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Song Parodies -> "Rich Spocker!"

Original Song Title:

"Witch Doctor!"

Original Performer:

Alvin & The Chipmunks - David Seville

Parody Song Title:

"Rich Spocker!"

Parody Written by:

TJC

The Lyrics


Nouveau-octogenarian Leonard Nimoy, best known as 'Spock' these past 3+ decades, recently attended his *last* Star Trek convention and regales us with some unvarnished thoughts!
YouTube: Alvin & The Chipmunks' 'Witch Doctor'

I am the Rich Spocker who’s made bank on green ears
I am the Rich Spocker who’s milked each ‘Last Frontier’
Who else but *this* Spocker’s got cult conventioneers?!
They beg me...

“Mind-meld, Finger ‘V’,
Pon Farr, Lecture us on Logic!
Look stern, Neck pinch-pinch
Play Blindfolded chess in 3-D!”

“Seem smart, Sensor-scan,
Beam-Up, Medtate-in-Vulcan!
Put down Bones & Scott,
Live-Long-Prosper-all-in-Deadpan!”


Now I'm the Rich Spocker who’s turnin’ eight-one
Now I’m the Rich Spocker who’s saggin’ in the buns
So old that ‘Wrath of Kahn’s’ the status of my bum!
I’m through with...

Star Trek, *all* its Drek
Fat fans, clinging to their ‘Fleet years’
Lame ass - dialogue
Green skin, Enterprise, and those ears!

Kirk’s smirks, Re-make-makes
K-Fed’s kind of 'Federations'
Cling-ons (yes, *that* sort)
Warped cores, Playin’ Shatty’s straight man!

~

Now I’m old as Hef, but hell, he’s wiser and more cunning
Ironically, it’s *me* who wasn’t smart
While Hef was ‘phasing’ gals for years (and all of them were ‘stunning’)
I let myself become this Chartreuse Tart

~

I am the Rich Spocker who’s ‘5 Year Mission’s’ through
I’ve closed my Kitsch Locker - and bid you nerds adeiu
Thank God it’s *Quinto’s* turn, he’s Abram’s ‘Spock’―Woo Hoo!
Let him have...

Huge ears, Weird toupes
Shat Brats - (Chris Pine's a huge c_ck!)
Lame lines, Freakish fans
No sex―On-or-off-screen - for Spock!

‘Red-shirts', Memes, Cadets
Lens flares, Interspecies Kirk-boffs
Preachy platitudes
*NO SEX*― ON- OR OFF-SCREEN - FOR SPOCK!!

~
* Zachary Quinto, JJ Abrams' new 'Spock', debuted in 2009's reboot with Chris Pine playing Shatner's role as Kirk. Two Abrams' sequels are on deck, the first, Star Trek into Darkness, is due this coming May. As you may have heard, Abrams recently signed on to direct Disney/Lucas' Star Wars VII, with a 2015 release deemed likely.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - February 13, 2013 - Report this comment
Fascinating!
Onslaught - February 13, 2013 - Report this comment
Fascinating is a word I use for the unexpected, but I would say this is interesting... and funny as hell 555
Old Man Ribber - February 13, 2013 - Report this comment
TJC - Don't Spock until you're Spocken to. But that's none of my Vulcan business. Thanks for using one of my all-time favorite feel good silly songs. David Seville (Ross Bagdasarian) was a super-talented composer/keyboard player. Among other things, he wrote Rosemary Clooney's "Come On-a My House" and plays the manic harpsichord solo in the recording. The tune was based on an Armenian folksong, and indeed for Bagdasarian was a cousin of William Saroyan, Armenian-American author and poet. Great job. ;D
Patrick - February 13, 2013 - Report this comment
Finding appropriate rhymes to replace the nonsense syllables of the chorus was a real work of genius. Very funny.
John Barry - February 13, 2013 - Report this comment
Star Dreck is like a cockroach--ya can't kill it. This parody is a killer.
The Means Of The One Can No Longer Meet The Fans Of The Many - February 13, 2013 - Report this comment
He's (almost) dead, Jim!

Spock and the Pope both calling it quits at the same time? Coincidence? I_think_not! .,. And if Hef hadn't set his phaser on stun, there'd be a trail of dead blonde girls, apparently.

As Patrick noted, writing this was quite an Enterprise!
TJC - February 13, 2013 - Report this comment
'Totally Pointed' and Completely Vulcanized thanks out to:

*Michael* - Ha! The perfect one-word comment!
*Onslaught* - Thank you, sir!
*OMR* - Gracias... and thanks for the interesting Bagdassar'tivia. Now I feel Armenian'd-and-dangerous.
*Patrick* - Appreciate it!
*JAB* - 'Drek' may just be my new middle name!
*TMoftheOCNLMtheFoftheM* - First off, please tell me I can just call you 'Many'!? Thanks! And your astute hypothesis is just 'warped' enough to hold Romulan Ale! Hef, too, may figure into your stunning theorem in that he embarked on the *original* '5 Year Missionary'!
Wendy Christopher - February 14, 2013 - Report this comment
Comedy genius! (I particularly love the way you have his trekkie fans doing the chipmunk parts.) I did used to like Spock, but yeah, William Shatner annoyed the heck out of me with his terrible acting. This ripped it out of the genre with style, and so much clever wordplay. I'm boldly going to give it a 555!

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