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Song Parodies -> "Shoot... Speak"

Original Song Title:

"Toot Sweets"

Original Performer:

Cast of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Parody Song Title:

"Shoot... Speak"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

A little note on the proclivity some of our law enforcement officers to shoot first and ask questions later..

Don't risk stagnation of investigation
If questioning isn't your scene
If you lack direction, but on your inspection
A suspect is there to be seen
Before you inquire
Just take aim, and fire
The rest of it's simply routine...
Shoot... Speak!
Shoot... Speak!
Don't send an epistle, or whistle or shriek
Shoot... Speak!
Shoot... Speak!
That typical police technique

Shoot... Speak!
Shoot... Speak!
The way to ensure that the bad guy stays mute
Shoot... Speak!
Shoot... Speak!
Ask questions later.. now shoot.

No more frustration with interrogation
No writing reports for a week
No need for detection or real recollection
If he can be shot ere he'll speak

So cut that red tape
'Fore he can escape
For perfect patrolman technique
Shoot... Speak!
Shoot... Speak!
The proper procedure at last has been found
Shoot... Speak!
Shoot... Speak!
I suspect your suspect's been downed

-You're nicked, sonny
-But I'm innocent

The perfect objective
For any detective
To wrap up loose ends like a shot
It circumvents trouble
For any constable
Who cares if he's guilty or not?

No more mental strife
Well.. it's not *your* life
It's clearly the best counterpunch!

Shoot...(Bang!) Speak!
Shoot...(Bang!) Speak!
Shoot...(Bang!) Speak!
Shoot...(Bang!) Speak!

If he's got a knife
(Or has slept with your wife)
Or is totally out to lunch...

Shoot... Speak!
Shoot... Speak!
Just make sure you get it the right way around
Shoot... Speak!
Shoot... Speak!
Ensure you're not liable
And it's deniable
That unverifiable--(bang!) sound!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Arwen - January 31, 2005 - Report this comment of my favorite tunes, from one of my favorite childhood flicks, turns into one of my favorite parodies of the day! Excellent!
Johnny D - January 31, 2005 - Report this comment
WOW! Fantastically erotic SEXUAL PERVERSION!!! 555!!!
Kristof Robertson - February 01, 2005 - Report this comment
This is an example of platinum writing...bravo! 555

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