Song Parodies -> Fifty Things France Bans In Public

Original Song Title:	"Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover"
Original Performer:	Simon and Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:	"Fifty Things France Bans In Public"
Parody Written by:	Laurence Dunne

France is considering a ban on 'obvious religious symbols in public places'

The problem's what we wear on our head, Jacques said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
Religion must die in our struggle to be free
So lets make fifty things we'll ban in public

He said it's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore I hope the meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But showing off your faith is risking being rude
So lets make fifty things we'll ban in public
Fifty things we'll ban in public

Just shave off your beard, weird
just let your cross go, Joe
Menorah's a no, Moe
you've gotta let it all go
Your christian mag's quaint, saint
There's a headscarf ban, Anne
The Koran's a sin, Bin
Keep everything in

They say it grieves them so to see muslims in pain
They know there is something they could do to make them smile again
They said they appreciate that, then would you please explain
About the compromise

Jacques said, why don't we both just block the iraq fight
And I believe, the muslims you'll begin to see the light
And then he dissed them and he hoped to godlessness that he was right
So he made fifty things to ban in public
fifty things to ban in public

The Yamakah's lost, boss
those braid's can't last, Rast
there's a bible reprieve, Steve
and a Yin and Yang ban
Get the dot off your head, Ned
the fish-hat's a nope, pope
and the scepter is rude, dude
get them out of our land

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User Comments Follow...

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�tienne Kalafut - January 23, 2004 - Report this comment

Great job getting words to rhyme with first names. Nice reference to "Bin" Laden.

Guy - January 23, 2004 - Report this comment

Is this a modern version of the "French Correction"? Well done and what Etienne said.

Rick D - January 23, 2004 - Report this comment

This one was very clever and biting. 555

Laurence Dunne - January 23, 2004 - Report this comment

Thanks all

Johnny D - January 23, 2004 - Report this comment

What Rick D said. 555

Royce Miller - January 23, 2004 - Report this comment

very clever, Laurence

Eye1 - January 23, 2004 - Report this comment

many, I mean MANY people take a swing at this song bacause the rhyming is so easy. Most of the efforts are lame, in my opinion. This one, however is top notch! Great parody. Eye1

Jack Wilson - January 23, 2004 - Report this comment

Good job, Laurence!

sloatead - January 23, 2004 - Report this comment

call me a hardass, but the structure of the song was off, so i had to give you 4's

Claude Prez - January 23, 2004 - Report this comment

"Get the dot off your head, Ned" did it for me since it conjures images of Flanders converting to Hinduism; great stuff Laurence

mac195 - January 24, 2004 - Report this comment

Making fun of the French is a pretty easy job, but this is well done, Lawrence.

Laurence Dunne - January 24, 2004 - Report this comment

Well, I have written so many parodies about the US administration, I felt it was time to pick on someone else and this French law is an easy target :-)

Grammar Cop - January 24, 2004 - Report this comment

(a) Apostrophes and plurals do not mix. It's places, not places'. (b) Simon performed this without Garfunkel. (c) It's "yarmulke". (d) These problems distract from the cleverness of your work, Mr. "Dunn".

Laurence Dunne - January 24, 2004 - Report this comment

To Grammer cop: (a) Cop is not a proper name and therefore should not have been capitalized. (b) Cop is slang and therefore has no place in a proper English sentence. (c) I know how to spell it, but many of the readers of this song might not, so I took artistic license. You've heard of that, right? (d) I think I know how to spell my own name. (e) I didn't write places', I wrote a sentence with a section of the sentence in single quotes, with places as the last word. Duh! (f) the whole point of the parody was to poke fun, not to be grammatically correct. If you want to criticize me, criticize the parody on items such as humor, pacing, scanning, timing, etc.

Grammar Cop - January 24, 2004 - Report this comment

(a) You're right about one thing, LD. Your use of "places'" in this case is correct. You make the apostrophe mistake in so many other places that I jumped the gun. (b) If you check your reference books, though, you will see that any word or words can be used as a proper name if defined as such, in the way that "Snoop Dog" is capitalized. (c) I misspelled your name to make a point (as you must have been doing by your spelling of "Grammer"). (d) You are obviously sensitive to the criticisms of others, so why do you call other people insulting names on their work? They might be sensitive as well, so you should empathize. (e) You don't have to dumb down your spelling for others, as in "yamakah." If someone doesn't know a word, they can look it up. I do. (f) I did not give you ones, twos, or threes. (g) I was only trying to say that your mistakes distract from your work which, for the most part, is good. There is a compliment in there if you look hard enough.

Guy - January 24, 2004 - Report this comment

For help with the apostrophe you should consult two of Phil Alexander's parodies right on this site. They provide excellent lessons in their usage:

http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thebeatles457.shtml

http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/mariasoundofmusic0.shtml

BTW - Is the grammer beat up on this writer really necessary?

Mari D - January 24, 2004 - Report this comment

Laurence -- I like this one. It must have been tough to rhyme all of those names with the "ways." But I'm anal, so I agree with Grammar Cop; errors can detract from the writing itself. And you do get too intense sometimes with your criticism. You probably offended him at some point. Guy -- You're absolutely right about Phil's apostrophe parodies. They rock!

Laurence Dunne - January 25, 2004 - Report this comment

I have gone through this parody yet again, and I cannot find a single misused apostrophe. An apostrophe is used to indicate possession or a missing letter, right? Every instance in which I used one above falls into one of these categories. Am I missing something?

Laurence Dunne - January 26, 2004 - Report this comment

Actually, I have found one that was inappropriate. "Braid's" should have read "braids". Oh, and I don't call other people insulting names on their work. Ever.

John Jenkins - January 26, 2004 - Report this comment

I like to think that I have high standards, but apparently mine are not as high as Sloatead's. A lot of good lines and all 5s from me.

Genevieve - July 26, 2004 - Report this comment

Who cares about grammar? This parody was great! Did very well with matching the pace and rhyming of the original.

The REAL Grammer Cop - April 12, 2005 - Report this comment

There's nothing wrong with the grammar in this parody--it's just that this socialist-atheist wanted to attack you for something, which adds some poignency to the parody, I think. Your apostrophes are all correct, and the spelling of "yamakah" makes sense, since most people don't speak Yiddish. For those interested in grammar, you can visit my web sites! http://www.lionreport.com/index.php?catid=3&blogid=1 http://www.thelionhearted.org/grammer_cop/grammer_cop.htm

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Song Parodies -> Fifty Things France Bans In Public

"Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover"

Simon and Garfunkel

"Fifty Things France Bans In Public"

Laurence Dunne

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