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Song Parodies -> "Cynical"

Original Song Title:

"Miracle"

Original Performer:

Matisyahu

Parody Song Title:

"Cynical"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Some people can get kinda down at times. This guy is down 24/7...though maybe not for legitimate reasons...
Me-e-e-eh
What's the point, thou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ough?

Guess you could say I'm cynical, don't believe in miracles
Red lights while I'm late? Believable
The silver linin's rustable, don't know my struggle
Ev'ry Coke I buy's low on bubbles
Head or tails? The answer to that puzzle:
That coin's gonna land on its edge, not all
Will fall down the sewer hole
But that's what I'm sayin', nothin's good at all
Lost my phone at the mall
Devastated, might've missed a call
Never havin' a ball
Cause I know that there's no point at all

In ev'rythin', I'm cynical
Wait, am I borin' you? That's not surprisin', dude
I can't find a bright side to this life, cause it's shite
I'm not much of a smilin' guy cause I'm cynical

Cynical, cynical, cynical, cynical
Cynical, cynical, cynical, cynical

Pursuin' goals is all sorts of hollow
When you don't get back games friends borrowed
Can't lie, burnin' pies makes me harrowed
Don't say you're sorry, it's all a lie
Sky's lookin' bright, not somethin' I like
Great for bird dung-bomb runs, right
Don't trust things that look nice because I'm really ti-ired of the lies
Two for one deal? Math ain't right, saved cents only five
On Twitter, I'm appalled
Ev'ryone's obsessed with their sports ball
They know nothin' at all
It distracts from the load speed, it's balls

It all makes me more cynical
Might be depressin' you, more likely borin' you
When I find lamp-post lights out, I'm like "It's a sign
My phone screen, it will blind tonight" I'm that cynical

I put on an air of civility
No-one wants to hear the-e truth, it see-eems
You can't really make coffee instantly
You still need to stir i-it in, you see-ee

It sucks to be this cynical
Want to be tellin' you, your views are pointless, dude
Know I'm right, roadwork signs are a right sack of lies
You hear me and you sigh, cause I'm way too cynical
Won't let me be so cynical
Please ease your cheerin', dude, I don't want it, it's true
Leave me, I can't waste time, must spread my words online
The drive-thru has a mile-long line, makes me cynical

Cynical, cynical, cynical, cynical
Cynical, cynical, cynical, cynical
Cynical, cynical, cynical, cynical (I'm always right, because I've crap hair-ties)
Cynical, cynical, cynical, cynical (break on me ev'ry time, it's shite)
So cynical, cynical, cynical, cynical

Life is pain. Life is only pain. We're all taught to believe in happy fairytale endings. But there's only blackness. Dark, depressing loneliness that eats at your soul.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Mark Scotti - August 02, 2016 - Report this comment
Describes a majority of our country. EVERYBODY need to grow up. Great job(and I'm NOT being cynical...LOL)
Matthias - August 14, 2016 - Report this comment
Really fun Matisyahu song that I never heard before and a fantastic little parody to go along with it. Didn't realize how closely yours related to mine kind of the person I'm talking about in mine except your guy dislikes everything and my guy is scared of everything. They do go hand in hand really well though. I liked the bit about flipping the coin and landing on the edge lol
Abbott Skelding - August 23, 2016 - Report this comment
Funny stuff on this spoof. Spot on title sub and a lot of great lines thrown in there. I'm a naturally positive person, so I have to say this one is pretty great! Great work!
Max Power - August 23, 2016 - Report this comment
It does crawl in my skin.

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