I was fooling around with my PC
When a man named Jack said, "Uneasy
Rider is the hardest song out there, Duncha know"

Cause I'm not one to back down from a fight
I've done other hits they don't dare to write
So I thought that I could blow through this like a pro

Well, The song was long, the rhyme scheme bites
Pretty sure this tune would take me a few nights
So I just bought me a cup from Starbucks next door

I chugged the hot drink and burnt my tongue
At least my song was already sung
But that coffee hurt a lot and I cussed and swore

Well, I took a break to recover from that
Went back to PC to discover my cat
Had an escapade with my laptop and it was shot

That was one thing I didn't want to see
It meant I couldn't work on my parody
I just swore again and swift-kicked my cat, Scott

I called up the Best Buy down the road a ways
"Cept the phone lines were uber busy today
Guess, I could have just drove there, but that'd be too easy so

I crashed in some college's computer lab
Little did I know that's where freshmen grab
Each other, giving me a free porn star show

I didn't want to stare but it was kinda hard
Just like other things, that's when the guard
Burst in shouting, "Git yer hands up and press against the wall!!!"

"What's all the hubbub?" I asked the guy
"Ninja fight with bread" was his reply
I had no idea what he meant, I was still appalled

That's when the man threw cuffs on both the kids
Yelled, "Put your clothes on, the law forbids
Me to take in naked teens since that time last week"

When guard hauled them out the door, I began to pun
When I saw green blast from a laser gun
Normally I'd be shocked, scared, and maybe even freak

But of all the things that happened tonight
An alien invasion seemed, somewhat right
That's when I saw green men, a huge, whole army

Laser guns were all zapping, and I felt kinda sick
Cause if I got shot my puns might not be so slick
I didn't even care "bout my life, or that blown up RV

They all had a voice that sounded like Cher
The biggest one said, "Bring us to leader!"
I said, "Sorry folks, that guy's a thorough oblivious man"

Well, they giggled and said "Yeah right"
I said, "It's true, it's not worth the fight"
So all they took off to find a much better spot of land

Just as that Land Rover flew away from me
I realized that I only got up to word three
So off to find yet another computer, I gone and went

I finally decided to hit up that Best Buy
But along the way, truck was jacked by guys
Leaving me alone with just a dollar and fifty-cents

Yelled out, "Come back you friggen jerk, ghetto, hoods!"
When twenty more emerged from within the woods
Holding weapons that were sure to do me harm

Well, I took off fast away from thugs
Passing crack heads selling some drugs
When a buckshot went and almost hit my arm

When I finally ran into the City Hall
To make sure that I won't get into a stupid brawl
When I bumped into an ex-girlfriend of mine

Her name was Kate, and she still looked hot
With full body tattoos, and breath that had a smell of rot
Oh, and did I mention that she was now a street mime

Then she bear hugged me, and dandruff fell down
"How yeh doing Stove, haven't seen yeh "round"
I leapt back and told her that I was now a Parodist

Well, she looked at me and said, "A what?"
I said, "Like Weird Al, I'm that kind of nut"
She said, "That's pretty hot", she leaped on me and we kissed

Normally this would have been kinda nice
It's a shame this gal's hair was jam-full of lice
"Gotta go" I gasped with a burst of speed ran away

The punks were gone, but so was my truck
So I hobbled home, feeling out of luck
Until I stopped at that local Comp USA

Well, I found computer to replace the last
So I head back home, but my mind surpassed
I was loading up Word, and RhymeZone to start my spoof

Ha, Ha, Well As I had it all loaded, with the music playing
I heard a shattered glass window, and in study I'm praying
Cause I heard Japanese and the smell of bread from roof

I grabbed laptop, called the cops, start screaming
"A group of ninjas guys in living room are stealing!
Can you send some cops over here to rescue me?!"

Well, the boss ninja guy was pure jerkwad
Cause in mere seconds I was seeing God
"Uneasy Rider" I guess Can't be parodied