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Song Parodies -> "Like, I Am A Cellphone"

Original Song Title:

"If I Were A Rich Man"

Original Performer:

Zero Mostel

Parody Song Title:

"Like, I Am A Cellphone"

Parody Written by:

Adagio

The Lyrics

This parody is from the point of view of the cellphone itself.
"Dear God, You made many gadgets for people.
I realize that being a cellphone is no shame.
But it's no great honor either!
So, what would have been so terrible if I had been a computer?"

I cry, here's my timpan'
Squeeky-squawky, ringy, dingy, silly squeaks and bleeps I hear.
All day long I'm busy as a bun
With a load of healthy bran.
I should have had a face guard
Squeeky-squawky, ringy, dingy, silly squeaks and bleeps I hear.
If I were a kiddy with an itch
I'd a had a puter by now, man.

Hide me, I beg, all these will use my minutes by dozen,
Trite as it is I get a frown.
May I bend your ear, peeps would've been mellow,
There could be no strong disgrace just showing up,
But, they shun even grace around town
Talk some more speeding somewhere, on the road.

I've seen sights of clods with cells many talking, cease not
Chores they do to see and hear.
They teach, and plow, and sit upon the throne.
You'd think that in the john there'd be no rear
Gas to pass loud over air, air waves, man.

I cry, here's my timpan'
Squeeky-squawky, ringy, dingy, silly squeaks and bleeps I hear.
All day long I'm busy as a bun
With a load of healthy bran.
I should have had a face guard
Squeeky-squawky, ringy, dingy, silly squeaks and bleeps I hear.
If I were a kiddy with an itch
I'd a had a puter by now, man.

Why must the wise, and the old, be the only ones polite?
A shame what we do hear when
Surprising deals conferred upon me, right.
I see them putting on airs and strutting like a peacock.
Oh, what great people they have been.
Screaming all their secrets, what a sight.

Most of the people they think the problem lies with me.
They should all see true surmise then.
Strikes me that they are just lies.
"You aren't a techie".
"Put the cell phone down".
Poser items that would cross a layman's eyes.
And it won't make one bit of difference if I am right or I am wrong.
Got a cell, so I must really know!

Final wish is having something on my face
To shield me from all the spit and spray
That is coming from the mouth of them all
Maybe have an alert so to warn me of impending calls
I say.
That would be the nicest thing of all.

I cry, here's my timpan'
Squeeky-squawky, ringy, dingy, silly squeaks and bleeps I hear.
All day long I'm busy as a bun
With a load of healthy bran
I should have had a face guard
Squeeky-squawky, ringy, dingy, silly squeaks and bleeps I hear.
If I were a kiddy with an itch
I'd a had a puter by now, man.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 1
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   2
 1
 0
 
 5   3
 3
 4
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Wild Man - September 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Nice work Pat.
Meriadoc - September 09, 2003 - Report this comment
This is very strange Pat! :-D A five for philosopy anyway! Good job.
Adagio - September 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks Wild Man and Meriadoc!
Guy DiRito - September 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Pat - This is very good even though I don't know this song too well. Looks like you may have spent some seroius time on this one.
Phil Alexander - September 10, 2003 - Report this comment
Very original pov: I've considered writing "If I had a cellphone" in the past (I ended up doing "If I were the Dark Lord", instead).
Adagio - September 10, 2003 - Report this comment
Phil, could you sue me over the same thought? I considered that title too..:D. (j/k) Thanks a lot, Guy!
Jeff Reuben - September 10, 2003 - Report this comment
I enjoyed this =)
Diva - September 10, 2003 - Report this comment
I liked it, very original :)
Diva - September 18, 2003 - Report this comment
LOOK your in the top twenty! Congraulations are in order.
Adagio - September 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Diva :D Worth it!!
2nz - March 22, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but this title and the obvious work you put in have convinced me to find the song and come back. Hopefully, I'll bring some more people with me ;c).
Adagio - March 22, 2004 - Report this comment
2nz....this song is from "Fiddler on the Roof" (if I were a rich man, da-da-de....).
Johnny D - April 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Bravo! Brilliant! 5's
Adagio - April 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Johnny!

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