Well I saw this sleigh
Falling out of the sky
It was packed with gifts
And one big guy
Oh, but what was pulling
Alone at the lead?
It looked like a
Cross-eyed red-nosed reindeer to me

It was a bug-eyed, half-blind
Flying cross-eyed red-nosed reindeer
A bug-eyed, half-blind
Flying cross-eyed red-nosed reindeer
A bug-eyed, half-blind
Flying cross-eyed red-nosed reindeer
Falling through the trees
(Cross-eyed reindeer?)

Well he crashed down to earth
Almost on top of me
I said Mr. Santa Claus
Your reindeer can not see
I hear him say Christmas sure is tough
My other deer left
They'd had enough!

They hate this bug-eyed, half-blind
Flying cross-eyed red-nosed reindeer
This bug-eyed, half-blind
Flying cross-eyed red-nosed reindeer
This bug-eyed, half-blind
Flying cross-eyed red-nosed reindeer
So they all left me
(Half-blind reindeer?)

I said Mr. Santa Claus
Your reindeer numbered nine
Isn't that how you could get those
Presents here on time
He said in past seasons
That had been the plan
But I guess nowadays
I'm a 'one reindeer man'

We leave the pole, chew my Skoal
Flying cross-eyed red-nosed reindeer
Nose that glows, heavy loads
Flying cross-eyed red-nosed reindeer
Kids leave cookies!
Flying cross-eyed red-nosed reindeer
Presents for the tree
(Bug-eyed reindeer?)

Well then he crawled from his sleigh
Yeah, and without a sound
Well he grabbed from his sack
A new cozy night gown
It was all wrapped up pretty
Would be Christmas soon
Course, I was going to sleep in
Till half-past noon

They lied or stole? Leave 'em coal
Flying cross-eyed red-nosed reindeer
Present load, Wrapped and bowed
Flying cross-eyed red-nosed reindeer
I like egg nog
Flying cross-eyed red-nosed reindeer
Don't let kiddies see
(Red-nosed reindeer?)

Well he checked out his sleigh
Embedded in the snow
With only one deer
It really goes slow
And when weighed down with gifts
Faster to walk instead
Saying next year at Christmas
We'll both just stay in bed

Horn solo

'Poor Kiddies!'