I DON'T know what it is that makes you such a slob
I only know I wish you had a nicer job
coz when you return from
collecting hides
you never hang your bearskin on the peg outside
I always ask you to!
I only want a neat igloo

It doesn't matter where you go when you harpoon
you always smell of polar bear or caribou
remember what happened, when you emptied
your thermos and the floor melted into the sea
you can't expect me to
maintain an incomplete igloo

You knelt
down on one knee
and asked me to become your wife
gee I wish you'd mentioned then
these aspects of igloo life
coz listen honey
I don't tell you what to do or what to wear
as long as you're harpooning honey, I dont care
coz those Japanese like
to pay big bucks
by all means keep on tossing harpseals in their trucks
it's not a huge issue...
I said I only want a neat igloo

You sometimes snarl at me
and tell me I should lighten up
You try cleansing the igloo of
all traces of harpseal pup
so listen honey
I don't really care that you're not romant-ic
As long as once a year we go to Reykjav-ic
coz me and the penguins
we get on well
I've even gotten used to that whale blubber smell
now all I ask of you
is help maintain a clean igloo
y'know it's NOT like...I want a new skidoo!
I only want a neat igloo