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Song Parodies -> "Gulpin' Of Drinks"

Original Song Title:

"Sultans Of Swing"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Dire Straits

Parody Song Title:

"Gulpin' Of Drinks"

Parody Written by:

Leough

The Lyrics

OS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRIiyCWRGTo
You've got a liver like a shark
And the zanies all remark, "It's Beam time"
Mouth is a-quiver, you stop and behold heavy drinks
The clan is growing tipsy, some'll go blind
They'll reel all night till you fear they're rude and stink

Well now you'd fetch a bite, but you don't see food getting tasted
Rummies spin out and complain, you jeer the lads so plowed
Some just mixin' and others wasted
Robust, the storm, a growing black cloud
Wayward clowns loud, wayward clowns proud, luncheon crowd

You're decked out in your cords, you won't draw awards
But with prickly itchin', the buzzin' taunts to make you try a drink
At an old nicked bar a tallish can gets poured
Then you ditch your cumbersome plight to sway and slink

A hairy rustic finds that his cousin's date's obscene
He spots the playtime mob, he's viewing brawl-fights
He's afraid his raunchy paunch hides many kinks
Craving a butt, guy stays tight
With the gulpin'
With the gulpin' of drinks

And some rowdies conjoin, their drooling astounds the performers
Drunkards stressed from the breast-hounds' nagging, as the last chords jolt
They're so in demand, bouts stemming strumpets' straying hands
Dim-brained sluts wake all noddin' dolts
And the gulpin'
Yeah, the gulpin' a-slakes Leough (Keough)

- - - - -

Then a last request pipes up in a gripin' tone
And peasants laugh just as the fine belles shrink
"Goodnight! Clowns, it's time! Do go home!"
And you break a glass with one bored wink
Regard the gulpin'
Regard the gulpin' of drinks

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 1
 
 3   1
 2
 1
 
 4   2
 1
 1
 
 5   6
 6
 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Timmy1000 - May 19, 2016 - Report this comment
Let's see one 5 for the outstanding pace and rhyme, one 5 for the great story and one 5 for using one of the all time great songs for this write = 5 5 5
Patrick - May 19, 2016 - Report this comment
It seems Beam brings out the best in some writers. As good a description of the ravages of alcohol as I can recall. Not familiar with the original song, so I played the karaoke version over your lyrics. Seems to be a very fitting melody. Clever lyrics. Stemming strumpets straying hands. My high school English teacher would have called that alliteration, then said I shouldn't be listening to such things. Always glad to see you on the day's list.
Leough - May 19, 2016 - Report this comment
Thanks Timmy and Patrick!
Patrick, funny you should notice the alliteration. Several years ago I posted a parody of Lily, Rosemary and The Jack Of Hearts. In the comments to that, Warren Baker challenged me to write a parody of Beowulf. After writing a rough draft of the prologue, I did a little research and found out that I was not addressing one of the key elements of Beowulf, which is its alliteration scheme. It was at that point I came to my senses and discontinued the project. Oddly enough, I was going to call it "Leogulp," so I guess you could say today's parody was a greatly abbreviated version of what I'd started to write.
Patrick - May 24, 2016 - Report this comment
I once attended a recitation of Beowulf by a bard who accompanied himself on a recreated Viking lyre. It lasted well over an hour. Way too long for AIR. Oh well. "Tonight Is What It Means To Be Young". Which itself is way too long. Though the original was written in two days.

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