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Song Parodies -> "Another Blond-Haired Dame"

Original Song Title:

"A Whiter Shade of Pale"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Procol Harum

Parody Song Title:

"Another Blond-Haired Dame"

Parody Written by:

LPG-Unit

The Lyrics

I actually composed this song back in 2014, when American Girl character Isabelle Palmer made her debut at the time. Some complained that their recent "Girl of the Year" releases lacked diversity as there hasn't been a modern character of colour apart from Marisol Luna, Jess McConnell, Kanani Akina and Sonali Matthews. And that's not to mention Molly McIntire being discontinued after 25 years despite protests from fans.
We've been to Copeland's rancho*
Her paintings sold for more
But the year was twenty-fourteen
On the web, there's leaks galore
Excitement's growing stronger
While the wall clock ticked away
When the doll showed up on ABC
"Hooray" turned into "Nay!"

She is that girl, a dancer
Isabelle, it was her name**
That her face, still a "classic"***
Yet another blond-haired dame

They're axing Moll; it's treason****
Caroline is garbed in pink*****
I was browsing through my catalogues
and then I grabbed a drink
There are lots of modern AGs
Whom my daughter really like
And despite that they're so gorgeous
Boy, this archival's what I gripe

She is that girl, a dancer
Isabelle, it was her name
That her face, still a "classic"
Yet another blond-haired dame
* Saige Copeland, Girl of the Year for 2013, whose equestrian interests intersect with her love for the arts.
** The "blond-haired dame in question is Isabelle Palmer, whose collection debuted in 2014.
*** I.e. the "Classic mold", so called as the first three AG dolls used the said face mold. Most of the characters the company has released tend to use either that or Josefina's.
**** Molly McIntire has been in their roster since the line's inception back in 1986. She has since been taken off much to the consternation of many.
***** While this has been more or less moot point as pink has been used for girls before, AG's overuse of pink was cringe-worthy for some, especially as it was inconsistent with some characters like Kit who hated the colour.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

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 4   1
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