~

{ Little Timmy }
Well I’ve heard there’s other countries
Where medication’s cheap
Whose surgeon gen’rals even
Let ‘em ‘have at’ cloning sheep
But here we’re all ‘protected’
—stem cells safely locked away—
Hell, even trans-fat in Cat Chow’s™
been axed by the Belt-way-A-AY!

Well I’m loud and proud, an Amer-i-kid
with the spirit of Amway!
Give me cigs that scream “Big Nicotine”
and Vioxx for my pain
'Cause I’d rather ‘bare-back’
it on my own than be saddled the Fed’s way
Put DDT’s back in my cheese—
Pro-test the FDA!

{ Little Flo }
Even airports now are scary—
Damn, we’re scanned from caps to clogs!
And the searching’s cavitary
—nosey heiny-sniffin’ dogs—
And so when forced to travel
from New York to L.A.
To ditch Big Bro’s strip-search I chose
ta’ Big-Wheel™ all the way-A-AY!

{ Both }
Sure we’re loud and proud, we’re Amer-i-kids
And we can’t stand TSA
Nor none of ‘em damn acronyms
—especially PTA—
And we won’t just line up
docile-like, at nap time—that’s so gay
So come on Flo— let’s live ‘Waco’
And skip pre-school to-day-A-AY!

Hell we’re loud and proud, we’re Amer-i-kids
And we’re coming out to ‘play’
Our Pampered™ buns’ll hide our guns
—think Kinder-NRA—
And we won’t just line up
docile-like, at nap time—there’s no way
So come on Flo— we’ll do ‘Waco’
And ditch pre-school to-day-A-AY!

~