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Song Parodies -> "Rude Toy"

Original Song Title:

"Rude Boy"

Original Performer:

Rihanna

Parody Song Title:

"Rude Toy"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Don't Stop The Pop" self-challenge. Finally back to this after, what, six months? Yeesh. Anyway, I summarise and ramble the ridiculous "horror" film Child's Play. ENjoy!
What a rude toy, toy
He's a livin' doll
Such a rude toy, toy
Got a killer's soul
Is he freaky?
Is he creepy?
I say Chucky
Isn't scary!

He's a rude toy, toy
Don't fuck with the Chuck
Really rude toy, toy
Movies kinda suck
Silly, silly
Cheesy, cheesy
Campy, campy
And not scary!

One night
Charles Lee Ray ran from a cop man
That night
Didn't work, he copped a bullet
That night
Charlie hid inside a toy store
Made it up?
Made it up?
I did not, mate

That night
Charlie started his chanting
That night
The toy store was hit by lightning
That night
Charlie did his voodoo thing, yeah
Gotta move his soul, yeah

Stuck inside a toy
That sucks, sucks, sucks
Really sucks, sucks, sucks
What a gift for Andy
Spells doom, doom, doom
Though he's stuck, stuck, stuck
He doesn't stop, stop, stop
No, nooo-o-o-o-o!

He's a rude toy, toy
Blowin' people up
Such a rude toy, toy
Friend of Andy's mum
Bought it, bought it
So embarrassed
She was killed by
A damned dolly!

What a rude toy, toy
Man, he likes to cuss
Really rude toy, toy
Sayin' things quite suss
"I have a date
With a six-year
Old boy" Doesn't
That sound squicky?

You ask
How can Chucky be a dollman?
Some guy
Taught him 'bout the voodoo, wow
He said
Chucky is becomin' human
Friggin' really?
Sounds silly
Gotta roll with it now

But hold up
This plot's gonna get much weirder
Cause Chuck's
Gotta find a new soul keeper
The first
Person he revealed his real self
To, now Andy needs help, oh well

Needs to find the boy
And swap, swap, swap
Both their souls, souls, souls
Or Chucky is stuck-y
He's screwed, screwed, screwed
Gotta go, go, go
And swap his soul, soul, soul
Now, nooow-ow-ow-ow-ow!

He's a rude toy, toy
Yes, he likes to cuss
Such a rude toy, toy
Right at Andy's mum
Cause she finds out
Chucky's missing
Both his batt'ries
He starts screaming

What a crude toy, toy
Calling her a slut
Such a rude toy, toy
Not making this up
Finds the guy who
Taught him voodoo
Kills him with a
Voodoo dolly!

This film, it tries it's best to scare
It fails, the concept's too out there
Willing disbelief, mine's not suspending
No, nooo-whoa-oo-whoa
I'm not gonna fall for your jump scares
Not scared of a doll with bright red hair
So give it up
Hurry, finish up
Kill this bloody rude toy
So I can watch Scrubs now

Please kill Chuck, now
Hang on, hang on
Wait, was Chucky
Set on fire
And by Andy?

Goodbye rude toy, toy
I won't miss you much
Stupid rude toy, toy
Now it's bye-bye, Chuck!
No more nonsense
From that dolly
Wasn't threat'ning
Much less scary!

No more rude toy, toy
No more dumbass Chuck
Such a rude toy, toy
He ran out of luck
Still ten minutes
In the movie
Surely he won't
Come back, would he?

Would he, would he?
Surely, can't be
Chucky's hist'ry

Andy's running
Down a hallway
And he's tripped by
Undead Chucky!

Undead Chucky?
Oh, for fuck's sake
Just end, movie!

He's in pieces
Brains were blown out
Run the credits
End this nonsense!

The most annoying part about writing parodies that recap movies is when half way through you check your plot summary and realise you've made a grave error in plotting (I nearly said that Chucky blew up the guy that taught him the voodoo...whoops).

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

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 5   1
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User Comments

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Matthias - June 12, 2013 - Report this comment
It does get weirder because he eventually finds a woman in the body of a doll and somehow they have a kid? Is that even possible?!
bobpiecheese - June 12, 2013 - Report this comment
That's just what happens when an unintentionally funny horror movie decides to up the ante in the umpteen sequels. Well, it's either that or the cocaine Hollywood apparently snorts daily. Or both!

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