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Song Parodies -> "Bump Stock"

Original Song Title:

"Woodstock"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Joni Mitchell

Parody Song Title:

"Bump Stock"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

Correction from yesterday's submission, which I did not see today.
BUMP STOCK

Well I came upon a child from school
He was sporting a broken limb
And I asked him “Was that from the gym?”
This he told me
Said I was there in my seventh grade
And they pulled the loud shooter siren
So we ducked and covered then but I was bloody

I’m a student, I feel older
I am caught in this bullet madness
But I can’t wait to vote them
Out of the congress

I saw Joni there beside me
But she would not see again
And I felt in me the pain of my stomach turning
And maybe they’ll make laws this year
Or maybe do the gun makers plan
Now I have one leg to stand
I thought school was for learning

I’m a student, I feel older
I am caught in this bullet madness
But I can’t wait to vote them
Out of the congress

By the time they banned those bump stocks
There were half a million dead
And every victim had bled all across the nation
And I dreamed I saw that old N.R.A.
And the shotguns they supply
Being regulated like
They do taxation

We are students, we’re emboldened
We are caught in the bullet madness
And we got to vote them all
Out of the congress

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.0
How Funny: 1.8
Overall Rating: 1.9

Total Votes: 27

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   1
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 3   1
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 4   1
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User Comments

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Pro-gun - March 27, 2018 - Report this comment
Stop blaming the actions of sick people on types of guns. Only a fnger can pull a trigger. The gun is simply a tool. And usually, another gun is required to kill the shooter. Btw, your stats are way off. These gunman attacks account for less than 1% of all shooting deaths in America. There are more people killed in Chicago on a regular basis than by mass shootings total per year!
Alexander's Rag Tag Band - March 27, 2018 - Report this comment
Years ago, someone I had met was shot and killed at work. Someone I knew better was shot in the same event, but survived. I didn't leave work or march.
@Pro-Gun - March 27, 2018 - Report this comment
"There are more people killed in Chicago on a regular basis than by mass shootings total per year!"...thereby nullifies your stance.
Patrick - March 27, 2018 - Report this comment
Bump stocks are a toy for wasting expensive ammunition. What do you mean by "ban"? They are not registered, so the feds don't know who has them. Maybe they could open up the registry and let owners put them on the machine gun rolls? Not likely. The purpose of the law is not to regulate an activity with a view to improving public safety. It is to create a new class of so-called "criminal" in order to make work for cops and lawyers. By the way, the right described in the Second Amendment is not subject to vote. Repealing the amendment would not change anything.
Pro-gun - March 27, 2018 - Report this comment
No, it doesn't. Chicago is full of gang violence. Again, PEOPLE, usng firearms to kill others and illegal arms at that. You can't punish responsible and sane law-abiding citizens who own firearms under the Second Amendment for the crimes of the mentally ill and the deranged gangbangers. You sound like you've never owned nor fired a legal firearm and that's your problem. Stop blaming the type of gun and the NRA. America was built with people owning and using guns. Taking them away only gives criminals, terrorists, and mentally ill psychos the edge. I have a right to defend myself, my family, my neighbors, and even my country with firearms. That Right shall not be infringed upon no matter what!
Jonathan Spurlock - March 27, 2018 - Report this comment
I respect your right to express your opinions. But I disagree strongly with your thesis, namely, that guns are the problem. They are not. Seldom has a gun killed or wounded any person without ammo and a trigger operator (that's the person who pulls the trigger, for those who couldn't figure it out). One rather simple solution is punish the criminal or the shooter! Why take away guns from those who are not guilty and still look the other way when criminals use guns? DO NOT tread on my Second Amendment rights.
@progun - March 28, 2018 - Report this comment
"You can't punish responsible and sane law-abiding citizens who own firearms under the Second Amendment for the crimes of the mentally ill and the deranged gangbangers." Well duh. All of you responsible and sane law-abiding citizens think all the talk about gun control is about YOU. I do not agree with former Judge Stevens to repeal the Second Amendment. Patrick is right, that would not change a thing.There needs to be a smart, logical addenda to it, or at least some clearly written laws and practices on a Federal level that make sense. But like many other issues, it will get shoved to state decisions, causing confusion and not solving anything.
Move on... - March 28, 2018 - Report this comment
^ hey idiot, what will stop gun violence? Nothing!!! Just like what will stop auto accidents? Sh*t happens, the world is full of evil people, the police are outnumbered and outgunned. Legislation & Confiscation solves nothing.
@moveon... - March 28, 2018 - Report this comment
so silly. Death is invevitable. Stupidity is unpreventable, because humans are infallible. Cars aren't confiscated--but legislation has helped prevent deaths from automobiles (cars don't kill people, after all...). Why can't legislation help *prevent* deaths from guns? (because guns don't kill people, after all...) I'm sure if you had a kid who got killed in the line of fire you would feel a little differently on the subject.
Stuart McArthur - March 28, 2018 - Report this comment
I saw an old lady in California defend the second amendment and her ownership of a gun. Straight-faced she said it was to protect herself from maniacs who can get guns. In Australia, over 23 years ago, after a mass shooting where 34 people got killed, we enacted a simple law asking gun-owners to hand in their guns before gun-ownership became illegal. We haven't had a single mass shooting in the 23 years since. And what's more, the govt hasn't stolen our land, we haven't all fallen hostage to gun-toting bad guys, and the skies haven't fallen in. People feel way more safe. Not way less safe. It's a no-brainer. The US is just like Australia culturally. The same would happen with you guys. Such a simple law to enact. Imagine no more mass shootings? Imagine no more school shootings? It's easy if you try.
Peregrin - March 28, 2018 - Report this comment
As Stuart said, I couldn't put it better. To put a really simple spin on the problem: it is clearly not working the way it is at present, why not try something different? Stuart, nice Lennon shout out, and there is more than a tad of irony, given the nature of his demise.
Matt - March 29, 2018 - Report this comment
Australia talking about American gun control? Laughable. This comes from citizens of a Nation that can't defend itself against a ballistic missile!!! So what if the idiots don't own guns. Their population is 10x less than the USA! They have no Second Amendment rights. Can't wait until China finishes the job Japan started in World War 2. Oz will be in flames. America already has stated that it won't waste military assets rescuing Australia in a world conflict. Their opinions matter not.
F' Oz - March 29, 2018 - Report this comment
Yeah, Australia also stole the Aborigines land and shot them for sport back in the day. Stole their children too up until the 1970s! What scumbags they are. So genocide is ok, but not firearm possession?
R. F. Laird - March 29, 2018 - Report this comment
Whoever owns the biggest stick is the winner.
Stuart McArthur - March 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Wow, way to veer off point, anonymouses! My pappy always told me, “When the strength of your point forces folk so far “off point” that they’re reduced to scrounging in deserted wastelands for dried-up morsels of unrelated argument, accept your victory graciously son, and move on.”

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