Try to remember
How much golden amber
You drank in bars with friendly fellows
Try to remember
How much golden amber
You sipped through suds
So warm and mellow
Try to remember
How much golden amber
You guzzled, drove home
And then ate some jello
Try to remember, but if you remember
Don't tell, oh..

Tell, oh...tell, oh...tell, oh.,...tell, oh

Try to remember,
The name of that waitress,
Who had long legs just like a willow
Try to remember
The name of that waitress,
You woke up with, on a motel pillow
Try to remember,
If her name was Heather,
Christine, Mary Ann, Eloise, or Jill, oh..
Try to remember, but if you remember
Be still oh..

Still,. oh....still, oh....still, oh,...still, oh

Don't tell,..oh....tell, oh,....tell,oh,...tell, oh

Since you're a member of this club, remember
The wives are too, their ears are hollow
Friends are all members of this club, remember
If someone blabs, divorce may follow
With whom you slumbered, not safe to remember
Indiscreet Septembers, in Pa. Apollo
Tell other members to please not remember
That doll, oh