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Song Parodies -> "Won't Stop Believin'"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Stop Believin'"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Journey

Parody Song Title:

"Won't Stop Believin'"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Listening to some of the Jan6th committee coverage, the willingness of his supporters (and, it seems, the majority of the GOP) to continue supporting this conman is staggering. Everybody in the room except a drunk Guiliani recognizing that the election had been won fairly by Biden, but Trump's ego won't let him accept that simple fact; or possibly he realized that if he accepted reality, people wouldn't give him the quarter-billion dollars they did to fund a non-existent campaigning organization. Are the people who paid into it angry that they were ripped off? Apparently not, they continue to believe his bullshit.

A few years ago, I asked of Trump's supporters 'what does he have to do to make you think "maybe this person really isn't suited to be president"?', and apparently fraudulently taking $250,000,000 of their money still doesn't turn them against him. So very, very far down that rabbit hole, whatever happens they won't stop believing.
Just a loser pres
Who'd believe a word he says?
Ridin' a far-right train going anywhere
Just a shitty boss
Whose ego can't believe he lost
He took leave of his brain, and no he don't care

A drunkard known as Rudi G
The only person to agree
Saying anything to rile the Right
Witters on and on and on and on

"Proud Boys" waitin'
All around the National Mall
Their hero aiming to incite
Straight, white people
Marchin' to show him devotion
Ninety-nine percent of them white

Sayin' shit he knows cannot be true
Clucking 'bout his cuckoo coup
Sayin' anything to cause a fight
Just one more crime
Some he'll keep, some he'll ditch
Some will have to plead the fifth
His baloney never ends
He goes on and on and on and on

MAGA's marching
Up towards the Capitol
Traitors achin' for a fight
Straight, white people
Causin' some offline commotion
Proven dumb, they're none too bright

Won't stop believing
Those guys he's been deceiving
Straight, white people

Won't stop believing
The con
Straight, white people

Won't stop believing
Those guys from whom he's thieving
Straight, white people
I reckon (nearly) all Trump's votes were illegally spirited into the ballot boxes by invisible Canadian penguins. Prove me wrong.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 1.3
How Funny: 1.3
Overall Rating: 1.3

Total Votes: 113

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   105
 105
 105
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

God Bless You - June 20, 2022 - Report this comment
The main reason is that most people believe their own eyes. For those that got their news from both sides it was/is impossible to believe that this https://cdn.acritica.net/upload/dn_noticia/2020/07/1594383400.jpg lost to this https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2020/09/17/USAT/348eaaf1-d6a7-448a-a2a5-cd85910d5fd4-AP_Election_2020_Biden.jpg
Dinesh D'Souza - June 20, 2022 - Report this comment
I was expecting you to sneak in a line related to the my 2000 Mules. But I guess you've gotten too comfortable in your echo chamber. I wouldn't want to disturb that balance.
mad hatter - June 20, 2022 - Report this comment
good one
Phil Alexander - June 20, 2022 - Report this comment
@"God bless you"... Is that as much as you have? An appeal to incredulity to set against all Trump's advisors (except a drunk Guiliani) telling him he'd lost and there was literally nothing in any of the claims of election fraud. Are you one of the many, many people who contributed to his fraudulent fund, by any chance?
Phil Alexander - June 20, 2022 - Report this comment
Oh, and look: 34 people have visited this page, 52 1-votes. It's *always* the Trump supporters indulging in voter fraud, repeatedly. By that measure, I reckon at least ten million votes he got at the last election were fraudulent. And the pathetic cowards never use their real names, either.
Mail Order President FTW! - June 20, 2022 - Report this comment
Biden clearly won because I got 52 1-votes on my parody might not be the strong argument you think it is. ;-)
Phil Alexander - June 21, 2022 - Report this comment
If that were the entirety of what I was saying, you might have a point. But seeing as there is obviously a comprehension fail, allow me to elucidate (please ask if you need me to explain any of the longer words, such as "democracy")

★ Biden won because he polled many millions more votes, which even with your anachronistic antidemocratic electoral college carried more than enough states to win convincingly.

★ Trump's ego won't let him accept defeat, so he made up lots of utter rubbish, and repeated any bizarre theory that made him seem less of the loser he so evidently is. This included many assertions of voter fraud.

★ All evidence of voter fraud so far has been Trump's supporters voting multiple times. How many have been convicted?

★ And so we get to amiright, where again we have evidence that a small group (possibly only one person, they're too cowardly to post without a pseudonym so without access to the IIS logs, there's no way of knowing whether it's just one very sad individual or a handful) regularly indulge in fraudulent voting. It has been going on for years, must be tens of thousands of votes cast. On amiright. Where the stakes are not so much "not high" as "non-existent". If someone cares so much as to behave like this on a parody website, how many times do they try and vote in actual elections? And it is only one side doing this.

Maybe you'd like to explain how Trump actually won, without coming across as an even bigger idiot than Trump himself.
Arch Vile - June 21, 2022 - Report this comment
Triggered much, Phil?
Phil Alexander - June 22, 2022 - Report this comment
"Triggered"? Well, this sort of brainless idiocy does irk me a trifle. But that's exactly the sort of response I'd expect: unthinking, trying to wind up rather than provide any explanation or clarity.

You know, I reckon Trump's supporters subconsciously know that they've been taken in by a lying conman; they know that he's guilty of fraud (against them as well as many others), sedition, conspiracy and (depending on ones definition, possibly not the legal one) treason. But they've invested so much of their identity in him that they (like their hero) are unable to admit they're wrong, hence the mindless lashing out at anyone who even has the potential to damage that armour of unwillingness to recognize reality.
Michael Pacholek - June 24, 2022 - Report this comment
They may realize they were wrong, but they will never accept it.
Treasonous Unelected Illegal White House Occupant Biden, 2020 - June 26, 2022 - Report this comment
"We have put together—I think—the most extensive—and inclusive—voter fraud organization in the history of American politics."
Shorter Phil Alexander BS: - June 26, 2022 - Report this comment
"If my fellow election-theft-supporting suckers of Biden's rectum didn't report it, it didn't happen!"
Phil Alexander - June 28, 2022 - Report this comment
"If my fellow election-theft-supporting suckers of Biden's rectum didn't report it, it didn't happen!"

Thing is, *everybody* in Trump's Oval Office except a drunk Giuliani was telling him that no fraud had occurred. Giuliani was saying "we don't have evidence yet, we'll find some", yet never did. Most of the people saying there was no fraud in places like Georgia were Republicans, not Biden supporters. Just people who thought that the rule of law was more important than letting a narcissist baby have another four years.

I notice "Arch Vile" hasn't inquired as to whether those people who have drooled inarticulately over the page were feeling triggered. Funny, that.
Shorter Phil Alexander BS: - July 04, 2022 - Report this comment
"If I keep mindlessly repeating the same long-debunked lying narrative my fellow election-theft-supporting suckers of Biden's rectum fed to me, that makes it what really happened!"
A few lies Phil Alexander has repeated: - July 04, 2022 - Report this comment
If you like your insurance, you can keep your insurance.
If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor.
Islam is a religion of peace.
Illegal immigrants aren't criminals.
The only way to end racism and sexism is to kill all the white males.
Venezuela is a socialist paradise.
Venezuela was never actually a socialist country.
The Benghazi incident happened because of documentary video on YouTube.
Hillary Clinton was a competent and patriotic Secretary of State.
Cuba has one of the world's finest health care systems.
The UK's NHS is one of the world's finest health care systems.
Diversity is our strength.
Al Gore won the 2000 election; George W. Bush stole it.
John Kerry won the 2004 election; George W. Bush stole it too.
Russians hacked the 2016 election; Clinton actually won it, but Trump stole it.
Dan Rather's National Guard documents came from a typewriter, not MS Word.
Dan Rather's National Guard documents were fake, but accurate.
Snowfall will soon be a thing of the past.
Global cooling is going to kill us all.
Global warming is going to kill us all.
Billions will starve to death by the year 2000.
Bill Nye is a scientist.
Sexuality is fixed at birth, but gender is fluid and non-binary.
The Tea Party is racist and violent.
Antifa is non-racist and non-violent.
Antifa is AGAINST fascism, not for it.
BLM is non-racist and non-violent
BLM is AGAINST racism, not for it.
To prevent racism and violence, police need to stand down and allow Antifa and BLM terror— er, MILITANTS to beat up Trump supporters.
Republicans are the party of the rich and privileged.
Democrats are the party of the working poor.
Sexism is to blame for Hillary Clinton's loss.
Sarah Palin deserves to be raped.
Anything a Democrat does is not a crime, but if a Republican does it, it's a crime for which he should be impeached.
The Steele Dossier is a genuine historical document.
America is supposed to be a democracy, not a representative republic.
Millions and millions of Biden "votes" turning up at 4 A.M. in Democrat-run precincts the day AFTER the election are totally not proof of election fraud.
Poll watchers being illegally evicted from voting sites and prevented from watching the "recounts" is totally not proof of election fraud.
Approximately 103% (155 million) of the USA's ~150 million eligible voters turned out to vote in the 2020 elections.
"*Everybody* in Trump's Oval Office except a drunk Giuliani was telling him that no fraud had occurred." That's what all MY far-left Biden-rectum-sucking Trump-hating prop— er, NEWS sources told me, so it MUST be true.
Only Trump's supporters committed any fraud in this election. That's what all MY far-left Biden-rectum-sucking Trump-hating prop— er, NEWS sources told me, so it MUST be true.
"Most of the people saying there was no fraud in places like Georgia were Republicans, not Biden supporters." That's what all MY far-left Biden-rectum-sucking Trump-hating prop— er, NEWS sources told me, so it MUST be true.
Censoring and de-platforming people who offer video evidence of election fraud and suing to shut down all state-run audits is TOTALLY the behavior of a legitimately elected government.
Judges not even ALLOWING plaintiffs to present their evidence of massive election fraud in court are proof that no such fraud occurred.
Europe (and particularly my beloved U.K.) is much freer and fairer and better off and morally superior in every way to America, and you yanks should adopt OUR political systems that your ancestors desperately fled from our continent to yours to escape.
We America-hating suckers of Biden's rectum are the ones living in reality; it's YOU America-loving Trump voters who don't believe Biden was at all legitimately elected who are dwelling in delusion.
I am TOTALLY not projecting.
Phil Alexander - July 05, 2022 - Report this comment
You are not so much projecting as outright lying, asserting I have said things I haven't. Given that you show no regard for truth, proof or reality, I have no desire or motivation to answer any of the absurdities you wibble on about.
CML - July 05, 2022 - Report this comment
We should all agree to put this thread to rest for two reasons. Its not good for the health of the website, which aint too healthy at the moment. 2) Whether you agree with him or not, (I dont) you will not get the last word with Phil. For one thing, he is a stand up comedian who must be adept at carving out new O-rings on persons who are disprupting his act. And, linguistically speaking he's the equivalent of a nuclear powered Energizer Bunny. He can keep this thread going for 200 comments, if necessary. And C) the fate of the American Republic does not hinge on successfully "owning" Phil
Libby - July 06, 2022 - Report this comment
Best thing you ever said CML.
two wings - July 07, 2022 - Report this comment
I know I'm resting from the site because I have writers block, but I didn't think it would get this bad
Phil Alexander - July 11, 2022 - Report this comment
@CML - oddly in over ten years, I have never needed to use put-downs on hecklers. I have had very few, the only one who really had a go left it until after I had left the stage, he was also the sort of coward who makes up a newly-deceased daughter to protect himself against any verbal backlash. I'd say the fate of the American Republic is more likely to hinge on people believing this sort of rubbish:

"Approximately 103% (155 million) of the USA's ~150 million eligible voters turned out to vote in the 2020 elections."

..which is, let's face it, utterly laughable. As is thinking that what people who served under Trump are saying under oath can be dismissed as from "far left news sources". It's kind of telling that all those who might be in a position to refute those sorts of statements are unwilling to do so under oath.

People who think Trump didn't incite and celebrate the violence on Jan 6th are a bit like those in the UK at the moment (and there are many) who think that Boris Johnson was ousted unfairly after a "msm witch hunt". Those who, even in the face of completely convincing evidence, won't stop believing.
George&GermaineBriantFan - July 22, 2022 - Report this comment
I was dreaming of the 1951 episode of “Beat the Clock” featuring 300 Boy Scouts during the events of January 6th!

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