Yeah, breaker oh-four, this here's the Clobber Truck.
You gonna campaign with me, Big John, come on?

Ah, yeah, oh-four, Big John, for sure, for sure.
By golly, it's clean clear to Boston. Come on.

Yeah, that's a big oh-four there, Big John.
Yeah, we definitely don't got Al Gore, good buddy.
Mercy sakes alive, it looks like we got us a con boy!

It was the dark of the Moon, seventeenth of June
and those lying White House dogs
head-over-feet with their campaign funds
sayin', "Gimme," writin' blogs.
They were loaded for bear on Eye-Nine-Five
'bout a mile out o' D.C. town.
I said, "Big John, this here's your day of luck
and I'm about to put the hammer down."

'Cause Bush is a little con boy, lying every night.
Yeah, Bush is a little con boy. Ain't he just way too far right?
Come on and beat this con boy. Ain't gonna let him get away!
We're gonna smash this suckin' con boy 'cross the U.S.A.!
Con boy!

Ah, breaker, Big John, this here's the Truck,
and you wanna smack down on them blogs?
Ah, yeah, oh-four, 'bout five speeches or so.
Truth-dodgers, their lies is gettin' IN-tense up here.

By the time we got to Convention town
we had a billion bucks in all.
But there's a dirty trick givin' lots o' grief
from the elephants wall-to-wall.
Yeah, them 'phants as thick as bugs on a bumper.
They're even tellin' lies on the air.
I says, "Callin' all Dems, let's ambush them.
We about to give Bush a scare!"

'Cause Bush is a little con boy, lying every night.
Yeah, Bush is a little con boy. Ain't he just way too far right?
Come on and beat this con boy. Ain't gonna let him get away!
We're gonna smash this suckin' con boy 'cross the U.S.A.!
Con boy!

Ah, you wanna give me a five-rating on this parody, Big John?
(John Kerry: Ah, negatory, Clobber Truck, the race is still too close.)
(James Carville: And them blogs is startin' to close up my sinuses.
Mercy sakes, we better back 'em off another ten.)

Well, we rolled up Interstate 85
and John Edwards lifted our sails.
We ripped through all Bush's policies
and showed how every one of 'em fails.
By the time we got to the dee-bates
them 'phants was a-gettin' smart.
They'd brought in some reinforcements
from the Texas Air National Guard.
There's talk about Iraq and jobs and other sordid lies.
Yeah, them chicken-hawks was full of crap
and still our nation cries.
Well, we shot the wad, we went for broke
with a thousand truth-squad ads
and 11 well-groomed friends of Jesse
who helped us beat Georgie's dad.

(Carville: Uh, yeah, Clobber Truck, this here's Bushbuster!)
Yeah, oh-four, Bushbuster. Listen, you wanna put the Rainbow Coalition
to workin' on gettin' out the vote in Florida?
Yeah, it could be dynamite, and we need all the help we can get!

Well, we laid a strip for the voting booth.
At last, the finish line.
Gonna sock it to those Repubs who wanna put
Reagan on FDR's dime!
I says, "Big John, you're the President-elect.
You can save America's soul!"
And we crashed on through like in '92!
I said, "Let them voters roll! Oh-four!"

'Cause Bush is a little con boy, lying every night.
Yeah, Bush is a little con boy. Ain't he just way too far right?
Come on and beat this con boy. Ain't gonna let him get away!
We're gonna smash this suckin' con boy 'cross the U.S.A!
Con boy!

Ah, oh-four, Big John, what's your 20? January?
(Kerry: Well, that is Inauguration Day in D.C., for sure.)
Well, mercy sakes, good buddy, we got it turned around in there,
so keep the bugs off your glass and the 'phants off your... tail.
They couldn't blame you for a flip-flop.
This here's the Clobber Truck on your side. We gone. Bye-bye.