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Song Parodies -> "Summer Whine"

Original Song Title:

"Summer Wine"

Original Performer:

Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazelwood

Parody Song Title:

"Summer Whine"

Parody Written by:

Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Deliciously naughty OS of seduction and betrayal, but by the woman, with man as victim. Yet, still G-rated. Haven't heard it? HQ OS video here, the best of several duets between Nancy and the husky-voiced cowboy singer/writer who wrote this as well as Sexy Sinatra's signature song, "These Boots Are Made For Walking", and others.


FG:
Raw; very weary: temp in range of 100s, swings
What bummer! Find- -ing smelly reruns TV brings

TT:
I tossed around to Fiddlegirl: some jingles, new
So long, that I was lonely; panged for lusty "do"
She said, "The silly, spurn; I'm ready: "twist of lime"
"I need a month or two: hammock time
"Ohh-oh-oh, fun: recline"

FG:
Mitt Romney's parries sent; arrange: dismiss the King?
By summer time, I'm leery: mud that campaigns fling   [1]
Took all of '12, you curs, to schlep your mass of slime
Won't you please give to us... *some* free time?
Ohhh-oh, dumb-free time

TT:
I eye beach bevy; tanned thighs/hips raise wooden peak
My tel'scope set up; shot: 300 line'ar feet
She dissed; abjured T. and his uncongenial spy'n'
And then she heaved at me: sour scummy brine   [P]
Ohh-oh-oh, Son, I'm blind!

FG:
Make merry; cherries popped; an angel's blissful thong:
That bum of mine: unpeeling maids, all season long
Shake off that syph' incurred, and yelp at cat's o' nine
Before I'll give to you some of mine
Mmm-mm, blubber, swine!

TT:
Sun-light: stoke up: storm; thunder; lightning fright'ning eyes   [2]
Cold's shivers spurned here; hurricane stats hit their highs   [3]
It took my shingled spars: this squall, so, squallor: mine   [4]
And live encavin'; poor; Thor's summer crime   [5]
Ohh-oh-oh, plumber time!

FG:
Tornadoes, 'fraid? Ok- da*n! Great Plains, US, will bring   [6]
My cellar hide-y--hole will save us from these stings
Slake off! A blizzard's "Brr's" would def' surpass this clime
I'm tired of livin' through (fry!) summertime

BOTH:
Oyy-vay, summer: whine!




[1] Yes, *both* sides have definitely crossed the line at times. Happy?

[P] Pacing Cops: Good thing that dictionaries allow the one-syl pronunciation of "sour", eh?

[2] Intense daytime heating of any humid area causes hot, moist air to rise, leading to thunderclouds and storms.
(Further meteorological detail available on request.)

[3] The North Atlantic hurricane season reaches a peak in late summer, roughly mid-August to the end of September or so. Sharpest spike, statistically, is right around September 10-15th. (Beware the Ides of Sep!)

[4] Using "spar" (strong wooden beam or pole) as supporting the roof structure and decking, which might be shingled. Worst hurricanes have taken off not just the covering (shingles or whatever) and decking, but the trusses or other structural supports as well.

[5] "Thor" -- Norse god of thunder, lightning, and storms, among other talents.
UPDATE: This parody was completed before Tropical Storm Isaac was recognized as a possible threat to Florida and the GOP Convention in Tampa. (It's like ESPN! ;)


[6] (Pronouncing "Ok-' as it actually is: the first syllable of "Oklahoma".
(No plugs of parodies of that OS -- FG wouldn't let TT.)
(Readers: "All hail FG!")
(FG: "Hail"? Oh, hail, no!" ;)

Those who live near the warm waters of the southern North Atlantic or the Gulf of Mexico are at risk for hurricanes. Farther inland, in the Central US, those warm, moist Gulf breezes and hot, dry breezes from the Desert Southwest and Mexico often collide with cool, dry air masses coming down from the interior of Canada, causing violent storms and tornadoes. This area, consisting mostly of Oklahoma, Kansas (remember Dorothy and Oz?), and Nebraska, is known informally as "Tornado Alley". There is a pretty good diagram of both geography and mechanism linked in the outro.

Tornadoes in the Alley tend to be more severe than in other areas, and the US has more tornadoes than any other country.

Alas, Fiddlegirl's brief furlough now ends, and she returns to complete her nine-month sentence in that no-security penitentiary known as The Public School System.

Nice, colored diagram of the areas and mechanics of Tornado Alley.

© 2012 Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail: tomm...@yahoo.com

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   11
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

AFW - August 24, 2012 - Report this comment
No words wasted in the fine telegraph style...remember, "Boots" but not this one...nice to see your team entry, again
Brock O'Brahma - August 24, 2012 - Report this comment
You two might have to take your heated exchanges to Hartford, Hereford and Hampshire where hurricanes hardly ever happen. Oh, you did already! ;>D... http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/myfairladylernerloewe16.shtml
Peregrin - August 24, 2012 - Report this comment
A tittilating tale of unrequited desires and weather reports. An interesting combination if ever I saw one :)
Derry - August 24, 2012 - Report this comment
Excellent topical (or should I say tropical) summation of this summer's weather with a fine story woven in. 555! Great pacing and rhyming!
2Eagle - August 24, 2012 - Report this comment
Yes, I remember that song from the Sixties. TV was just as bad then, too.
Tommy Turtle - August 24, 2012 - Report this comment
AFW: Kinda' thought you might like OS, bein' as you're a fan of cowboy stuff -- give it a listen. And thanks for v/c!

Brock O'Brahma: True, but the water off the British Isles is a bit chilly for us poikilotherms -- upsides and downsides to everything. Thanks, and "How kind of you to v/c/plug!" ;)

Peregrin: So, have you ever seen one? ;-D .... ok, real story: FG was as sick of the campaign stuff as TT, and we wanted to cover multiple asspects of summer anyway. Thanks for v/c!

Derry: Thank you!

2Eagle: Thanks.. I think. ;) ... not exactly sure what doth pleaseth thee, but always glad to hear your opinion. Thanks for read/v/c. And be glad that Burbank has only fires, mudslides, and earthquakes, instead of hurrricanes and tornadoes!
Meriadoc - August 24, 2012 - Report this comment
TT/FG: I love the OS and know it well; glad to see you do this one. Favorite stanza was FG's that began with 'make Merry' of course! I might admit to the cat of nine, but must declare myself innocent on the 'syph'. An excellent job by one and all!

Re: TT to 2E: Burbank's greatest threat is parking tickets...
Tommy Turtle - August 24, 2012 - Report this comment
Meriadoc: Sorry, but just *couldn't* capitalize your name in the verses twice in row, after having done so in last Friday's "Take A Chance On Sheep", esp. after also having shouted out in the intro to that one. (Translation: More money, please.-- j/k.)

Third or fourth ref to wielding the whip duly noted ;), and the intent of the verse was FG telling TT to clean the clap before trying to fill the F-hole, not that FG had incurred. Sorry that that wasn't clear.

LOL @ the real risk of Burbank! Thanks as always for read and comment.
Peregrin - August 25, 2012 - Report this comment
I have seen first hand lots of unrequited love...unfortunately. M&P have an as yet unreleased parody that is effectively an autobiographical: "Feeling Bold". We may release it soon now the subject has come up.

Tornadoes. YES! I have seen one, technically. In 1974 there was one that tore through my city, I saw it before the funnel formed, and I recall saying to my parents that it looked like a really bad storm (Brisbane gets some very impressive, and damaging, summer storms).

As far as tornado sizes go, I am sure it was an F-tiddler, but when you live in a place that doesn't get them, scary stuff. My heart really goes out when I see news from America of the destruction that tornadoes wreak.
Tommy Turtle @ Peregrin - August 25, 2012 - Report this comment
"....unrequited desires and weather reports. An interesting combination if ever I saw one :)"

The exact question was "So, have you ever before seen *this combination* of unrequited desires and weather reports?" Weather guy with crush on weather lady, mayhaps? ;) ... sorry the repartee wasn't clear, but having been zinged for prolixity... ;-D
Peregrin - August 25, 2012 - Report this comment
Maybe, if you added 'ed' to each of the weather references!
Brock O'Brahma - August 25, 2012 - Report this comment
TT: You asked Peregrin, "So, have you ever before seen *this combination* of unrequited desires and weather reports? Weather guy with crush on weather lady, mayhaps? ;) ..." Well here it is! Anchorman asks weathergirl if she wants to canoodle before the weather report. After her reaction, he feigns ignorance as to what canoodling means. This just happened so TT, you and Fiddlegirl are more prescient than you know. :) www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSqmlzaJM0Y
2Eagle - August 25, 2012 - Report this comment
I had in mind The Beverly Hillbillies, Petticoat Junction and Gilligan's Island - can't believe I watched those dumb shows. Thought Summerwine was rather romantic until I gave a good listen to those lyrics - the poor schlemazzel.
Andy Primus - August 25, 2012 - Report this comment
Nice wordplay & well matched to OS although, like AFW, I’d never heard of it. So glad that we don’t get tornadoes. We do get bad wind sometimes though (insert curry joke here). Worst I’ve seen was in the late 80’s when the south of England lost about 15,000,000 trees.
TJC - August 25, 2012 - Report this comment
Great goin' ewe tewe! Love the OS choice and breezy subject matter.

♪♫ She Snook'd his shingled spar, he hollered at the clim'
'Cause T's a sucker for.... mater'd rhyme
Oh, o-oh - mater'd rhyme... ♫♪
Peregrin - August 25, 2012 - Report this comment
Andy (re wind/curry): Can I assume that means you have been to Bradford then?
Tommy Turtle - August 25, 2012 - Report this comment
Brock O'Brahma: That's we, always in the avant garde ... and if you think that's prescient, check out TT telling people to buy gold and gold-mining stocks while gold was still below $1,000/oz. It's somewhere around these boards....
    True story: Male Anchor: "It's warm and wet in the city today. Let's check with weather girl Jen Jones -- is she warm and wet, too?" -- (didn't realize what he had said for a minute; don't think she was too happy about it.)

2Eagle: Indeed, the guy gets ripped off by seductress -- not uncommon these days, either. For a while, before roofies (Rohypnol™) were banned, hookers were rubbing the powder on their boobs, thus knocking the poor guy out, then stealing everything they had.

Andy Primus: I'd heard of that storm. You lot just get fog all year round, right? Thanks for v/c.

TJC: LOL @ "breezy"!

Peregrin: Curry is popular in many parts of the US, as immigrants from India open restaurants, but it's not confined to Indian. Chinese, Thai, Middle Eastern, and others use it. Turmeric is said to help relieve inflammation (arthritis, etc.) , which, if true, would be worth a bit of gas. ;-D

Anonymous down-voters without comment or reason: Ticked you off elsewhere, huh? Mature way to respond. Go ahead and do that to all 541 combined songs -- ChuckyG gets paid for the ad displays, and it's always nice to see one's own page views rise. Thanks for the visits.
Peregrin - August 26, 2012 - Report this comment
Thomas. Yep, I understand. Here too. But I am anticipating that Andy will be aware of the in joke. Time will tell.
Tommy Turtle @ Peregrin - August 26, 2012 - Report this comment
Isn't it terrible how Wikipedia can give away anyone's private jokes? ;-D
Peregrin - August 26, 2012 - Report this comment
True! However, the reason for my mentioning it pre-dates the award mentioned in Wiki by at least 30 years. And I cannot state that reason here!
Andy Primus - August 26, 2012 - Report this comment
Peregrin: Bradford is one of the only cities in England that I haven't been to but, yes, I know what you meant (although I'm quite surprised that an Aussie would know that!)

TT: only on the Tyne ;)
I bet you've got to look that one up (as well as Peregrin's "peck on the cheek" from See Sheila)

Curry restaurants are very popular all over the UK as well, which is great for me because I use one in particular at least once a fortnight. I live in a town of about 20,000 & we've got 4 to choose from. 2 of them have only recently opened up so the extra competition is great for the customers (now cheaper prices) but bad for the original 2 restaurants as their trade has dropped considerably. I don't understand the business mentality when it comes to doing that. There are about the same amount of customers as before, but now split between 4 restaurants instead of 2. The one that I mainly use is one of the originals, so I hope they can hang in there. I presume the new ones are prepared to not do very well for a few years in the hope of driving the older ones out of business.
Tommy Turtle - August 26, 2012 - Report this comment
Andy Primus: I can't read anyone's mind (drat!), but possibilities: The new ones may think their food is better than the existing ones. Or their service, atmosphere, etc. Or they may hope that the existing customers will start eating curry more frequently, from once a fortnight to once a sevennight. ;) -- esp. given more choices.
    It may end up that one or more will fail, but free enterprise, unlike poker, does not have to be what we geeks call a "zero-sum game". It's possible for more than one party to win. Growing population, growing economy -- unless, of course, Gov slows the growth with higher taxes, more -- n/m, that's a different soapbox. ;-D
Peregrin - August 27, 2012 - Report this comment
Andy: A few reasons: (1) Dad was born there (Ripley, Derbyshire). That probably doesn't count too much, he is 91 now and moved to Aus when he was 4.

(2) Since the early 70s I have been an avid fan of British football, and I guess over that period of time reading and watching, one gets a good sense of what's going on. Couple this with...

(3) Important to realise about the cultural influences Australians grew up with in the 60s and 70s. Little to no American influence in television, virtually all of the comedy and drama we got was UK-based. Similarly with music - although to a lesser extent.

This all links back to the ties with the Mother country. I guess that these things had a greater influence than was realised at the time. Along the way you get to learn little gems as to the real reason Bradford and curry are associated :)
Patrick - August 27, 2012 - Report this comment
My brother thinks there is a dome over Kansas City this summer. No sustained rain since early June. Some rain gets as close as Topeka (50 miles) but never reaches KC. Temperatures hit 100 in late June and never fell for next two months. Too hot for romance.
Tommy Turtle - August 27, 2012 - Report this comment
Patrick: No air conditioning? ... do it in a lake or river? ... anyway, glad you liked opening ref to "temps in 100s" from your next-state neighbor. Thanks for v/c.

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