You keep saying stop those crazy noises.
something you call foolish and childish play.
You've been correctin’ where you shouldn't have been correctin’,
Cause another TV show is on the way.

These Hands are made for fartin’, and that's just what they'll do
Cause one of these days these Hands are gonna fart all over you.

You keep grabbin’, when you oughta be squeezin'
you feed that piehole right in the middle of your face.
You’re getting’ fatter when you oughta be a slimmin’,
You’re Moby Dick in a swimsuit, what a disgrace.

These Hands are made for fartin’, and that's just what they'll do
Cause one of these days these Hands are gonna fart all over you.

You keep naggin’ when you should be quiet,
you take that Beano just to eliminate all your GAS.
Ha!
I just found me a brand new box of matches-- yeah
to light the methane fumes firing out your ass.

These Hands are made for fartin’, and that's just what they'll do
Cause one of these days these Hands are gonna fart all over you.

Are you ready Hands? Start Fartin’!