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Song Parodies -> "Uneasy Writer"

Original Song Title:

"Uneasy Rider"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Charlie Daniels Band

Parody Song Title:

"Uneasy Writer"

Parody Written by:

Matthias

The Lyrics

DKTOS? Here's the Youtube video (as crappy as it may be): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEDoeX7lTS0
I was fooling around with my PC
When a man named Jack said, "Uneasy
Rider is the hardest song out there, Duncha know"

Cause I'm not one to back down from a fight
I've done other hits they don't dare to write
So I thought that I could blow through this like a pro

Well, The song was long, the rhyme scheme bites
Pretty sure this tune would take me a few nights
So I just bought me a cup from Starbucks next door

I chugged the hot drink and burnt my tongue
At least my song was already sung
But that coffee hurt a lot and I cussed and swore

Well, I took a break to recover from that
Went back to PC to discover my cat
Had an escapade with my laptop and it was shot

That was one thing I didn't want to see
It meant I couldn't work on my parody
I just swore again and swift-kicked my cat, Scott

I called up the Best Buy down the road a ways
"Cept the phone lines were uber busy today
Guess, I could have just drove there, but that'd be too easy so

I crashed in some college's computer lab
Little did I know that's where freshmen grab
Each other, giving me a free porn star show

I didn't want to stare but it was kinda hard
Just like other things, that's when the guard
Burst in shouting, "Git yer hands up and press against the wall!!!"

"What's all the hubbub?" I asked the guy
"Ninja fight with bread" was his reply
I had no idea what he meant, I was still appalled

That's when the man threw cuffs on both the kids
Yelled, "Put your clothes on, the law forbids
Me to take in naked teens since that time last week"

When guard hauled them out the door, I began to pun
When I saw green blast from a laser gun
Normally I'd be shocked, scared, and maybe even freak

But of all the things that happened tonight
An alien invasion seemed, somewhat right
That's when I saw green men, a huge, whole army

Laser guns were all zapping, and I felt kinda sick
Cause if I got shot my puns might not be so slick
I didn't even care "bout my life, or that blown up RV

They all had a voice that sounded like Cher
The biggest one said, "Bring us to leader!"
I said, "Sorry folks, that guy's a thorough oblivious man"

Well, they giggled and said "Yeah right"
I said, "It's true, it's not worth the fight"
So all they took off to find a much better spot of land

Just as that Land Rover flew away from me
I realized that I only got up to word three
So off to find yet another computer, I gone and went

I finally decided to hit up that Best Buy
But along the way, truck was jacked by guys
Leaving me alone with just a dollar and fifty-cents

Yelled out, "Come back you friggen jerk, ghetto, hoods!"
When twenty more emerged from within the woods
Holding weapons that were sure to do me harm

Well, I took off fast away from thugs
Passing crack heads selling some drugs
When a buckshot went and almost hit my arm

When I finally ran into the City Hall
To make sure that I won't get into a stupid brawl
When I bumped into an ex-girlfriend of mine

Her name was Kate, and she still looked hot
With full body tattoos, and breath that had a smell of rot
Oh, and did I mention that she was now a street mime

Then she bear hugged me, and dandruff fell down
"How yeh doing Stove, haven't seen yeh "round"
I leapt back and told her that I was now a Parodist

Well, she looked at me and said, "A what?"
I said, "Like Weird Al, I'm that kind of nut"
She said, "That's pretty hot", she leaped on me and we kissed

Normally this would have been kinda nice
It's a shame this gal's hair was jam-full of lice
"Gotta go" I gasped with a burst of speed ran away

The punks were gone, but so was my truck
So I hobbled home, feeling out of luck
Until I stopped at that local Comp USA

Well, I found computer to replace the last
So I head back home, but my mind surpassed
I was loading up Word, and RhymeZone to start my spoof

Ha, Ha, Well As I had it all loaded, with the music playing
I heard a shattered glass window, and in study I'm praying
Cause I heard Japanese and the smell of bread from roof

I grabbed laptop, called the cops, start screaming
"A group of ninjas guys in living room are stealing!
Can you send some cops over here to rescue me?!"

Well, the boss ninja guy was pure jerkwad
Cause in mere seconds I was seeing God
"Uneasy Rider" I guess Can't be parodied
This is a work of fiction, these events did not actually occur, if they were to occur, I would have to ask you to drop the Vodka bottle and step away...

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   19
 19
 19
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jack Wilson - January 01, 2007 - Report this comment
Awesome! 555
AFW - January 01, 2007 - Report this comment
Far out and funny story...and extra credit for this extra long song ..upper fives
PMS - January 01, 2007 - Report this comment
You made this LOOK easy. 555
Below Average Dave - January 01, 2007 - Report this comment
Challenges bring out the best in writers. . .555
Red Ant - January 01, 2007 - Report this comment
Wow, you have climbed Everest, Matthias. This was very good, and having to change the story/topic around so much is inevitable when making such an incredibly long parody. I was kinda hoping you'd stick a bit closer to the highly irregular syllable counts of TOS (there are a few lines in here as much a five syllables off), but I reckon that would make it harder to follow, so you did good. Actually, minor quibbles aside, you did great, and also nailed the rhyme scheme. 555.
alvin rhodes - January 02, 2007 - Report this comment
great job on a tough song....very angst-ridden
Ravyn Rant - January 02, 2007 - Report this comment
Wow! Impressive - and really funny. 555
Johnny D - April 04, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) YeeeeeeeeHAWWW!!!! ;-)
Wolverine - April 04, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC-U) Just another day in the life of Matthias. 555 for a great CDB parody.
Agrimorfee - April 05, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3) Wow, sorry I missed this the first time around! On a par with "Albuquerque" for its sheer non-sequiturial shaggy-doggedness. :)
bobpiecheese - April 06, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3-U) Annoyingly I DKTOS, so for some reason I sang to a tune similiar to 'A Boy Named Sue'. It worked, and that was HELL FUNNY! Bread Ninjas! w00t!
Michael McVey - April 09, 2007 - Report this comment
Maybe you should try the sequel, you know, the one about the gay bar....
Red Ant - April 11, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3-U) See above, great to revisit this one.
Max Power - February 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Whoa
Jeff Reuben - February 09, 2008 - Report this comment
Nice job, but this song is simply too short for SOTM :) Obviously just kidding, this was a nice rant about writing a song for one of the tougher OS's.
Agrimorfee - February 15, 2008 - Report this comment
(Wildcard) Forgot about this completely, even having voted as seen above. You deserve high marks for this one.
bobpiecheese - February 15, 2008 - Report this comment
(WILD) Hey, I remember this one! Still very well done, and it still has ninjas ;)
Michael McVey - February 19, 2008 - Report this comment
Previous comment, plus this one was quite funny. I remember it from the last contest.
Invisible Boy - February 27, 2008 - Report this comment
An epic bad day ,Matthias. If this was made into a movie it would have to be a trilogy. Great job.
Peter Andersson - March 06, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTY - To echo my ex-girlfriends favorite comment; it's too long... :-)
stuart mcarthur - March 07, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTY) well I have to admit that every time I've revealed that I'm a parodist, no girl has ever leapt on me and kissed me, but maybe Americans are different - and wow, having a cat called Scott was a lucky break, rhyme-wise, Matty ;-) - this is what you call a marathon effort and entertaining throughout, mate :-) - 555
McKludge - March 30, 2008 - Report this comment
So that's the name of this song. Interesting rambling story.
Mikey Squirrel - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTY- I love that in the midst of writing a parody about trying to write a parody, you end up writing the parody itself. Yea, I got confused just writing that. Anyways, very funny and nice job on a tough OS.
Peregrin - July 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Matt, that was fantastic.

Got here late as you no doubt see
And I found a parody destined to be
One that lives long in my mind forevermore... :)

Great work on a great OS!

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