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Song Parodies -> "This Guy Is Made of Wood"

Original Song Title:

"I'm Into Something Good"

Original Performer:

Hermans' Hermits

Parody Song Title:

"This Guy Is Made of Wood"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

No Mike, this isn't about Al Gore. It's a lumbering tale of love.
Went on a date with a guy I know
A short Italian named Pinocchio
Told him I wasn't too bright, and he understood, Oh yeah
(But) something tells me this guy is made of wood
(Something tells me this guy is made of
Something tells me this guy is made of)

I touched his face, it felt like pine
Said he liked to shave using sandpaper "fine"
Ogling ev-e-ry tree in the neighborhood
(He got aroused by all the trees in the 'hood)
Something tells me this guy is made of wood
(Something tells me this guy is made of
Something tells me this guy is made of)

He's kinda stiff but he's the only guy
That when we're in bed, I ask to lie
You think I'm out of my gourd
We're at the beach and he's my surfboard

I got a splinter when I held his hand
I lit a smoke, he turned and ran
Slap some varnish on him and he's lookin' good
(A wax and varnish and he's lookin' good)
Something tells me this guy is made of wood
(Something tells me, don't want to knock on
Something tells me, don't want to knock on)

He broke my heart, he left me dry
All cause I squished a cricket nearby
A giant termite I saw, so I thought I should
(She saw a termite and she thought that she should)
Something tells me this guy is made of wood
(Something tells me this guy is made of
Something tells me this guy is made of)

Out of wood, oh yeah
(Something tells me this guy is made of
Something tells me this guy is made of)
Something tells me this guy is made of wood

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Guy - November 08, 2003 - Report this comment
This lady sounds like she 'nose' how to have a good time. Well done!
Lucas - November 08, 2003 - Report this comment
Jack Wilson - November 08, 2003 - Report this comment
LOL!!!!!!! All 5's great parody!!!
John Jenkins - November 08, 2003 - Report this comment
A lot of good lines - I wooden give you anything less than 5s.
Johnny D - November 08, 2003 - Report this comment
When I see a post from Ricky D
Ain't no doubt what I'm about to read
One of the best parodists in the neighborhood
Something tells me it will be something good !

5's for RD

Rick D - November 08, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks. Makes it worth the sleep I'm losing thinking these up. I have lines like " I'm so Disney, my head is spinnin', like a cesspool, it never ends......
Johnny D - November 08, 2003 - Report this comment
".....and it's Chuck G who's helping it spin....."
Smurf and Mr. Horse - November 08, 2003 - Report this comment
Nicely done on all sides -5's
The Great Karlando - November 08, 2003 - Report this comment
Man, this is great. And I HATE Pinnochio! 555
neminem - November 08, 2003 - Report this comment
Very good. Amusing that I also thought of Al Gore when I saw the title ;-).
Jeff B - November 08, 2003 - Report this comment
I thought it was going to be about viagra. Now you know how my mind works
Wild Man - November 09, 2003 - Report this comment
LOL, very good! Now that's how to work a theme!
Rick D - November 11, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks, Wild Man. I actually don't work themes. I beat them to pulp.
Peregrin - November 12, 2003 - Report this comment
Wood if I could have done this Rick! Well done.
Michael Pacholek - November 17, 2003 - Report this comment
Tree-mendous! - December 10, 2003 - Report this comment
Wonderful. In a knotty way.
Stray Pooch - February 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Glad you plugged this one, Rick. Funny stuff! I'm never "board" when I read your parodies . . .
Johnny D - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Restoring my previous 555 vote.
Question for Johnny D - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
i thought we had moved past all the revoting stuff. besides, it seems to me that by commenting that you are restoring your vote, you are more concerned with making sure that everyone knows what a great guy you are (maybe then they'll revote on your stuff?) than with restoring votes.

in other words, revote all you want, but why do you have to tell us about it?
Rick D - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I didn't ask the question, but I think I can answer it. Johnny is obviously into this site, (as am I) and likes to set an example. I am doing it by hitting the random button occasionally and reading and voting on old stuff. Johnny is revisiting past favorites. Many people contribute works, and that's as far as it goes. I'll take one Johnny, whose biggest fault is zeal over all those "drive-bys"
Answer for Rick D - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I have moved past all the revoting stuff, Rick. But that doesn't mean that, occasionally, from time to time, I won't choose to put back some votes here and there on parodies I like. I'm not planning on spending hours or days or weeks doing it, but from time to time I would like to do some, that's all.

As for why I decided to comment when I restored my votes, I want people to know that I care about their parodies, that I like their parodies, and that I think the parodies I choose to re-vote on deserve the renewed attention that a freshly-posted comment gives them in the "Latest Comment" section of Amiright.

Rick, I couldn't care less if anybody re-votes on my stuff. I thought I made that clear in my recent comments on "Ear Doctor" ..... my life "outside of Amiright" is so full of majorly serious stuff these days that votes on my parodies ultimately, in the overall scheme of things, mean nothing to me, compared to helping the loved ones in my life (my real "non-Amiright" life) who need my help these days.

Yes, Rick, I include comments with my re-votes to let people know that I am trying, I am making an effort, to be the "great guy" you suggest I want to promote myself as, I don't deny that at all.

But by "great guy", I mean someone who cares, and who invites others to follow his example by reinstating and reinforcing positive feedback for their friends' creative writing. And if my friends want to re-vote on my own parodies, they are welcome to. But my happiness depends on the happiness of my wife, my family, and my loved ones, Rick ---- it has nothing to do with votes or re-votes on my parodies, so I don't care if anybody re-votes on mine --- life is too short and there's too much suffering in the world for me to give a crap about my parody votes.

Peace? :-)

Johnny D
(RICK, FORGIVE ME!!) Johnny D - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick, ohhhhhh man, I just proved that I am a fallible, mistake-prone, hypersensitive dweeb who makes UNWARRANTED ASSUMPTIONS!

Please, Rick, please forgive me for assuming that "Question for Johnny D" came from you ....... my only defense is that when I saw "Question for Johnny D" appear on one of your parodies, combined with the discussion that you and I had over on "Ear Doctor" recently, I jumped to the conclusion that "Question for Johnny D" originated from you.

I now see that I was mistaken. I sincerely apologize ...... please forgive me, my friend. Thanks.
The REAL Questioner - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
rick didn't ask the question, johnny. i don't know what conversations you two have had about this topic before. i, a party outside of your circle of amiright friends, was just curious.

rick: i'm into the site, too. and i'm not saying that zeal is a fault. it is just funny to me that a comment is made. johnny kind of explained that. i guess it makes sense. but i've been going over backlogs and voting on old songs myself, sometimes even revoting, but the only time i comment is if i didn't comment before. because i don't feel the need to pat myself on the back for being a caring amiright friend. or whatever.
Johnny D - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Dear "The REAL Questioner" .... that's fine if you don't feel the need to pat yourself on the back for being a caring Amiright friend. That's all well and good.

But I explained, above, that I personally DO feel the need to "pat myself on the back" for being "a caring Amiright friend", for the reasons I described. I'd say that's all well and good, too, since the process by which I "pat myself on the back" for being "a caring Amiright friend" results in the parodies of the "Amiright friends" whose parodies I "care about" being publicized and promoted once again in "Latest Comments", which I feel they deserve, and which I intentionally bring about by "patting myself on the back" on parodies that I like enough to re-vote on.

. "The REAL Questioner" ..... you say you are into the site, too .... so why not use your real name in this present discussion here? Are you afraid that people might react negatively to you and/or your parodies if you do?

Please be assured, I for one do not take revenge on Amiright community members who offer me thoughtful criticism the way you are. If you feel more comfortable staying anonymous, I respect that, it's OK with me. But by staying anonymous in this present discussion, the points you seek to make inevitably lose a measure of credibility and sincerity, since you are hiding, whereas I am not.
Still Questioning - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
i really don't think i'm hiding as much as trying to get an honest reaction. i think we react to people differently if we already know who they are. perhaps i think that if i gave my "amiright" name, you'd sugar coat your answer, in an effort to maintain your "i'm the good guy" image, (to keep ME from being offended and retaliating) as i am someone who does vote and comment on your songs quite often, even if i'm not one of the "good ol' boys," or part of the "popular" crowd.
Johnny D - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Still Questioning --- You obviously know me quite well ..... but you've gotten my honest reaction here, above, already.

Here's more honesty from me: You are correct --- I do, always, intentionally strive to maintain a "good guy" image here on Amiright. Yes, I do, that is absolutely true. And I always strive not to offend people on Amiright --- we reap what we sow, my friend, we reap what we sow --- if I offend somebody, I cannot blame them for retaliating --- but why offend? I don't enjoy other people being offensive to me, so I choose to maintain the "Johnny D is a good guy" image you so aptly and correctly describe by striving NOT to offend other people.

There. How's that for honesty?

Still afraid I'll respond to you with unctuous insincerity & sweetness & light if you say who you are? I think we've come to an understanding. Tell us all who you really are, and I promise you --- publicly, here and now --- that you'll never receive any comment from me that is not 100% brutally honest and blunt, from this day forward.
Rick D - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny, you must have been typing your respose to who you thought was me at the same time I was trying to prevent you fron thinking so; the blurbs are right on top of each other. (But I use capitals most of the time.) So all is fine. If the truth be known here, I've been keeping an eye on your "restored votes" vs mine, and it is amusing me as a private joke to see yours stay neck and neck. But I've been fair, I'm also reading other old songs and voting. Another silly game on a site dedicated to silliness.
Adagio - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Putting two cents worth in, if revoting and commenting, like Johnny did, makes people feel good again about their parodies, it's worth it. Just seeing that Johnny took the time to go over mine made me smile and like my own parodies again. Thanks Johnny!
Rick D - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
That's worth more than two cents.
Johnny D - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick: Thanks, Highlander, that means a lot to ol' JD. I agree, everything about Amiright is a silly game, and I wouldn't have it any other way --- that silliness is why I stick around and goof it up with y'all ! And I, too, use the "Random" button to jump from random parody to random parody, voting and commenting as I see fit ... it's fun, I wish more folks would give it a try.

Adagio: You're welcome, Pat! I love your parodies.....gee whiz, I love all the parodies I've re-voted on --- that's why I bother to can never have too much love goin' around.....and I do NOT ask anybody for any "reciprocal" re-votes.....if I expected a re-vote in return, it wouldn't be love, it would be a mere business transaction....and to me, this site is about silliness AND love.
No More Questions - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
i am not drewster and i am not alvin. we can agree to disagree on this. let's move on.
Guy - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
That was kind of a low blow by 'Question for Johnny D' to indicate that JD would even think of a vote reciprocation. This thought has never even entered my mind until I saw it just a bit ago in print. I guess you'd have to really be thinking this way to even think that in the first place. I for one do not see this as what motivated JD. JD is simply not wired that way. There has been way too much hard feelings on the site where it comes to egos and votes. It just bothers me to see that some people on this site are still trying to make these things issues.

JD - Please vote - revote where it applies and write all the comments to your heart's content. You have earned that right on this site.
Arwen - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I just read this for the first time, Rick! Hilarious! 5s...=) On the note of the "drama," I will just say this. I love Johnny. He knows that I love Love LOVE him. But, as a person who has been (in the past, I'll believe him if he claims to be a reformed man..; )...) "reminded" to vote on his songs, or to "re-vote," I can see where someone MIGHT get the idea that he cares about votes more than he really does.
Johnny D - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm curious, "No More Questions" ...... now that I have answered your questions with bluntness, frankness, and honesty ...... you no longer have any reason to fear that I will sugar coat my responses if you tell me who you really are.

Since you say that you are someone who frequently reads, votes, and comments on my parodies, I consider you someone I am grateful to and would like to acknowledge in mutual openness and truth, without either of us hiding behind aliases --- especially since the honesty and completeness of my responses here have removed your stated reason for anonymity.

You said you are "a party outside of your (Johnny D's) circle of amiright friends" and you said you are "not one of the "good ol' boys," or part of the "popular" crowd". I am not asking you to "join" any "crowd" or "circle" that you don't want to "join". All I am asking is this........

.......what reason could you possibly have for continuing to maintain your anonymity now other than that you are afraid of the very same kind of negative reaction that you accused me of being afraid of when you said that you believe I would "....sugar coat your(my)answer, in an effort to maintain your "i'm the good guy" image, (to keep ME from being offended and retaliating)" ?

I'm not an ogre, "No More Questions". I've had numerous discussions, debates, and yes, even arguments with people on Amiright, and we didn't hide our identities from each other, because we knew our mutual respect and mutual civility would preclude any thought of "retaliation".

I look forward to learning who this person is that very thoughtfully and very courteously motivated me to look within myself and increase my self-understanding today.

Peace be with you!

Johnny D
Rick D - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Arwen, this is one of my favorites, and we've performed it. It got big laughs. I'm glad all this hoopla brought it back.
Johnny D - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Guy: Thanks, buddy. More hard feelings are exactly what Amiright does NOT need, you are right about that.

Arwen: Thank you, too, my Elven friend! Yes, I admit completely openly and honestly that I used to bug people, including you, to check and double-check their votes on my parodies ..... I used to do that A LOT, that is true!! But I gave that up a while back ... I am a "reformed man", as you so aptly put it! But I will NOT deny the truth of what I did ---- yes, I used to be very vote-conscious, sometimes to the point of obsession.....but no more.
Not a Question But a Comment - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
your refusal to let this go in spite of my regret for even bringing it up leads me to believe that you are a little more than curious, johnny. if my refusal to name myself means that i'm scared, in your eyes, then that is fine. nothing short of telling you who i am will convince you otherwise, and since i am not going to do that, we can just end the conversation.

Arwen - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny...regarding your "I'm not an ogre" comment...I really think you should go to our favorite thread on the MB...
Johnny D - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
"Not a Question But a Comment", if my refusal to let this go in spite of your regret for even bringing it up leads you to believe that I am a little more than curious, then you are wise indeed, because your belief is right-on-the-money: you are correct --- I am far, far more than curious about you, my friend. Love is letting-go of fear, and since you are not going to tell the Amiright community who you are, you have, sadly, chosen to hold onto your fear. I hope someday you choose love instead of fear. Peace be with you, my good and kind friend. Thank you for teaching me an important lesson today about my own fears. Anytime you want to talk, you can email me at "johnny_d_parodies", which is my email address at "" ..... Choose love, my friend, and go in peace.
Johnny D - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Arwen, I catch your drift! Does this mean somebody's going to post a little "Shrek" goof for me (I hope!!!) ?? Or are you referring to the widespread usage of comical, humorous aliases and "secret identities" over there (but not by me, as you know!) ? Well, I guess my "ogre" comment here is still technically accurate, since the MB is not part of, and my "ogre" comment specifically says "on Amiright" !! ;-D
Arwen - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny....I WAS going to post a LOVELY creation that I toiled over in MS Paint for a good little while...but I couldn't get it small enough to post! UGH!!!! I was so mad!
Ashkicksass - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Dammit! I actually work at work for one day, and miss all this!?! Ok, first off, Johnny, we all love you to pieces. So who cares what question person says? If you want to re-vote, then by all means, re-vote. (If you happen to re-vote on my parodies, I'd appreciate it if they're only 5's though.) Also, your replies to the question person were so calm! I wish I were as Zen-like as you are. I fight with people all the time on here. (Quite honestly, I think it's fun, but that's beside the point.) Anyway, I admire your calm in the face of someone who is clearly a Bastard. And not in the good way.

And Rick - OH MY HELL! This song is a riot! I am so glad that all of this happened, because who knows how long it would have taken the random button to find it otherwise? Excellent job here!
Mari D - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick told me about the drama on this page and I had to check it out. I am sick and am in need of amusement. This was very amusing! Mr. E, I'm not absolutely sure who you are but you seem to be allergic to capital letters. There are medications for that. Johnny may have been a bit promotional in the past but the bottom line is that he is a major supporter of those of us who contribute to the site and we appreciate it! And he writes kick-ass parodies! Oooh, does that sound like I'm trying to suck up? And wasn't there a parody somewhere near the top?
So Many Questions - August 20, 2004 - Report this comment
i am not sure i get the "mr. e" reference.
Rick D - August 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Mr. E = mystery
Question Answered - August 20, 2004 - Report this comment
another reason i will for sure never tell anyone who i really am is that i can not believe that i did not get that. and i would not want anyone to know that i missed something so obvious.
Paul Robinson - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow! What to do for an "Encore"? Well, I noticed from the "Comments" dates that this parody was posted two days before I started posting on the site and it was probably another week or so before I put up a comment on anybody else's work. So I probably DIDN'T VOTE or COMMENT originally on this one. So, having thoroughly prefaced this remark, here is my comment: "This wood have to be a most 'Oak-ie Doak-ie' effort, Rick. 5's." There...NOW, since I do not wish to REVOLT anyone, I will herein mention that this is not a RE-VOTE, but rather an original, first-time on this parody, fresh out-of-the-ballot spindle post. Now, I don't know if anyone mentioned this as a reason for making a comment upon re-voting, but I like to mention when I vote on an older work (Re-vote or not), especially one I like, in order to possibly BRING the work to the attention of others who may not have been around back when it was originally posted or who may have missed it back then. I have read a lot of really fine & funny stuff older stuff on this site because I caught a comment reference to it in the "Latest Comments" thread and checked out the piece. So I like to do it for BOTH the writer and potential reader's sake. And I appreciate others who take the time to do it also. Now if I thought a piece was mediocre I probably wouldn't bring attention to it with a late comment about it. It would depend on the situation, or if I even remembered it was an "Old" posting by the time I got down to the "Comments" area. Just giving my 2 cents + inflation opinion of this momentous issue of the moment. Mari D - sorry you are ailing - I prescribe the parody I wrote way, way back in, oh...December, I think, for Rick when he had the flu, which I think is a little better than the one I wrote for you about a week later. I won’t put the names up here, folks might think I was “self-promoting”. Perish forbid...But I do sincerely hope it is not too serious and that you are feeling better soon. If you can’t remember I could possibly be persuaded to mention the title, if needed. Of course, you may derive enough distraction and humor from this thread to make my suggestion superfluous...

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