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Song Parodies -> "Total Eclipse of Gephardt"

Original Song Title:

"Total Eclipse of the Heart"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bonnie Tyler

Parody Song Title:

"Total Eclipse of Gephardt"

Parody Written by:

John Jenkins

The Lyrics

Dick Gephardt's presidential campaign came to a sudden conclusion after his distant fourth place finish in the Iowa caucuses, which was especially disappointing since he won in Iowa in his 1988 campaign.
(Vote for me)
Each election year, the nation's voters see a faraway look in my eyes
(Vote for me)
Each election year, I get a little bit silly and I start to fantasize
(Vote for me)
Each election year, I get a little bit jealous of the White House resident
(Vote for me)
Each election year, my inflated ego makes me want to run for president.

(Don't vote for those guys)
This election year I ran again
(Don't vote for those guys)
This election year I tried again

But in Iowa last night, Hawkeye voters pulled the lever,
And they made me feel so contrite, I'll quit politics forever.
How could they conclude two Johns were right and think a Dick was wrong?
We campaigned across the state in our furry parkas,
And, after the vote count, I'm the Iowa carcass.
There's only one state left where voters can endure me,
Which is why I represent the state of Misery.

I really lost it last night,
People think that I am so trite,
Early retirement is my plight.

Once upon a time, I was rising in the polls, now the polls are falling apart
The pollsters all proclaim, a total eclipse of Gephardt.
Once upon a time, I had the Hawkeye's vote, but now John Kerry is their sweetheart,
All that remains is a totally ticked-off Gephardt!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.3
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   1
 1
 1
 

User Comments

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Guy - January 23, 2004 - Report this comment
How could they conclude two Johns were right and think a Dick was wrong?

Great line John. Speaking of Dicks, I remember a campaign slogan in 1972 about Richard Nixon. It was "Don't change Dick's in the middle of a screw, vote for Nixon in '72". Well done parody, I five you, sir. .
Phil Alexander - January 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Superb. Missing a verse or two, but superb anyway
Johnny D - January 23, 2004 - Report this comment
JJ, well done, and I cast my vote! 5's!
Michael Pacholek - January 23, 2004 - Report this comment
You forgot the second verse, otherwise great. "How could they conclude two Johns were right and think a Dick was wrong?" Two words: Kennedy and Nixon. I can think of a couple of other actually-used T-shirt slogans that related to DICK Nixon and George BUSH, but Chucky won't let me post them. This new anti-sex edict has me licked.
Claude Prez - January 23, 2004 - Report this comment
"Iím the Iowa carcass" alone warrants fives. Great job John.
John Jenkins - January 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, Guy, Phil, Johnny D, Michael, and Claude. Phil and MP - yes, I know that I left out a verse and a couple of lines, but in my draft, they were pretty boring stuff, so I left them out. I appreciate your pointing out the deficiency but not penalizing it too severely. And MP, you might be licked, you still seem to be able to erect a lot of good parodies.
Royce Miller - July 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Read this today, John; a hard song to parody, and you did a great job with it; guess it's one that lost votes in the big vote deletion.
Some Dude - December 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Nice idea, but you should have worked harder on the meter. It's not singable.

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