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Song Parodies -> "Aunt Willow's Escalade"

Original Song Title:

"Longfellow Serenade"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Neil Diamond

Parody Song Title:

"Aunt Willow's Escalade"

Parody Written by:

Warren Baker

The Lyrics

An Escalade is a luxury SUV from Cadillac.
'Aunt' should be pronounced 'awnt'.
Aunt Willow’s Escalade
Girl was a force unchained
For she was a driver
And she drove a screamer
From slowness she abstained

And on her drives she’d belt out the songs of Kiss
Lost in a metal bliss
Though she was ninety
And hair was spiky

“Drive.”
Said old lady, “Drive.”
Cops would chase and
She would flee

She sang “Love Gun”
She would quote John Donne
She would say
“No tolls for thee.”

Her speeds would climb and reach
Upwards of one-oh-eight
She’d speed through narrow streets
Made her false teeth shake

On rides through sunny days
Her eyes would glint and play
That blur on road you viewed was
Aunt Willow’s Escalade

Aunt Willow’s Escalade
Once was a dull old maid
In youth was a dainty
A prude and a knitter
And then one night she strayed

And SUV, she found on a showroom floor
Red hewn with flames on doors
Then she was humbled
As engine rumbled

Ride
An old lady’s ride
She would often
Drive in nude

Her face stayed calm
Like she was embalmed
Speed of sound she
Oft subdued

She'd climb the roads unkind
Up on the mountain trails
And weaved through elder pines
While she filed her nails

She’d smile for miles and miles
Lost in the forest's shade
Wheel rims would spin on cue on
Aunt Willow’s Escalade

She was one of kind
Blue haired with youthful light
At age of ninety-nine
She would not sit tight

When hundred came they say
She rose to pearly gate
And her ride did too, my
Aunt Willow’s Escalade

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User Comments

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Lifeliver - July 10, 2013 - Report this comment
Imaginative adaptation of this fine singer-songwriter. Based on someone you knew? Didn't know this one, but found it - not one of his best, I think. I wonder what 'Longfellow' refers to? Making up endless verses in the middle of the night?
WarrenB - July 10, 2013 - Report this comment
Who knows what Neil was inhaling that day. I know the song was used in the soundtrack to Jonathan Livingston Seagull, a movie adaptation of Richard Bach's novel. Just another catchy song from a movie I've never wanted to see.
And sadly, I don't know anyone like Aunt Willow, but I wish I did. We all need to know an Aunt Willow.
Patrick - July 11, 2013 - Report this comment
Might she have been from Pasadena? Clever use of a somewhat obscure original song. I can picture her speeding through the streets with pedestrians jumping out of her way. Just trying not to imagine her nude behind the wheel (oops, I made a pun).
WarrenB - July 11, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks Patrick. Sorry I can't remove that visual from your mind's eye. Perhaps if you think of something else. Perhaps Richard Nixon in a 2-piece playing the saxophone.
You're welcome.

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