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Song Parodies -> "Are You Insultin' My Swing? (The Paranoid Golf Pro)"

Original Song Title:

"Sultans Of Swing"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Dire Straits

Parody Song Title:

"Are You Insultin' My Swing? (The Paranoid Golf Pro)"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

If you've ever followed golf you know that some of the players are pretty tightly wound. Our protagonist here seems to be one that's getting pretty close to the edge.
(Instrumental start)

You hit a driver in the rough
It didn't fade enough; a bad sign
Your ball is buried and your line is blocked by the trees
The wind is blowing at you over the pines
Looks like you're probably gonna bogey this thing

You need a hook here but you've got no room for your backswing
And you're praying that your shot won't go out of bounds
The competition knows that you're really pressing
You miss this shot and it ruins your round
You'll miss the cut
You'll miss the cut
Then leave town

You check out Tiger Woods, he's got all the goods
He's so disciplined; just can't be distracted by anything
He's got a five-stroke lead; he's playing as he should
He's probably gonna take another Master's Ring.

John Daly doesn't like it when he doesn't make the cut
He used to stay out drinking the whole night
They say he used to drink almost anything
Say he got wasted every freaking night
Now they're insultin'
Think they're insultin' my swing

Now some folks in the crowd are starting to howl "you're a goner"
Dressed like assholes in their golf clothes and those cleated golf soles
And when they get rude we can't tell them to get screwed
We'd get fined by the PGA
They are insultin'
Yes, they're insultin', for real
(For Real )

(Instrumental break)

Then the sponsor starts to talk to the sports writer's
Wow, I can't believe what I just heard
He called my swing "the worst he'd ever seen"
Someday I'm really gonna get that turd
'Cause he's insultin'
Yes, he's insultin' my swing

(Instrumentals to end)

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Royce Miller - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
I've heard this song, but can't come up with all the tune right now in my mind, but your title is worth lots of green fees
Johnny D - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
You got me laughin'
You got me laughin' out loud
Out loud !!

Paul, this parody hits the sweet spot! 555, dude, this rocks!
Jan Unwin - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Think you got a hole in one, Paul. 5-5-5
Paul Robinson - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Royce & Johnny D - Glad you liked it. Thanks!!
Guy - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm yelling fore but clickin' five. Well done!
Paul Robinson - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Jan & Guy, Thanks!
ParodyKeet - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Congratulations, you scored an eagle with this one.
Paul Robinson - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Parodykeet - Thanks!
Adagio - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
You did a really good job! 5's
Paul Robiinson - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Adagio - Thanks!
alvin rhodes - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
funny as hell. at 5 foot 6, i'm only allowed to play miniature golf, though
Serafina - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Ditto on Adagio's comment; you really did a good job.
Paul Robinson - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Alvin & Serafina - thanks. Alvin, I'm 5'8" but the way I play I OUGHT to stick to miniature golf.
Jeff Reuben - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
This was excellent. All my creative comments (fore...fore...fore) were already taken though
Ian - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Davis Love III should take a chill pill. It's not like he was getting ready to swing when he had that Tiger fan kicked out of the gallery. BTW, good song.
Paul Robiinson - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Jeff Reuben & Ian - Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.
John Jenkins - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Tiger's goal is Masters' green jackets, not rings - I know, jacket is a lot harder to rhyme. Otherwise, you aced this parody.
Paul Robiinson - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
John, boy - I thought I just sent back a "thanks", but I don't see it here now. Anyway, Thanks! Good catch on the "Ring" v. "Jacket", I took a little "parodiac license" there. I think I can do one more before the authorities order a revocation hearing.
Meriadoc - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Here's three five irons for you...
Phil Alexander - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Hmm.. so much for "a good walk spoiled" - this one's a mighty good read. Excellent stuff, Paul
Paul Robinson - March 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Meriadoc & Phil - Hmmm...was sure I posted a "thank you" to Meriadoc back on 3/5, but it's not here so...Thank you, both! Glad you enjoyed it.
ChMarshall - March 12, 2004 - Report this comment
One day I'll be able to say I knew you before you became famous. Great song.
Paul Robinson - March 12, 2004 - Report this comment
ChMarshall - Thanks!
Rod Worden - April 01, 2004 - Report this comment
All 5s, a truly great piece Paul!
Paul Robinson - April 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Rod W. - Thank you!
Guy - April 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul - I grew up on golf courses. Great pick for the March SOTM competition. This one will definately be on my list of possibilities. Good luck.
Paul Robinson - April 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Guy, I've glanced at some of the other entries and you can make a case for any of them. It'll be fun.
Melhi - April 05, 2004 - Report this comment
(Voted some time back) Nice job!
Paul Robinson - April 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Melhi, thanks again!
Adagio - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul, I commented and voted before, but enjoyed the song again even though I am not a golfer. Kinda took my cue in college when they had that as a course and had the 'hole' about 10 feet wide. I couldn't hit it. lol
Adagio - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
I knew that I forgot something...good luck in the SOTM competition.
Paul Robinson - April 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Adagio - Thanks again!
Spaff.com - April 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job, P-Rob. Fave lines: "When they get rude we can't tell them to get screwed - We'd get fined by the PGA."
Peregrin - April 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Late as ususal Paul, but it was worth the wait! I loved the John Daly verse, got got him down well.
Paul Robinson - April 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Spaff & Per - Thanks!
Claude Prez - April 12, 2004 - Report this comment
The Tiger line had me LOL--great job Paul.
Paul Robinson - April 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Claude P. Thanks!
2nz - May 01, 2004 - Report this comment
"...on the fifth green now... could poeple be quieter, I'd like to hear the grass grow." Nice one, Paul. I agree with Spaff and his fave lines.
John Jenkins - May 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I had the distinct pleasure of playing golf with the author of this parody today. We both refrained from insulting each other's swing, and we even refrained from insulting each other's political orientation. Thanks, Paul.
Paul Robinson - May 02, 2004 - Report this comment
2nz - Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.
Paul Robinson - May 02, 2004 - Report this comment
John J - Thank YOU! I really enjoyed getting out and demonstrating just how BAD a person could play and still have a good time. While I did manage a few decent shots and did drop one putt of around maybe 20 feet for the most part I played dreadfully. But I really did enjoy the experience. NOTE: I watched the news later in the evening and the Weather Report said it was near 100 degrees today! I don't think it was quite that hot on the course because the breeze we got most of the day had a cool feel to it.
Guy - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-A) See above comments. Glad you decided to "Play a round" with this again. Nice choice for the A round.
Paul Robinson - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Guy - Thanks again! I thought I had used this in the "A" round last year, but - thanks to your comment on the one I actually DID use I realized I had not entered this one for "ABC" previously.
Melhi - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) This one's still a solid hitter!
Johnny D - March 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Still super!
Paul Robinson - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Mel & JD...
Agrimorfee - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) This parody swings!
Adagio - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) I'm glad you put this one up too. Commented and voted before, voted again. 5's
Stuart McArthur - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
abc - they didn't insult your swing, Paul, they just said you look like a hooker - very funny take on the title-line - 555
Charlie Decker - March 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Absolutely LOVE the OS...spledid job. 5s, which would be double bogeys on the par 3 course (although the amiright contest course would be about a par 50, so...multiple eagle?)
MysteryGoat - March 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS
Paul Robinson - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks to all!

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