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Song Parodies -> "Saltpeter"

Original Song Title:

"Maneater"

Original Performer:

Hall & Oates

Parody Song Title:

"Saltpeter"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The myth persists...
Old Potassium Nitrate
Known as KNO3
White, odorless
A crystalline structure
Military training
Chow time, in the food
Yeah, the "Green eggs" are abhored!!!

Induced impotency
Yeah, that sucks
Anaphrodisiac feeds
The libido is down
Edible doctoring
Leaves a psychological scar
In barracks shattered
If you're into "self-love"
You won't be getting too far!!!

(Chorus)
(Oh no, I can't c-m)
Watch out boys
The chow's messed up
(Oh no, I can't c-m)
It's the saltpeter!
(Oh no, I can't c-m)
Watch out boys
The chow's messed up
(Oh no, I can't c-m)
It's the saltpeter!

Yeah, there's nothing that you can do
With institutionalized food
It's inhuman
In BMT it's such a vital part
Desire is shattered
Oh, don't give in to despair
Basic's not long and the libido WILL restart

(Chorus)

Instrumental Interlude

Oooooooh
(Oh no, I can't c-m)
I can't c-m
Watch out boys
The chow's messed up
(No blood flow, I cant c-m)
(Watch out) It's the saltpeter!
(Oh no, I cant c-m)
(It's the saltpeter)
Yeah, the chow's messed up
(Oh no, I can't c-m)
I can't c-m, it's the saltpeter!
(Oh no, I can't c-m)
(Watch out)
Old Potassium Nitrate-yikes!
(Oh no, I cant c-m)
I cant c-m
It's the saltpeter!
(Oh no, I can't c-m)
(It's the saltpeter!)
The libido is down
(Oh no, I can't c-m )
I can't c-m
Watch out boys, watch out boys
(Oh no, I cant c-m)
Oh, watch out, watch out
Watch out, watch out
(Oh no, I cant c-m)
(Sad, sad) It's the saltpeter!
(Oh no, I can't c-m)
(It's the saltpeter!)
No masturbating, oh no!
(Oh no, I can't c-m)
Yeah, it's the saltpeter!!!

Grooooooan!!!



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   1
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   7
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User Comments

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Funster - September 24, 2014 - Report this comment
Dr. Seuss must have not served in the military as I've never seen the Saltpeter and Ham title!
Patrick - September 24, 2014 - Report this comment
I used to see the stuff for sale in drug stores for use as diuretic for farm animals. It is also sold as stump remover. Hard to get in many places now because it is a prime ingredient in homemade gunpowder and rocket fuel. See youtube for some impressive looking rocket videos. But as for inhibiting sexual desire, not likely. Saltpeter (Potassium Nitrate) is chemically nearly identical to Sodium Nitrate, a major ingredient in smoked and processed meat products. I'm sure the armed forces served a lot of that to the troops. Don't think it had any effect on the libido. Blood pressure and coronary disease, maybe.
Jonathan - September 26, 2014 - Report this comment
oh cum now... 5's

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