First you buy the cast the cast album,
and from that you’ll sing and hum.
Please then buy a film box set and
pirouette, pirouette, pirouette.

Then you should learn Jenny’s tap dance,
graduate to Bomba’s lap dance.
Everybody sing their own har-mon-nee-us underscore.
Being a jellicle fan!

Get dressed up down Covent Garden an’
Since getting tickets was quite hard an’
They’re hoping hard that you’ll pardon ‘am.
Have no fear. Touring Baden Baden an’,

if you’re there, you’d best avoid it.
An obscure tour, no one enjoyed it.
3,4,1,2,
in New London’s the man group blue.

So go buy the Deutsche album.
And from that you'll only hum.
Watch again your film box set and
pirouette, pirouette, pirouette.

Screw all the condemn'ry.
Don't cha love the mem'ry?

Brainwash your kids
from the cord umbellical
being a jellicle fan.