Take a look at my boyfriend
He's the only one I've got
Not much of a boyfriend
He never seems to get a lot

Like for instance, he's so distant
And he wonders why I don't care
He never stands up, for me - ever,
I keep hoping he's going to come through
But there's not a lot I can do

I cook him kippers for breakfast
He calls me mummy dear mummy dear
He's got to have them in his lexus
Cos he's going to be a millionaire

(what's he got? not a lot)

He's a winner, he's a sinner
He asked me if I want his autograph
I'm a loser, what a joker
I'm playing my jokes upon you
Cos I don't know what else to do

Don't you look at my boyfriend
He's the only one I've got
Not much of a boyfriend
He's constantly on the bot

People tell me, he's a loser
But my boyfriend, he knows a lot
He's got plans for - California
He keeps hoping they're going to come through
But there's not a lot he can do ...