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Song Parodies -> "(Moggie) Air Stealer"

Original Song Title:

"Maneater"

Original Performer:

Hall & Oates

Parody Song Title:

"(Moggie) Air Stealer"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Another myth about jealous felines that suffocate newborn babies or suck the air from their lungs. There ARE historically documented cases of doctors and mothers testifying that they witnessed a cat sucking air from an infant, but most of these were from the 13th century through the 18th century when the myth was well established. SIDS is more likely 99.9% of the time. If a cat sits on a baby's face and smothers, that is a different story...
The cat will come out at night
To kill the little tyke
Crib in view
Then a leap up from the floor
Paws separating
Lips, nose pressed mouth into
Takes O2 (baby's blue) then back to the floor...

This feline jealousy
Makes you think
All cats hate babies
The rumors are wild
A housecat blamed
For the death of a newborn
Maybe was smothered
It's hard to prove
When this myth has gone too far...

(Chorus)
(Oh-oh, here it comes)
Wake up infant
Your time is up
(Oh-oh, here it comes)
It's an air stealer
(Oh-oh, here it comes)
Wake up infant
Feline is tough
(Oh-oh, here it comes)
It's an air stealer

Parents shouldn't leave the room
Keep the baby in view
Forget the cat
Shut the door or station by a mutt*
That little life matters
Ooh, the cat doesn't care
Attention it seeks and the baby it can't ignore

(Chorus)

[Prowling cat of swinging mood]

Ooooooooh
(Oh-oh, here it comes)
Here it comes
Wake up infant
Your life she'll snuff
(Whoa-oh, here it comes)
(Watch out) it's an air stealer
(Oh-oh, here it comes)
(It's an air stealer)
Ooh, that cat is tough
(Oh-oh, here it comes)
Here it comes, it's an air stealer
(Oh-oh, here it comes)
(Lights out)
The cat will come out at night, ooh-oh
(Oh-oh, here it comes)
Here it comes
It's an air stealer
(Oh-oh, here it comes)
(It's an air stealer)
Protect your child
(Oh-oh, here it comes)
Here it comes
Bundle of joy, bundle of joy
(Oh-oh, here it comes)
Oh, watch out, watch out
Put the cat out, cat out
(Oh-oh, here it comes)
(Yeah, yeah) it's an air stealer
(Oh-oh, here it comes)
(It's an air stealer)
It's cold, calculating, ooh-oh
(Oh-oh, here it comes)
Oh, it's a death dealer...
* the counter claim is that introducing a newborn to the family dog will enable it to guard the baby. In my case that was true. My German Shepherd Sheba would not allow strangers nor other animals near me or my crib. Very overprotective. It attacked a robber breaking into our house near my crib.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

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User Comments

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Jonathan - February 29, 2016 - Report this comment
Air Stealer? what a coincidence why... that's what I call Sam Hunt! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oShTJ90fC34 5's but seriously that's pretty amazing about your dog attacking that robber! dogs are very loving and protective creatures not to mention the cutest! I'm a dog person in case you couldn't tell!
Rob Arndt - February 29, 2016 - Report this comment
Jon, I did a parody about Sheeba (Sheba) some time ago: http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/monkees41.shtml

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