I walk in the door of the orthodontist quack
And wait for hours eating extra-sugary snacks
He sits me in the chair and then the door is closed
He scratches stuff off my teeth and wipes it on my clothes
He tells me I must floss to rid myself of plaque
With that the dentist chair begins to recline back
His drill begins to spin and I quickly look away
It takes an hour to remove my tooth decay
I try to bite my lip, but nerves I seem to lack
The Novocain is kicking in after the fact
Maybe I should run away while my mouth is still intact
Is this punishment for the soda I had with my Big Mac?

Now it's time for X-rays, the mouth film I must chew
Isn't it a strange that the dentist leaves the room?
If I glow in bed tonight like a miniature sun
I'll know that's it's thanks to dental radiation!

When at last the torture ends, I ask for my money back
The dentist says "Screw you, just hand over your stack"
The receptionist is dressed in happy toothbrush clothes
And makes an appointment for one week from tomorrow
Hmm, hmm, hmm,...
They really wanna clean my, clean my plaque
Plaque from Sprite, plaque from rolls
They wanna have me floss every night
They really wanna clean my, clean my, clean my, clean my plaque
Yeah!