-> "How Do You Solve Your Hunchback's Necrophilia?"
Original Song Title:
"How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?"
Parody Song Title:
"How Do You Solve Your Hunchback's Necrophilia?"
The Lyrics
~
[DR. FRANKENSTEIN]
My hunchback slave would find a grave
And filch the parts I need
But recently there’s parts a’miss—
I’m forced to now concede
My horny hunchback henchman
Has been handing out his seed
To pilfered parts he’s hoarding in the dungeon!
Of late he’s late to kiss my feet
His slavishness lacks zeal
He’s lackluster in lightning storms
He grunts they’ve “lost a’peel”
I hate to have to say it
But I’ve caught him copping feels
While stashing trunks of ‘junk’ deep in the dungeon!
[CRINGING MINION]
I’d like to say a word about his ‘thing’
Cadavers
make it
‘schwing’!
[DR. FRANKENSTEIN]
How do you solve a hunchback’s necrophilia?
How do you put his hassock-hamster down?
How do you slip a sex fiend more saltpeter*?
Ya’ doctor his Whopper™ while dosin’ his Double-Down™?
Many a time it seems I’m his ‘enabler’
Many a time I feel more like his pimp
So how do you help your slave
Creep flaccidly ‘bout the grave?
How do you calm your klepto-snatcher's ‘chimp’?
Oh, how do you solve a hunchback’s necrophilia?
How do you help your henching ‘Hef’ stay limp?
[IGOR]
When I’m robbing ‘neath the ooze
‘Little Igor’ gets enthused
And I go all Nat’ly Portman in Black Swan
I’m both Oedi’ *and* Elektra
When my ‘Victor’ vaunts its vector
[MINION #1]
That’s a chubby...
[MINION #2]
...in his grubby...
[IGOR]
...burlap THONG!
[MINIONS]
He’s the coiner of term ‘stiffs’
He’d out-Lechter any schitz
He will ‘bawdy’ any body on the scene
He’s attentive to each ‘bride’
He’s got coffin boffin’ pride
He’s a Mons’ter!
He’s a D-man!
[IGOR]
I’m a SHEEN!
[FRANKENSTEIN]
How do you solve a hunchback’s necrophilia?
How do you break a stallion in mid-thrash?
How do you cure this case of gonner-feel-up?
A-flick-o-the-scalpel?
A snick-o-the shears?
A GASH?
Thinkin’ it’s Igor’s turn to play The Donor
Thinkin’ a snip’ll break-up his ‘log jam’
And that’s how to make a prude
Of charnel pit randy rubes
“Ciao!” to this slave’s demented shaggin’ plans!
So, *that’s* how you solve a hunchback’s necrophilia!
Now that I’ve hewn this goon’s beam—
Igor’s...
...Anne!
~
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 5.0 | |
How Funny: | 5.0 | |
Overall Rating: | 5.0 | |
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Total Votes: | 10 |
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