and get some cabbage for your parody writing skills. The rhymes against Madonna's were impeccable.
Christie Marie M - March 14, 2010 - Report this comment
They say "meat is murder"! I "vegan" to fall in love this this vegetated parody! My fave veggies are eggplants due to their antioxidants, tomatoes for their lycopene, and the fact that potatoes (if not fried) prevents stroke. Most of all, it's always important to eat your greens because they lower cholesterol and good for cardiovascular system. The only vegetable I don't like is bittermelon, but I heard that it's good for your body because it's good for the bloodstream, or something like that. OK, enough of hearing most of my health jargon....after working hard on this hard Madonna OS, you can "veg out" with 5's!
Christie Marie M - March 14, 2010 - Report this comment
(Artistry 69) Sorry forgot to add that as my comment.
Agrimorfee - March 15, 2010 - Report this comment
Hey Christie, as long as you posted a don't have to mark "(Artistry)" or "(SOTM)". :)
CMM @ Agri - March 15, 2010 - Report this comment
Yes, Agri! Thanks for telling me that. :)
Syncronos the Carnivore - March 22, 2010 - Report this comment
(Artistry) You go ahead and drink all the carrot juice you want...more meat for me! Love this song though...I'll give you fives as soon as I wipe this rib sauce off my hands...
bobpiecheese - March 25, 2010 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Nice work here, it can be read as either completely serious or tongue-in-cheek (my bet says that the latter was your original intent, don't axe me why). 555 helpings of meatloaf (force-fed, Deadpool style)!
Below Average Dave - March 26, 2010 - Report this comment
This was overall pretty funny, the idea particularly. I liked most of it, and the pacing was spot on. There were a few lines that seemed random, like you mentioned how long sheep live, but no mention as to why that's important or Keep the receipt? Not sure on those two.. .But overall fun idea to this iconic pop song.
Matthias - March 26, 2010 - Report this comment
The sheep live long line was referring to the fact that my Vega-Character wasn't going to eat them... And keep the receipt meant after you bought the shrimp you were just going to have to return them.
Song Spoofs/Parodies - July 15, 2010 - Report this comment
This is among the best Madonna parodies I've ever seen! Great job. I've dabbled in veganism in the past.

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