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Song Parodies -> "(It) Totally Drips When I Shart"

Original Song Title:

"Total Eclipse Of The Heart"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bonnie Tyler

Parody Song Title:

"(It) Totally Drips When I Shart"

Parody Written by:

Chris Caillouet

The Lyrics

If your medication for a rectal dysfunction isn't a suppository, you may not be doing it right.
(Turn around)
Every now and then I get a cramp in my belly
And my face becomes a frown

(Turn around)
Every now and then I get a gurgling rumble
And muffling all the sounds is too tough

(Turn around)
Every now and then I get the crazy idea
That I could let just a puff bubble out

(Turn around)
Every now and then I feel a little bit satisfied
But then I realize it's not dry

(Turn around, Brown Eye)
Every now and then I gotta shart
(Turn around, Brown Eye)
Every now and then I gotta shart

(Turn around)
Every now and then I get distended with flatus
And I dream of breaking wind

(Turn around)
Every now and then I need to take a hiatus
From propriety and friends and their “norms”

(Turn around)
Every now and then I feel the pressure is building
And I know I'm gonna have to let fly

(Turn around)
Every now and then I feel a little bit satisfied,
But then I realize it's not dry

(Turn around, Brown Eye)
Every now and then I gotta shart
(Turn around, Brown Eye)
Every now and then I gotta shart

And I need to now, tonight
And I need to more than ever
’Cuz if I hold my sphincter tight
It could be catastrophic later

And I've already learned it ain't right
If I'm wearing a thong
So whether you can take it or you head for the road
My ass is like a cannon and it's gonna explode
(Gonna explode)

I don't know what to do, hate all the rude remarks
I've ruined all my underwear with shitty skidmarks

I really need to tonight
Yeah, Daddy's gonna shart tonight
Yeah, Daddy's gonna shart tonight

Once upon a time passing gas was a blast
But now it strikes such fear in my heart
There's nothing I can do
It totally drips when I shart

Once upon a time my tight-whities were white
But now they're really dingy and dark
Embarrassing but true
It totally drips when I shart

[Instrumental Interlude/Tuba Solo]

(Turn around, Brown Eye)
Every now and then I gotta shart
(Turn around, Brown Eye)
Every now and then I gotta shart

And I need to now, tonight
And I need to more than ever
’Cuz if I hold my sphincter tight
It could be catastrophic later

And I learned the hard way it ain't right
If I'm wearing a thong
So whether you can take it or you head for the road
My ass is like a cannon and it's gonna explode
(Gonna explode)

I don't know what to do, hate all the rude remarks
I've ruined all my underwear with shitty skidmarks

I really need to tonight
Yeah, Daddy's gonna shart tonight
Yeah, Daddy's gonna shart tonight

Once upon a time passing gas was a blast
But now it strikes such fear in my heart
There's nothing I can do
It totally drips when I shart

Once upon a time my tight-whities were tight
But now they're really falling apart
Eww, it's in my shoe
It totally drips when I shart

It totally drips when I shart
(Turn around, Brown Eye)
(Turn around, Brown Eye)
(Turn around)
Copyright © 2015 by Chris Caillouet. All rights reserved.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.1
How Funny: 3.1
Overall Rating: 3.1

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   8
 8
 8
 
 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   9
 9
 9
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

TJC - January 22, 2015 - Report this comment
You're parodyin' Every Which Way Butt Loose! (So glad I found this on Julian Assange's new site, 'Ickyleaks')
Jonathan - January 22, 2015 - Report this comment
smells like you've got a (s)hit! 5's
Dimitri Kissoff - January 22, 2015 - Report this comment
Execrable. Grow up.
Chris Caillouet - January 23, 2015 - Report this comment
TJC: Then you must also know about Assange's other new site that reveals which political leaders suffer from urinary incontinence: LeakyWicks.
Chris Caillouet - January 23, 2015 - Report this comment
Jonathan: "And I can smell it wafting on the air tonight. Oh, Lord." Thanks for voting and commenting!
Chris Caillouet - January 23, 2015 - Report this comment
Dimitri Kissoff: C'mon, you can't tell me you didn't snicker just a little bit at the title. Grow up? Nah, I prefer to leave the stick OUT of my ass (hence all the sharting).
Giorgio Coniglio - January 26, 2015 - Report this comment
As a contributor, I personally find this submission distasteful and unnecessary. I know that this opinion is shared by an esteemed entity known as "Pseudonym", and likely by others. Would you consider diverting your considerable talent to less controversial subjects? Taking humor seriously (No rating given) GioLio
Chris Caillouet - January 26, 2015 - Report this comment
Giorgio Coniglio: I saw the comment from Pseudonym on your "Stealthy AIR-space Man" parody complaining about "graphic descriptions of defecation and prison rape" and "A slang term for an erect male member." Here's a big "NO" to your suggestion about how I should apply my talents, and a suggestion for you: If you two find my work and that of others so troubling, you are welcome to avoid it in the future. As I write, this parody has more 5s than 1s so you are clearly in the minority here. Still, I won't be upset if you choose to post more criticism or try to drag my scores down with lots of 1s. Also, as long as you are going around tagging parodies that offend you, be sure to check out Harold Fuccerman's "He's Got The Whole World Up His Butt"; it should be right up your alley, so to speak. Btw, you and Pseudo should be happy to know that my parody of "On The Road Again" about premature ejaculation did not get published; therefore censorship is not entirely dead. Finally, your sign-off claim of "taking humor seriously" is silly, since humor by definition serves to undercut seriousness and turn it on its head. Just because you don't like bathroom humor doesn't mean you are somehow more "serious" about humor than those who do.

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