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Song Parodies -> "Totaled Eclipse All Apart"

Original Song Title:

"Total Eclipse of the Heart"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bonnie Tyler

Parody Song Title:

"Totaled Eclipse All Apart"

Parody Written by:

wannabemustangjockey

The Lyrics

This parody is more than a year in the making. A guy laments having wrecked his sporty car.
(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a need for speed going and I put the hammer down
(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of traffic
(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous when a plain brown unmarked cruiser goes by
(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified when folks almost hit me while I drive

(slow it down, rice guy)
And then just like that it fell apart

(slow it down, rice guy)
And then just like that it fell apart

(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I drive a little wild
(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a little bit brainless and I feel unbreakable in my car
(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I take a stupid chance on the fly
(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified when I re-a-lize that I could die

(slow it down, rice guy)
And then just like that it fell apart

(slow it down, rice guy)
And then just like that it fell apart

'Cause I wrecked my car tonight; it's been screwed up more than ever
And there's no way to make it right; it'll be this way forever.
Might as well tell how it happened, right? 'cause you'll all want to know
I started passing over the yellow solid line --
A truck was coming and I couldn't move back in time
I swerved off of the road and flew off into the dark
And wrapped the car around an oak tree growing in the park
There's no sense keeping it, right? I'm gonna part it out tonight
Or try to sell it all outright

Once my little red Mitsubishi was hot, but now it would be lucky to start
There's nothing I can do, a totaled Eclipse all apart

Once upon a time there was life in my ride but now its only use is for parts
Nothing else to say, a totaled Eclipse all apart

[audio reenactment of crash]

(slow it down, rice guy)
And then just like that it fell apart

(slow it down, rice guy)
And then just like that it fell apart

And I need it now tonight and I need it more than ever
Yeah that maneuver wasn't right, one that I'll regret forever.
And there's no hope of making it right 'cause so much has gone wrong.
My DSM* is totaled, it's the end of the line.
I loved it but it's crusty, smashed and covered in grime
And now I'm stuck with driving my uncle's rusty Dart
My ruined Mitsu's better than his lame old beater car
I wish I had it tonight... my date is gonna suck alright,
Ain't gonna have no luck tonight

Once my little red Mitsubishi was hot, but now it's just a wreck in my yard
There's nothing I can do, a totaled Eclipse all apart

Once upon a time there was life in my ride but now its only use is for parts
Nothing else to say, a totaled Eclipse all apart
A totaled Eclipse all apart, a totaled Eclipse all apart.

Slow it down, rice guy,
Slow it down, rice guy,

Slow it down....


------
*DSM = a nickname for the Eclipse, after Diamond Star Motors (the Mitsubishi-Chrysler joint venture that built it)
(c) 2007 Jay the Wannabe Mustang Jockey - I don't just write song parodies

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   1
 2
 1
 
 5   16
 15
 16
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Syncronos - June 27, 2007 - Report this comment
*humbly bows* This is sheer brilliance!
Michael Pacholek - June 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Glad to see the transmission of this parody.
McKludge - June 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Nice work on an excruciating OS. I can imagine this one took a while. 555
Darrell Wilhelm - July 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Wannabemustangjockey, I would GREATLY prefer to drive an old rusty Dodge Dart over any late-model Japanese car excepting an Isuzu VehiCROSS, an Acura NSX, a late-model Mazda RX7 or a Honda S2000 ONLY if they were completely stock. If they were made into "tuner cars", then I would take the Dodge Dart, bar none.
Agrimorfee - July 13, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) wannabemustangjockey is the only Amiright author i know who consistently pulls off the difficult task of writing about his favorite topic while making it accessible --and hilarious-- to automotive fans and non-fans alike.
Matthias - July 14, 2007 - Report this comment
I'm glad to see you back to the Auto-Shop this month.
Phil Alexander - July 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Have to say that I don't think this was one of your best: competent job on a tricky song, but didn't have the spark (so to speak) of some of your others.
bobpiecheese - July 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) When I get a car, I really hope that it doesn't fall apart. Of course, I also hope it's a Transformer...fat chance. Great job an a soppy OS!
Peter Andersson - July 27, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - You yourself have laid the standard for car parodies in fifth gear a bit higher than this, but I still found it to leave some of the competion to eat your dust.
Max Power - July 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Good
Jason - July 28, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This is excellent, well done.
McKludge - July 28, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above. I'm still trying to figure out how Bonnie Tyler ended up with that many different records. How the hell can she have 4 different "greatest hits" CDs?
Cat - July 28, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) You must have used a different version of the OS as there's an extra first part, but no matter, this was great! Loved the crack about the date.
Jeff Reuben - July 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Very well done on an interesting OS
The Charnsta - July 31, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Love the OS, and also, this is EXACTLY why I don't have my learners yet... he he he HE HE HE! 5-5-5
stuart mcarthur - July 31, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) wow, I disagree with Phil - I thought this WAS one of your best, Jay - some sublime lines there, that really fit the story effortlessly, which shows why it took you a year to complete it - loved "And wrapped the car around an oak tree growing in the park" for some reason - it's hard to make the story work and you did it - all with your trademark esoteric automobile detail - 555
Kristof Robertson - July 31, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I'll sit nicely on the fence between Stu and Phil on this one, Jay...I think it's great, and you worked wonders with a byatch of an OS, but it needed a few trademark wbmj knock out punches to put it over the top. Still, a worthy 555
Below Average Dave - July 31, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Hmm. . .I guess I just haven't read as many by you as some others have, but I thought it was a creative take on a very challenge song. . .Kudos on the OS targetted. . .
Jack Wilson - July 31, 2007 - Report this comment
This was great! 5s

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