Song Parodies -> Are You Insultin' My Swing? (The Paranoid Golf Pro)
| Original Song Title: | "Sultans Of Swing" |
| Original Performer: | The Dire Straits |
| Parody Song Title: | "Are You Insultin' My Swing? (The Paranoid Golf Pro)" |
| Parody Written by: | Paul Robinson |
If you've ever followed golf you know that some of the players are pretty tightly wound. Our protagonist here seems to be one that's getting pretty close to the edge.
(Instrumental start)
You hit a driver in the rough
It didn't fade enough; a bad sign
Your ball is buried and your line is blocked by the trees
The wind is blowing at you over the pines
Looks like you're probably gonna bogey this thing
You need a hook here but you've got no room for your backswing
And you're praying that your shot won't go out of bounds
The competition knows that you're really pressing
You miss this shot and it ruins your round
You'll miss the cut
You'll miss the cut
Then leave town
You check out Tiger Woods, he's got all the goods
He's so disciplined; just can't be distracted by anything
He's got a five-stroke lead; he's playing as he should
He's probably gonna take another Master's Ring.
John Daly doesn't like it when he doesn't make the cut
He used to stay out drinking the whole night
They say he used to drink almost anything
Say he got wasted every freaking night
Now they're insultin'
Think they're insultin' my swing
Now some folks in the crowd are starting to howl "you're a goner"
Dressed like assholes in their golf clothes and those cleated golf soles
And when they get rude we can't tell them to get screwed
We'd get fined by the PGA
They are insultin'
Yes, they're insultin', for real
(For Real )
(Instrumental break)
Then the sponsor starts to talk to the sports writer's
Wow, I can't believe what I just heard
He called my swing "the worst he'd ever seen"
Someday I'm really gonna get that turd
'Cause he's insultin'
Yes, he's insultin' my swing
(Instrumentals to end)
You hit a driver in the rough
It didn't fade enough; a bad sign
Your ball is buried and your line is blocked by the trees
The wind is blowing at you over the pines
Looks like you're probably gonna bogey this thing
You need a hook here but you've got no room for your backswing
And you're praying that your shot won't go out of bounds
The competition knows that you're really pressing
You miss this shot and it ruins your round
You'll miss the cut
You'll miss the cut
Then leave town
You check out Tiger Woods, he's got all the goods
He's so disciplined; just can't be distracted by anything
He's got a five-stroke lead; he's playing as he should
He's probably gonna take another Master's Ring.
John Daly doesn't like it when he doesn't make the cut
He used to stay out drinking the whole night
They say he used to drink almost anything
Say he got wasted every freaking night
Now they're insultin'
Think they're insultin' my swing
Now some folks in the crowd are starting to howl "you're a goner"
Dressed like assholes in their golf clothes and those cleated golf soles
And when they get rude we can't tell them to get screwed
We'd get fined by the PGA
They are insultin'
Yes, they're insultin', for real
(For Real )
(Instrumental break)
Then the sponsor starts to talk to the sports writer's
Wow, I can't believe what I just heard
He called my swing "the worst he'd ever seen"
Someday I'm really gonna get that turd
'Cause he's insultin'
Yes, he's insultin' my swing
(Instrumentals to end)
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 5 | 8 | 8 | 8 |
User Comments Follow...
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
I've heard this song, but can't come up with all the tune right now in my mind, but your title is worth lots of green fees
You got me laughin'
You got me laughin' out loud
Out loud !!
Paul, this parody hits the sweet spot! 555, dude, this rocks!
You got me laughin' out loud
Out loud !!
Paul, this parody hits the sweet spot! 555, dude, this rocks!
Think you got a hole in one, Paul. 5-5-5
Royce & Johnny D - Glad you liked it. Thanks!!
I'm yelling fore but clickin' five. Well done!
Jan & Guy, Thanks!
Congratulations, you scored an eagle with this one.
Parodykeet - Thanks!
You did a really good job! 5's
Adagio - Thanks!
funny as hell. at 5 foot 6, i'm only allowed to play miniature golf, though
Ditto on Adagio's comment; you really did a good job.
Alvin & Serafina - thanks. Alvin, I'm 5'8" but the way I play I OUGHT to stick to miniature golf.
This was excellent. All my creative comments (fore...fore...fore) were already taken though
Davis Love III should take a chill pill. It's not like he was getting ready to swing when he had that Tiger fan kicked out of the gallery. BTW, good song.
Jeff Reuben & Ian - Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.
Tiger's goal is Masters' green jackets, not rings - I know, jacket is a lot harder to rhyme. Otherwise, you aced this parody.
John, boy - I thought I just sent back a "thanks", but I don't see it here now. Anyway, Thanks! Good catch on the "Ring" v. "Jacket", I took a little "parodiac license" there. I think I can do one more before the authorities order a revocation hearing.
Here's three five irons for you...
Hmm.. so much for "a good walk spoiled" - this one's a mighty good read. Excellent stuff, Paul
Meriadoc & Phil - Hmmm...was sure I posted a "thank you" to Meriadoc back on 3/5, but it's not here so...Thank you, both! Glad you enjoyed it.
One day I'll be able to say I knew you before you became famous. Great song.
ChMarshall - Thanks!
All 5s, a truly great piece Paul!
Rod W. - Thank you!
Paul - I grew up on golf courses. Great pick for the March SOTM competition. This one will definately be on my list of possibilities. Good luck.
Thanks Guy, I've glanced at some of the other entries and you can make a case for any of them. It'll be fun.
(Voted some time back) Nice job!
Melhi, thanks again!
Paul, I commented and voted before, but enjoyed the song again even though I am not a golfer. Kinda took my cue in college when they had that as a course and had the 'hole' about 10 feet wide. I couldn't hit it. lol
I knew that I forgot something...good luck in the SOTM competition.
Adagio - Thanks again!
Great job, P-Rob. Fave lines: "When they get rude we can't tell them to get screwed - We'd get fined by the PGA."
Late as ususal Paul, but it was worth the wait! I loved the John Daly verse, got got him down well.
Spaff & Per - Thanks!
The Tiger line had me LOL--great job Paul.
Claude P. Thanks!
"...on the fifth green now... could poeple be quieter, I'd like to hear the grass grow." Nice one, Paul. I agree with Spaff and his fave lines.
I had the distinct pleasure of playing golf with the author of this parody today. We both refrained from insulting each other's swing, and we even refrained from insulting each other's political orientation. Thanks, Paul.
2nz - Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.
John J - Thank YOU! I really enjoyed getting out and demonstrating just how BAD a person could play and still have a good time. While I did manage a few decent shots and did drop one putt of around maybe 20 feet for the most part I played dreadfully. But I really did enjoy the experience. NOTE: I watched the news later in the evening and the Weather Report said it was near 100 degrees today! I don't think it was quite that hot on the course because the breeze we got most of the day had a cool feel to it.
(ABC-A) See above comments. Glad you decided to "Play a round" with this again. Nice choice for the A round.
Guy - Thanks again! I thought I had used this in the "A" round last year, but - thanks to your comment on the one I actually DID use I realized I had not entered this one for "ABC" previously.
(ABC) This one's still a solid hitter!
(ABC) Still super!
Thanks Mel & JD...
(ABC05) This parody swings!
(ABC) I'm glad you put this one up too. Commented and voted before, voted again. 5's
abc - they didn't insult your swing, Paul, they just said you look like a hooker - very funny take on the title-line - 555
(ABC) Absolutely LOVE the OS...spledid job. 5s, which would be double bogeys on the par 3 course (although the amiright contest course would be about a par 50, so...multiple eagle?)
(ABC) DKTOS
Thanks to all!
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