Oh! It's JCAHO time again, you best believe me,
Admin's got that crazy glazed look in their eye.
I can tell by the way they're holding meetings,
That it won't be long before its JCAHO time.

The scrutiny can make our institution stronger
Is what we tell ourselves and our staffs to believe;
But a thinking person cannot help but ponder
Why is it we're all so glad when JCAHO leaves?

Oh it's JCAHO time you'd not believe the
Tons of paper wasted as the memos fly;
As a nature lover I must say it grieves me
When I think of all the trees that had to die.

I just hope I don't sound like a big old whiner
Cuz I should have had them in place from the first,
But the next poor soul who says the words "shelf liner"
Will be exhorted to ingest one IN REVERSE!

Oh it's JCAHO time again; it would relieve me
If those folks could see the forest for the trees.
But the day this happens, man, you can believe me
Pigs will fly across the sky. And hell will freeze