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Song Parodies -> "Manspreader"

Original Song Title:

"Maneater"

Original Performer:

Hall & Oates

Parody Song Title:

"Manspreader"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Manspreading is a subway term used in NYC which describes guys who deliberately spread their legs in a V outstretched into the aisle with croth exposed to deny passengers seats. A typical Manspreader takes 2 seats but sometimes even 3!!! They do this especially when women are present and so there are many complaints.
It's such an ugly sight
The lazy bad boy types
That act so crude
When a subway seat they score
Slouching and spreading
Gross, such an obscene view
V-spread into the aisle floor

It's something riders hate to see
Subway jerk
Takin' up 2-3 seats
Vulgar, no style
A scumbag slouchin'
While folks stand by the door
Dude's got no manners
One seat is enough
But the bastard's gotta take 2 more

(Oh-no, here he comes)
Crotch out boy
Takes three seats up
(Oh-no, here he comes)
He's a manspreader
(Oh-no, here he comes)
Crotch out boy
Takes three seats up
(Oh-no, here he comes)
He's a manspreader

In that position glued
Starts a subway feud
His legs are splayed
With crotch displayed, annoys the other lot
Slovenly manner
Gross, ugly, and unfair
This rude practice has got to stop

(Oh-no, here he comes)
Crotch out boy
Takes three seats up
(Oh-no, here he comes)
He's a manspreader
(Oh-no, here he comes)
Crotch out boy
Takes three seats up
(Oh-no, here he comes)
He's a manspreader

[Instrumental Interlude]

Groooooss!
(Oh-no, here he comes)
Here he comes
Crotch out boy
Takes three seats up
(Whoa-oh, here he comes)
(Watch out) he's a manspreader
(Oh-no, here he comes)
(He's a manspreader)
Yeah, takes three seats up
(Oh-no, here he comes)
Here he comes, he's a manspreader
(Oh-no, here he comes)
(Crotch out)
It's such an ugly sight, uh-huh
(Oh-no, here he comes)
Here he comes
He's a manspreader
(Oh-no, here he comes)
(He's a manspreader)
One seat is enough, Yo!!!
(Oh-no, here he comes)
Here he comes
Crotch out boy, really annoys
(Oh-no, here he comes)
His crotch out, crotch out
Crotch out, crotch out
(Oh-no, here he comes)
(Yeah, yeah) he's a manspreader
(Oh-no, here he comes)
(He's a manspreader)
He's slouching and spreading,Yo! Yo!
(Oh-no, here he comes)
Damn, he's a manspreader

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   10
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User Comments

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Jonathan - December 22, 2014 - Report this comment
this is actually cleaner than I thought it was going to be... sort of... 5's!
Timmy1000 - December 22, 2014 - Report this comment
I guess you've "exposed" a big problem here. Maybe, they could use a good swift kick in the . . .
Rob Arndt - December 22, 2014 - Report this comment
Thanks Jon and Timmy. I read about this in my local paper. The pics were disgusting.

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