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Song Parodies -> "Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up into Chemists"

Original Song Title:

"Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up into Cowboys"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Willie Nelson

Parody Song Title:

"Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up into Chemists"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be chemists.
Don't let 'em read PhysChem or teach the Bio;
Let 'em be cowboys and lawyers and so.
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be chemists.
When you see a commotion, there's been an explosion
An experiment did awry go

Chemists aren't easy to understand and harder to know
when they speak of "yield" they do not mean that they will go
With stained old lab coats and them old test tube racks
They speak of the van der Waals forces -
And if they're "in-solvent" it doesn't mean they're broke
They've just inhaled it too much!

Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be chemists.
Don't let 'em read PhysChem or teach the Bio;
Let 'em be cowboys and lawyers and so.
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be chemists.
When you see a commotion, there's been an explosion
An experiment did awry go

Chemists love glassware and plastics and steel, hydrocarbons
Equations and formulae, substances, plots and the stills
And when they are working in lab, they live in a danger
of intoxication, perhaps an explosion!
Their clothes are all tinged, and their hair has been singed
From experiments that did not go well

Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be chemists.
Don't let 'em read PhysChem or teach the Bio;
Let 'em be cowboys and lawyers and so.
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be chemists.
When you see a commotion, there's been an explosion
An experiment did awry go!

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Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 6

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User Comments

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Patrick - June 06, 2013 - Report this comment
As a chemist yourself, I'm sure you are cognizant of the reaction of powdered metals in the presence of strong oxidizers when heat is introduced. Do such things go on in Finland?
Susanna Viljanen - June 06, 2013 - Report this comment
Yep, I know really well.

Funnily there is always at least one freshman - usually male - who wants to do "experiments" in the lab, such as mixing potassium chlorate with sulfuric acid, or rust and aluminum, or re-inventing the Greek fire. It is merely good luck that there never was a serious accident in the lab.

But every chemist recognized his or her own stains on the ceiling...
Patrick - June 07, 2013 - Report this comment
I once read a book about various "forbidden" subjects. The author spoke of a "militant" who ignorantly stirred red phosphorous dry into potassium chlorate. Later I met the author and noticed that he was missing the fingers of one hand.

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