~

I was working as a scab late one night
(When pro writers walked, shows called ‘Am I Right’!)
Smirkin' Spaffster and The Turtle were pimping ‘Pies’
When suddenly—Dude, guys were high!

[CHORUS]
[They found my stash]
And it was Monster Hash!
[The songsters ‘flashed’]
Knocked ‘em flat on their ash
[Sar-caustic splash]
They lit up like John Tash!
[Lohan-ish lash]
Man it was Monster Hash!

In our scab’s phatte gLorry at iambic pace
Doobies drove our ditties (*there’s* ‘a-lit’ disgrace)
When Agri’s smokin’ pun-Jag fin’lly slowed
Guy meta-floored it on wry-unchecked Rhodes!

[They did the hash]
Those lids were Monster Hash!
[They’re hep-and-smashed]
It was a knave-bard thrash!
[Their writing’s wrash]
It un-buffered Phil’s cache!
[Cat felt detached]
Man it was Monster Hash!

The Hobbits were ‘halving’ fun
Michael showed Arwen his ‘puns’
Possessed included Airfarce,
PMS and Malcom

Ob-scenely schlockin’, Dee proposin’ ‘sex psalms’
Spaffster’s mad mood mellowed to a dot.calm
The Down-Under Duo, Stu and Kris, contrived
To sell writer’s bloc—as SPF five!

[They did the hash]
And it was Songster Thrash!
[El Cid-like stash]
It was a ‘rave-bard’ mash!
[They did the hash]
Though they were called ‘Write Trash’!
[Their tenses clashed]
‘Cause it was Monster Hash!

Floutin’ his scoffin’, Red Ant’s voice cleared maw
Seems he was troubled by points of law
He jacked Jenkin’s lid then rolled his eyes
And said, “Vhatever happened to let’s ‘de-crim-in-al-ize’?”

[It’s still banned hash]
Illegal Monster Hash!
[Black-market stash]
And just for brave bards brash!
[So save some cash]
And Rex lay off Johnny's stash
[Must we rehash]
Or with some Narcs you’ll clash!

Now everything’s cool, Crack’s a part of the plan
With Meth and ‘X’, all we’ll need’s a ‘straight’ man
Just kiddin’ Mac—'Ditty’s' all we ‘do’
When you net-skew wry lore tell them Barry s’hemped ewe

[Then you’ll abash]
Abash with sarco-slash
[A Monster Bash]
And write a Bo-Rap smash
[Then you can trash]
Politicos en masse
[And make a splash]
When you submit your bash

Oooooooo! Bash lewd! Bash lewd!

~