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Song Parodies -> "Big Gulp Legislation"

Original Song Title:

"Adult Education"

Original Performer:

Hall & Oates

Parody Song Title:

"Big Gulp Legislation"

Parody Written by:

Porfle Popnecker

The Lyrics

Got the word, Mayor Bloomberg
Is about to let it go
And the lock will clink
On the drink you want today

You been gulping 'em down with a cake round
And a bacon Hot-to-Go
There's a fried pie that'll go
Down the same way

In the cup the foam that's risin' so high
Doesn't reach the top
Cause it's only 16-ounce
Not thirty-two, ahh

And the Big Gulps and the Big Slurps
Are gonna get the chop
The sugar you want from one
Have to buy two

And that's why
The nanny state is gonna cause desperation
(Oh yeah, oh yeah)
What we got is Big Gulp legislation

Start to drool from overt dehydration
(Oh yeah, oh yeah)
What we got is a Big Gulp legislation

The mayor don't know about what appeals
To the human body (huh, huh)
While the soda fountain is spoutin'
Mountain Dew, ahh

Busybodies think
About what you drink
And they're frettin' about it (huh, huh)
Whatever you get from one
Better try two

That's right
The human body needs its sugar elation
(Oh yeah, oh yeah)
What it don't is Big Gulp legislation

You may act the fool from the sweet deprivation
(Oh yeah, oh yeah)
What we got is a Big Gulp legislation

They're callin' it health awareness
You're saying that you couldn't care less
Sixteen is an inadequate number
Just a fizz, not a soda ender

So you got a little diet serving
Any more, you're not deserving
But you want a little refill
Even though it's gonna show up on ya

Enjoy your pitiful allowance
Trying to limitate your ounces
Partaking in the paltry splendor
With memories of sugar benders

The tubby with the cup of fizz
I wonder what the tubby's wish is
That he could have a Jumbo Slushee
That he could shove it up the mayor's tushy

Big Gulp legislation
Sugar dehydration
Big Gulp legislation
It's a sweet deprivation
Big Gulp legislation

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   11

User Comments

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Brock O'Brahma - June 14, 2012 - Report this comment
This parody builds to a hilarious ending, "sugar benders", "Jumbo Slushy"'-"up the mayors tushy". Will N.Y. have speakeasies again where a guy can get a 32 ouncer? You deserve a 555 oz. Godzilla Gulp for this one!
Andria - June 14, 2012 - Report this comment
The issue doesn't matter to me since I only drink diet (I hate how sugared drinks are so blatantly, mouth-coatingly SWEET and draw ants, the nutrition factor doesn't matter at all, neither does my health IMHO), except that it is a ridiculous nanny policy. Great work, and 5s.
Rob Arndt - June 14, 2012 - Report this comment
I remember when the 32oz Big Gulp came out in the '80s and then moved up progressively. I never thought they would get past a 44oz, but the Double Gulp is 64oz- half a gallon!!! What's next? The Linda Lovelace Ultimate Gulp ;-D 555!!!
Porfle Popnecker - June 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks for the nice comments!
Jeff Reuben - July 23, 2012 - Report this comment
This event was just asking for a parody. Nice turnaround time getting it done. I liked this quite a bit.
Porfle Popnecker - July 23, 2012 - Report this comment
64-oz. thanks!
Meriadoc - July 23, 2012 - Report this comment
For some reason I want to sing the words Big Gulp Legislation to the tune of Groovy Situation...
Porfle Popnecker - July 23, 2012 - Report this comment
You can also sing it to the tune of Happy Birthday to You.
Matthias - July 24, 2012 - Report this comment
I haven't heard about this event... So I was a little bit lost on the parody but overall it was just fun to read about Big Gulps and Speedway and Soda!
Porfle Popnecker - July 24, 2012 - Report this comment
Glad you liked it!
Blaydeman - July 29, 2012 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I am also unfamiliar with this topic so it took me a while to catch on, but I enjoyed what I understood and I loved your rhyming.
Porfle Popnecker - July 30, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks! I don't do topical stuff very often but this story seemed to be begging for it.
bobpiecheese - July 31, 2012 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Wait, this was based on a thing that really happened? I thought it was about some fictional banning of really tasty things, like the British book Bootleg. Oh well, either way this parody was still a great read. 555!
Arwen - July 31, 2012 - Report this comment
SOTM...a great job on a topic that I could go on and on and ON about...but you don't want me to. Nice work... :)
GLen S - July 31, 2012 - Report this comment
Nice work to a really uneven song. Especially liked your sub with 'Mountain Dew'. Never seen a parody to this topic before either, so double points.
Porfle Popnecker - July 31, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks, I appreciate the comments!
Abbott Skelding - August 01, 2012 - Report this comment
Big Gulps huh? .... Well, see ya! haha. Never heard the OS, but you did a nice job with the sub (even if "big gulp" is a little awkward to squeeze into the spaced "adult" takes up), still a nice job! 555 ounces for you!

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