.

Be-cause a kitschy catch-phrase culture is what we've attained
The jangles of those jingles tend to inculcate our brains
First billboards, TV, FM—now un-blockable pop-ups
Soon 'product placement' in your shorts will try to sell you nuts!

Just—
Do It, Can You Hear Me Now, Got Milk, Tastes Great, Less Filling!
Listen and then sing along, Chiat-Day makes a killing
Cuckoo For Those Cocoa Puffs—the implication's chilling
Lovin' From The Oven, Have It Your Way, Think!, Less Filling!

Sub-lim-a-nim-a-nim-al, Sub-lim-a-lie!
Sub-lim-a-nim-a-nim-al, Sub-lim-a-lie!

No candy, soap, deodorant, toothpaste, car, or cologne
Could break the billion dollar mark if we weren't hypno-drones
So bleach your whites, pick Mikey's likes, you can't control that urge
We're 'Spam-churian Candidates', and all programmed to splurge!

Oh—
Where's The Beef, L'Eggo My Eggo, Please Don't Squeeze The Charmin!
Squealin' or appealin'—they're alarmin'ly disarmin'
CEO's, now HP knows, so rarely are Prince Charmin'
Think Outside The Bun, Rip Mix Burn, Please Don't Squeeze The Charmin!

Sub-lim-a-nim-a-nim-al, Sub-lim-a-lie!
Take-it–up-a-half-step, Key-change-is-nigh!

Those—
Jingles, slogans, catch-phrases—Ad agency re-doubts spew
Haunting hooks, precision planned and nuanced to re-route you
Quell those voices in my head? An exorcism rout's due
Screw it man, I'm In Good Hands and Won't—Leave—Home—With-out—You!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Slogan originators, in song order: Nike, Verizon Wireless, California Milk Processor Board, Miller Lite, General Mills, Pillsbury, Burger King, IBM, Miller Lite, Wendy's Restaurants, Kellogg's Eggo, Proctor & Gamble's Charmin, Taco Bell, Apple Computer, P & G's Charmin, Allstate Insurance, and, whew!, American Express

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I refurbished my Girl From Ipanema Parody (Earl From Jeep n' Beemer) based on kind suggestions from WannaBeAMustangJockey and includ it below:
.

Small se-dan and sprung so lovely
That Earl from Jeep n' Beemer is hawking
Designed for masses—
So middle-class it's
Bourge-ois!

I'm much more a Six-Series fellow
With swanky tastes who's groovin' mellow
Test drives are gasses,
This 'rocket' flashes
Aur'voir!

Ohhhh, but I want that car* badly!
Think he will throw in the cover?
Yes, I'll stop riding BART gladly
But each day when I ask for the key
He laughs that my credit score's "3"

Small and bland, cheeked-tongue and and stuf-fy
That Earl from Jeep n' Beemer keeps mocking
Now when I pass it's
For tire slashes
Tee Heeeee

~ musical interlude with sounds of frenzied tire slashing in background ~

Though my credit may be lacking
I'm first in class at "get-him-back"-ing
Those sounds are thrashes
Of teeth in gnashes
Fat-wa!

Ohhhh, I'll "own" Earl—and madly!
Soon, he'll be running for cover
Yes, he has scorned me and badly
Still each day when I ask for the key
He stares at my Taco Bell 'Tee'

Small and bland, cheeked-tongue and and stuf-fy
That Earl from Jeep n' Beemer I'm stalking
'Now sans his glasses
Can't see what splashes—
His Tea
he just doesn't seeeee
its Taco Bell me
with his quesadeeeee
on which I go 'oui'
and I'm forty-threeeee
lets fade this pupeeee
I'm sure you agreeee
...eee

~
*2006-7 BMW M6, est. selling price $95,753.00

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I also refurbished my Tom Dooley parody, Hang Down Your Head Mark Foley, correcting some timing issues, etc. and include it blow (heh, heh!):
.

Hang down your head, Mark—Fo-ley
Wang Clown, go zip your fly
Press made ya' Guaca—Fo-ley
For 'beeping' pager guys

Bangin' out Congress—e-mails
All in-you-end-o rife
Nary one sent to—fe-males
4th District's Barney Fife*!

Wang Hound, drawers shed, Mark—Fo-ley
Don't think you'll catch a bye
Speaker of House says—Slowly
He hopes you're gonna fry!

~ bridge (sung by Foley) ~
~
This time next ses-sion
Reckon I'll be gone
Flor-i-da's dis-owned me
(And my) "man-date's" been with-drawn
~

Wang Hound, drawers shed, Mark—Fo-ley
Too long turned a blind eye
You were the Right's star goalie
Now pages don't high five



~ bridge (sung by Foley) ~
~
Hun-gered for power
Thinkin' I was sly
Every lunch I ordered
Two six-inch Po' Boys on wry
~

(and now you'll..)
Hang down your head, Mark—Fo-ley
(Not) "head down and hang with fly"
Ca-reer is down the—'ho-ley'
No tears, you'll leave 'bone dry'

(be sure to)
Hang down your head, Mark—Fo-ley
(Not) "head down and hang with fly"
Dateline**™ awaits you—Fo-ley
Chat logs—they never die

Chat logs—they never die
Chat logs—they never die
Chat logs—they never lie

~~~~~~~~~

*If you got this far, you deserve a medal (or, even better, "A Break Today!")