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Song Parodies -> "Bad With A Drone"

Original Song Title:

"Bad To The Bone"

Parody Song Title:

"Bad With A Drone"

Parody Written by:

Chris Caillouet

The Lyrics

Be the first on your block to…oops, too late. TOS on YouTube
Now Christmas day, early morn’
I raced on down to the tree
And proceeded to test-fly
The new toy left for me
My poor mom woke up
What she saw made her moan
She could tell right away
That I’d be bad with a drone

Bad with a drone
Bad with a drone
B-B-B-B-Bad
B-B-B-B-Bad
B-B-B-B-Bad
Bad with a drone

I brought the chandelier
Right down with a crash
I buzzed our hapless hound, Beauford
And scattered the trash
I used it to spy on the neighbors
Watched them “play trombone”
And now it’s up on YouTube
Cuz I’m bad with a drone

Bad with a drone
B-B-B-B-Bad
B-B-B-B-Bad
B-B-B-B-Bad
Bad with a drone

[Instrumental interlude #1 (short). Visions of consumer drone mishaps should dance in your head.]

I crashed it into a bus
And I flew it up near a plane
I shot an eagle and chicks
Aerie footage is insane
I’m gonna fly over a nude beach
Filming flesh and bone
I’m like a mad bag-piper
Cuz I’m bad with a drone

B-B-B-B-Bad
B-B-B-B-Bad
B-B-B-B-Bad
Bad with a drone

[Instrumental interlude #2 (long). Insert montage of dozens of drone disaster clips from YouTube here.]

And when he bombs the streets*
Of the lands in the East
For each foe he defeats
Fifty** friends, too: deceased
Oh yeah the boy’s batting a thousand
Look at all the strikes he’s flown
And all the dead civilians
Barry’s bad with a drone

Bad with a drone
B-B-B-B-Bad
B-B-B-B-Bad
B-B-B-B-Bad
Bad with a drone

* Contrary to all appearances of the final verse, this wasn’t intended as a political piece (nor am I an Obama hater). It began as musings about some of the practical (mis)applications of consumer drones as they grow in popularity and ubiquity, but I simply didn’t have the willpower to pass up a helping of the drone parody fodder laid out so enticingly at the White House buffet. I feel it works here as another example of UAV technology used badly, although I wonder if the transition from one crazy guy with a drone to another might seem abrupt and confusing.

** This is, of course, a tremendous exaggeration. Numbers published here, fwiw, suggest that civilian and children casualties could make up half or more than the total killed by U.S. drone strikes in some areas, if my maths aren’t completely off. Not fifty to one by a long shot, but definitely shameful nonetheless, so grant a guy a little hyperbole!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   9
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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - December 29, 2015 - Report this comment
First off, UAVs are unarmed as Predator was as RQ-1. But once armed, it became MQ-1 and with jet engine morphed into the MQ-8 Reaper, both of which are UCAVs (Unmanned Combat Aerial Vehicles). It was claimed early on that the "Nintendo Jockeys" could surgically strike with 80% precision and 20% collateral damage. Five years in military studies reversed that with 20% precision, 80% collateral damage which has helped fuel ISIS more than Western Imperialism ideology (aka Crusader PT.2). FWIW, the military has tried to improve effectiveness of UCAVs by striking in open areas when possible but still for every senior Operative of Al Qaida and ISIS, dozens of innocents die. UCAVs are also vulnerable to fighters. The MiG-31 in Syria and the Flankers can take them out, so can gun platforms with millimetric radars at low altitudes. Your parody covers a private civil unarmed drone at first, then switched to UCAVs. ??? 555, but I am addressing your latter part and comments. The eagle and chick line is also inaccurate. Toys don't come armed with anything to shoot with.
Chris Caillouet - December 29, 2015 - Report this comment
First off: Weren't you just chiding me for sullying one of your comment streams with worthless drivel? Back atcha. Come back if you ever manage to develop a sense of humor.

2nd: UAV stands for Unmanned (not Unarmed) Aerial Vehicle -- it's a very broad term (kinda like UFO, which encompasses far more than "extraterrestrial spacecraft") that covers a wide array of types of aircraft, remotely piloted or autonomous, armed or not, for use by civilian or military operators. Words in the real world rarely have the strictured meanings you assign them in your mind.

3rd: (on the eagle and chick line) There you go with your severely narrow mind again, Rob -- it's always about guns, guns, guns with you. Consumer drones come armed with cameras. In the world of cinematography, the common term for getting footage (see that word in the next line, next to the word "aerie," which means "eagle's nest"?) is "shooting." 'Nuff said.

C'mon, Ironside, lighten up and stop taking yourself and your useless encyclopedic knowledge so seriously. You would breath a lot easier if you'd just quit puffing up your chest all the time.
Rob Arndt - December 29, 2015 - Report this comment
Not splitting hairs, but I never said UAV meant Unarmed. I just told you once armed the RQ-1 was redesignated MQ-1. Fact. On the "shooting" line, you are correct. I reread it because you switched from civilian to military three quarters down From Xmas tree present to citing UCAV deaths. A bit uneven. Since I've done many UAV and UCAV topics, I suppose this must come across as a nitpick, but I still rated 555!
Rob Arndt - December 29, 2015 - Report this comment
Btw, UFO had its roots in US military U-Foe for mysterious blips on radar screens starting in WW2. This morphed into standard UFO (Unidentified Flying Object) postwar until the alien freaks hijacked the term. Many of the strange shapes in the sky have been and will always be military blackcraft testing. Some of the German craft of 1945 started that trend be it Li DM-1, the advanced Horten flying wings, the "Foo Fighters" or true Flugscheiben (Flight Discs). Those captured were moved to Wright Field, then down to New Mexico, over to Edwards, and up to Groom Lake (remnants at MacDill AFB). The alien nonsense started with Roswell and that craft wasn't even disc-shaped but a delta!!!
Chris Caillouet - December 29, 2015 - Report this comment
Huh, that is really weird! It looks like Rob Arndt tried posting a couple of comments here, but all I see is big fields of white space below his name. ???
Rob Arndt - December 29, 2015 - Report this comment
This happened before with others as well. I can see my comments fine, but know what you're talking about! Weird, indeed! Security Code is TRY!!!
God of the Internet - December 29, 2015 - Report this comment
I apologize for the screw-up, especially to Mr. Arndt. A day without weapons talk is like a day without sunshine.
Rob Arndt - December 29, 2015 - Report this comment
Apparently, GOI can read them ;-)
John Lomain - December 30, 2015 - Report this comment
Good parody

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