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Song Parodies -> "Cougar, Cougar"
Original Song Title:
"Sugar, Sugar"
Original Performer:
The Archies
Parody Song Title:
"Cougar, Cougar"
Parody Written by:
Rick Cormier
The Lyrics
This was one of those parodies that popped into my head and, I was so sure somebody else must have come up with it already, that I did a thorough internet search prior to finishing it. The only thing I found out there was a parody of the same name, right here on Amiright, by Mr. John A. Barry, one of the most prolific parodists on this site. Fortunately for me, his parody is about an actual cougar so, I hope he doesn't mind my posting one of the same name to the same song.
Cougar, ah horny granny
You're not eye-candy, girl
And I think you're stalking me
Horny, ah cougar, cougar
You're someone's Nana, girl
And I think you're hot for me
You staggered over slow
And plastered yourself onto me
(Plastered yourself onto me)
When you hugged me, girl
Your breasts touched just above my knee
(Boobs fell almost to my knees)
Oh, cougar, oh, horny granny
You're not eye-candy, girl
And I think you're wanting me
Cougar, ah tiny hiney
Where are your panties, girl?
Yeah, I think you're hot for me
I just can't believe
You're two weeks shy of eighty-three
(Hair and eyes, so soft and blue)
I just can't believe
How tight your claws are clutching me
(Pierced my wallet and came through)
Woah, woah, woah Cougar!
Pry this cougar off me, buddy!
(Sweet Jesus!)
Pry this cougar off and hurry!
(Won't you help me, Lord?)
(I like to kiss without my teeth!)
Hey, hey, hey!
Pry this cougar off me, oh yeah!
Pry this cougar off and hurry!
Pull this cougar off me, buddy!
(Sweet Jesus!)
(Want soured MILF and old cookies?)
Hey, hey, hey!
Pull this cougar off me, buddy!
Ah, Cougar, ah grabby granny
There's mould on your candy, girl
But, I think you're hot for me
Cougar, ah, ah, ah, horny honey
(I get a discount on all my drinks!)
You're someone's granny, girl
Yeah, I think you're hot for me
(Oh, don't worry about that, sweetie, we'll come back later to pick up your bicycle!)
(Mmmmm....you smell NICE !!!)
You're not eye-candy, girl
And I think you're stalking me
Horny, ah cougar, cougar
You're someone's Nana, girl
And I think you're hot for me
You staggered over slow
And plastered yourself onto me
(Plastered yourself onto me)
When you hugged me, girl
Your breasts touched just above my knee
(Boobs fell almost to my knees)
Oh, cougar, oh, horny granny
You're not eye-candy, girl
And I think you're wanting me
Cougar, ah tiny hiney
Where are your panties, girl?
Yeah, I think you're hot for me
I just can't believe
You're two weeks shy of eighty-three
(Hair and eyes, so soft and blue)
I just can't believe
How tight your claws are clutching me
(Pierced my wallet and came through)
Woah, woah, woah Cougar!
Pry this cougar off me, buddy!
(Sweet Jesus!)
Pry this cougar off and hurry!
(Won't you help me, Lord?)
(I like to kiss without my teeth!)
Hey, hey, hey!
Pry this cougar off me, oh yeah!
Pry this cougar off and hurry!
Pull this cougar off me, buddy!
(Sweet Jesus!)
(Want soured MILF and old cookies?)
Hey, hey, hey!
Pull this cougar off me, buddy!
Ah, Cougar, ah grabby granny
There's mould on your candy, girl
But, I think you're hot for me
Cougar, ah, ah, ah, horny honey
(I get a discount on all my drinks!)
You're someone's granny, girl
Yeah, I think you're hot for me
(Oh, don't worry about that, sweetie, we'll come back later to pick up your bicycle!)
(Mmmmm....you smell NICE !!!)
My recording of this parody can be found here: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=322836&songID=9164982
Your Vote & Comment Counts
The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 2 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 10 | 11 | 10 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
WOW! Off the wall freaking hilarious. Thanks! ;D
I thought cougars were attractive older women... Not fugly sexually offensive grandmothers
What Mathias said. But it was still funny, 555.
Thank you for reading this. Perhaps it would be better appreciated by listening to the recording on my SoundClick page at the link above.
LOL, well, maybe the meaning of cougars was a bit off--but it was friggin hilarious Rick. The recording made it that much more funny, I have to vote for this on the DT20. I don't get to see/hear new material by you very often, this was a special treat today!
Great job on spoofing this OS. I know who make great cougars: Madonna, Martha Stewart, Halle Berry, etc. I have a feeling I might turn into a future cougar someday since I'm older and sometimes get attracted to younger guys. Enjoyed this lots. 555!
According to the Urban Dictionary, a cougar is defined as: An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf...Great job on the recording and the lyrics!!!...555!!!
And I always thought cougars were large feline carnivores that lived on dry lands. Thanks for the education, Guys.
Hi Dave, I don't post much new these days but, had to put this one up here. I have done 3 new recordings in the past month and, put them on the FUMP and the MM Archives. Two of them are parodies I posted here 5 years ago but, just got around to recording and, this is the other one. I just heard about your run in with ASCAP last week. They SUCK! I applaud DJ Particle for her "Fair Use" song too.
Thanks to Leo for clearing things up for Matthias. Thanks for the comments too, Leo.
Thank you, Christie Marie M, I hope you're never like this cougar though! Thank you SOTM.
Wayne Rooney would approve. Come to think of it, so do I: A lot of the women I like are of cougar age.
Thanks Michael. How've you been?
Nothin' wrong with an older woman. =) 5's.
Believe me, I'm aware of your recordings, I follow them as a fan of your work. I vote for all your stuff on the DT20, you are an awesome recording artist, always have been one of the best in my opinion
Thanks Dave, I appreciate your support these past five years. I just recently began posting to the FUMP again. I had put a few songs up there a few years ago but, there didn't seem to be a lot of support from the core and auxiliary members there so, I stopped. With the 3 new recordings, I figured I'd give them another try.
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