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Song Parodies -> "Tank Ace"

Original Song Title:

"Blank Space"

Original Performer:

Taylor Swift

Parody Song Title:

"Tank Ace"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Micheal Wittman is the greatest tanker of all time and died in his Tiger I on August 8, 1944. My tribute to his legendary Villers-Bocage incident of June 13, 1944.
13 of June, a road to Caen
British 7th Armored Division moves on
Tanks, half-tracks, and of course Brens
In sunken lanes, there they stopped
Oh my God- tea and cakes
Looks like they've mad a bad mistake
War's not a game, gonna pay!

(Chorus)
Single Tiger, do or die
British stuck near Hill 213
They're not running, wonder why?
Wittmann's gonna make history
88 rips tail end
Panzer IVs take out leading "Tins"
Up the column the Tiger tends:
25 tanks, 14 half-tracks, and 14 Brens!!!

Brits know of Tiger "terror"
Watch their armor go up in flames
Michael Wittmann in his Tiger
He has done it once again
Got a long list of killed armor
And AT guns to his name
'Cause he was the best SS tank commander
And he loved the fame

Brits were so lazy and reckless
In the road, a bad place to park
It was rather careless
Tiger tore them all apart
Got a long list of killed armor
And AT guns to his name
'Cause he was the best SS tank commander
And he loved the fame

Cromwells slip, then they die
In Villers-Bocage Wittmann swings
No air power in the sky
Four tanks burn, struck by Firefly
Yet it's not enough
The hit takes a track off
Wait, crew escapes that outcome, oh no

Live to fight another day
Have another go...

Screaming, dying, bodies burn
They have got a lot to learn
To kill more--- Wittmann yearns
Another month his score had spiked
Noted for his bravery
Lostt his gunner on sick leave
Then Typhoon rockets incoming!
August 8th, killed in action- end of reign

(Chorus)

Lesson One: never mess with a Tiger
Unless you're brave with a 17 Pdr
Yeah, we know you're under orders
But it's got a 88 and lots of armor

(Chorus)

Final score: 138 tanks and Assault Guns plus 132 AT Guns


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Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 16

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User Comments

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ASCAP - December 29, 2014 - Report this comment
Another glorification of war by Armchair Arndt. Another tribute to a brave and superior Nazi.
Here's an all-American tribute from someone who could write both words and music -- Frank Loesser. Look it up:

Oh, they've got no time for glory in the Infantry.
Oh, they've got no use for praises loudly sung,
But in every soldier's heart in all the Infantry
Shines the name, shines the name of Rodger Young.
Shines the name — Rodger Young,
Fought and died for the men he marched among.
To the everlasting glory of the Infantry
Lives the story of Private Rodger Young.

Caught in ambush lay a company of riflemen —
Just grenades against machine guns in the gloom —
Caught in ambush till this one of twenty riflemen
Volunteered, volunteered to meet his doom.
Volunteered — Rodger Young,
Fought and died for the men he marched among.
In the everlasting annals of the Infantry
Glows the last deed of Private Rodger Young.

It was he who drew the fire of the enemy
That a company of men might live to fight;
And before the deadly fire of the enemy
Stood the man, stood the man we hail tonight.
Stood the man — Rodger Young,
Fought and died for the men he marched among.
Like the everlasting courage of the Infantry
Was the last deed of Private Rodger Young.

On the island of New Georgia in the Solomons,
Stands a simple wooden cross alone to tell
That beneath the silent coral of the Solomons,
Sleeps a man, sleeps a man remembered well.
Sleeps a man — Rodger Young,
Fought and died for the men he marched among.
In the everlasting spirit of the Infantry
Breathes the spirit of Private Rodger Young.

No, they've got no time for glory in the Infantry,
No, they've got no use for praises loudly sung,
But in every soldier's heart in all the Infantry
Shines the name, shines the name of Rodger Young.
Shines the name — Rodger Young,
Fought and died for the men he marched among.
To the everlasting glory of the Infantry
Lives the story of Private Rodger Young.
Approve - December 29, 2014 - Report this comment
Frank Loesser was a German-American, with the accent on "American" so strong that he wrote the words and music to "Guys and Dolls."
Rob Arndt - December 29, 2014 - Report this comment
Irrelevant here as this is about top tanker who also killed other AFVs as well. Known as the most lethal of German tankers. If just tanks, Kurt Knispel in PZrs IV, Tiger I and II killed 168 tanks and killed a T-34 at two miles range!!! US best is Abrahms at paltry 50 German AFVs. Modern is Israeli at 40 Syrian tanks during Yom Kippur War. And as far as infantry goes German Army killed 8:1 while the Waffen SS killed at 12:1. All the Allies had was numerical superiority in manpower and material with the US coming in last both world wars. Heaviest fighting in WW2 was on the Ostfront and the Soviets had better tanks: T-34 (76 and 85 versions), IS 1-2, and KVs. Best Western was Sherman Firefly with 17 Pdr which did NOT kill Wittmann. Evidence suggests Typhoon air attack firing 6" rockets! The Tigers also killed at 8:1. Try to stay on-topic.
Approve - December 29, 2014 - Report this comment
Try to be a human being and honor underdog, ill-equipped heroes who fought the Nazi bastards:
Yefim Anatolyevich Dyskin (b 1923) was a volunteer in the Russian Red Army tank corps. Dyskin resisted a German onslaught on Gorki in 1941, though his comrades were all dead and he was badly wounded. He was made hero of the Soviet Union.
Raymond Zussman (d 1944) was the son of Russian immigrants to the USA. 2nd lieutenant Zusman led a successful US tank attack on the German-held town of Naru La Borge. He fired until he ran out of ammunition and was slain. He killed 19 German soldiers, seized a further 93; and won a posthumous congressional medal of honor.
Avigdor Goldsmid was a British Army major who in 1944 repulsed a fierce German attack on Goteshty, Russia. Three months later he led tanks and infantry to relieve the French town of Hologin. His courage and cunning won him a Military Cross.
Marc Bloch (1886-1944), an esteemed French historian, won the Croix de Guerre for brave service in World War I. In 1939 he was 53 and a father of six children; yet he re-entered the French Army to fight the Nazis. In 1943 he joined the resistance when Nazis occupied all of France. Collaborationist Vichy police captured him in 1944; Gestapo Chief Klaus Barbie tortured him before he was shot by a firing squad.

You, Herr Arndt can take your Nazi, Eichmann-style accountancy system elsewhere.
Fan - December 29, 2014 - Report this comment
God Bless the trolls here. With no skin in the parody competition, they can tell it as it is. You go, Brothers ASCAP and Approve!
Rob Arndt - December 29, 2014 - Report this comment
To detractors, all the facts I've stated can easily be found on most WW2 military sites. The German stats are well known and established. I resent the Eichmann comment as most German soldiers, pilots, and naval personnel were NOT Nazi Party members. What does being a great tanker have to do with genocide? Are US tankers from the Gulf Wars rabid Imperialists who hate Sunnis? And lastly, yes, it is easier to comment than write parodies which btw will not deter me from reaching 2600 this week.
Rob Arndt - December 29, 2014 - Report this comment
You non-historians also forget that Cpl Adolf Hitlr never aspired to become an officer and loved being a dispatch runner through the lines. He was hit twice in battle (shrapnel from artillery and gassed) having won both the Iron Cross Second and First Classes. Goering was also a brave fighter pilot in the LSK. Every battle nation has a right to its own heroes. Hitler, btw, did not frequent French prostitutes. He preferred to spend his free time in the trenches reading books or playing with his dog (which some bastard stole in 1917)
Grateful - December 29, 2014 - Report this comment
How refreshing! Arndt's version of Sprringtime for Hiitler.
Hitler's Dog - December 30, 2014 - Report this comment
Actually, I wasn't stolen. I ran away to join the British K-9. I couldn't take any more of Adolf's French kissing.
Goering - December 30, 2014 - Report this comment
Don't forget that I was a sharp dresser. I always wore a bespoke XXL white uniform and a cyanide pill in my navel.
Rob Arndt - December 30, 2014 - Report this comment
Two more ignorant posts above. A) Hitler's dog was named Fuchsl and was a captured British mascot- a terrier. B) Goering was obese at 280 lbs but lost 60 lbs under arrest and confinement (weened off of codein and morphine as well). His cyanide did not come from his stitched uniform hiding place but from a US guard who smuggled in a pen with a capsule. Btw, don't forget about cigar smoking fatboy Churchill who split his pants twice in WW2 in a car and in a London bunker.
Observer - December 30, 2014 - Report this comment
Hey, maybe if old Winston was 310 pounds, then maybe Christie can be an American President after all!

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