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Song Parodies -> "Black Jack Missouri Is Run By Jack-Asses"

Original Song Title:

"Do it Again"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Steely Dan

Parody Song Title:

"Black Jack Missouri Is Run By Jack-Asses"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Been taking a bit of a break here lately, but this News Item just begged for a parody - so... anyway - The city of Black Jack, Missouri, has an ordinance that prevents unwed couples from living there. It states: "The current ordinance prohibits more than three persons from living together unless they are related by "blood, marriage or adoption." It has been used to prevent unwed people from living together with their children. And now the Mayor and City Council want to evict a couple from a home they PURCHASED in Black Jack.
Got a warning in the mailbox from the Black Jack City Fathers
Said, "You violate our ord'nance and as such we want you outta here"
I inquired what I did wrong, "Why do you want me to leave?"
When they told me of the problem it was quite hard to believe

They said, "You can't, man, live here in sin – so you must get out now
Out of Black Jack, out of our town"

My reaction; was astonished – I was truly blown away
Just because we were not married they told us we could not stay
In my anger and resentment I told off the local mayor
"Who the Hell do you think you are to tell people they can't stay here?"

He said, "I'm the Black Jack Mayor, my friend, I'll kick your ass out of town
So go pack, man, and leave our town"

[Guitar solo]
[keyboard solo]

Now it's bad enough to realize that you're living among fools
But it's much worse when those assh*les want you to live by their rules
In Black Jack the City Father's seem to be inane and feckless
Wish I hadn't bought a house here; it seems now I do regret this

Because these hacks lack brains in their heads; there's nothing but air in there
All their heads do is sep'rate their ears

[out to end fade]

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

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User Comments

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Adagio - May 19, 2006 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but isn't that *almost* the same as a parent saying. "This is our house, you live by the rules." Maybe not the same..house rules are too generalized in this case.
alvin rhodes - May 19, 2006 - Report this comment
if only people would concentrate on the important issues...nice work on this..extra credit for "feckless"
Cat - May 19, 2006 - Report this comment
"All their heads do is sep'rate their ears…" Hahahaha! Still working that highly creative edge, Paul, and I love ya for that. Fives!
Paul Robinson - May 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Well, Pat, in short, "No"...a municipality has no right or business acting as a 'parent'...to ANYONE in a Free Society...remember, these people BOUGHT the house they want to live in...it's THEIR property...This is just an out-an-out outrageous abuse of power by small-minded fools who, as alvin pointed out, ought to be focusing on IMPORTANT issues instead of forcing their version of Morality on other people. It's flat-out Un-American and totally offensive. Thanks.
Adagio - May 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Paul, I was agreeing with you actually. (in a round a bout way)
Red Ant - May 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Shocking as it may seem, Virginia has a state law about the same thing, 18.2-345: Lewd and lascivious cohabitation.

If any persons, not married to each other, lewdly and lasciviously associate and cohabit together, or, whether married or not, be guilty of open and gross lewdness and lasciviousness, each of them shall be guilty of a Class 3 misdemeanor; and upon a repetition of the offense, and conviction thereof, each of them shall be guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor.

Although I couldn't track down their definitions of 'lewd/lascivious cohabitation', I take it basically means having sex (there is another law which applies to brothels/houses of ill-repute).

Unlike Missouri, no one in VA would enforce this law (which is ancient), because we realize it is friggin' stupid.

Oh, there was a parody somewhere above that was pretty good, I thought I'd mention that too. ;-) 5s.
Paul Robinson - May 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Cat - Glad you liked that line, Thanks! Pat - I wasn't sure whether you were or not...because, yes, as you mentioned later, it was a bit 'round-a-bout'...but that's OK...I just wanted to make sure you understood where I was at on this...Red, thanks...So, does anyone want to tell me just what is the deal 'down South', anyway? It's hard for me to believe a majority of the General Public ANYWHERE in the U.S. would want to have these types of "buttinsky" laws...BUT...I didn't read anything in the Kansas City Star article about this fiasco with any local residents coming forth to show any disagreement or disgust or dissent at this crap...I mean, if for no other reason than upholding their OWN property rights they ought to be up in arms....I mean, shouldn't they? Or maybe it's just OK with folks to have local hacks dictating who can live in a house that a private individual (or pair or individuals) owns...OH...yeah, stuff like that will NEVER happen to THEM...uh-huh...fine....well, my soapbox is creaking under the weight of my Sunday morning outrage...Hell, I bel that Mayor would be scandalized that I'm not in some damned Church right now...yeah, well, Mr. Black Jack City Mayor - if you are out there - KMA...

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