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Song Parodies -> "This Ulcer I've Got Hurts like a MotherF***er"

Original Song Title:

"This Summer's Gonna Hurt like a MotherF***er"

Original Performer:

Maroon 5

Parody Song Title:

"This Ulcer I've Got Hurts like a MotherF***er"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my Pop Danthology 2015 self-challenge. Mouth ulcers. Don't they suck?
This ulcer I've got hurts like a motherfucker
Fucker
This ulcer I've got hurts like a motherfucker
Fucker

One single spot
Hurts like hell when I tou-ouch it
I swear it sprang from nothin'
Would I like salt? No-o
That stuff gets the pain cli-imbin'
I'm not provokin' nothin'
I didn't bite down with my tee-eeth
To cause it, because you see-ee
It's kind of out of their rea-each
I'm stumped here, fra-ankly
I can't avoid touchin' it, see-ee
It's nestled in there really dee-eep
In my gumline makin' me frea-eak
I'm far from da-andy, oh-oh-oh

This ulcer I've got hurts like a motherfucker
Fucker
This ulcer I've got hurts like a motherfucker
Fucker

I want it gone
But each time I try so-omethin'
It seems that it does nothin'
What a ripo-off, oh-oh-oh
Such a ripoff, can't sta-and it
Guess I'll just have to manage
With this pain, relentless and crue-uel
Set off each time my jaw mo-oves
Damn thing won't let me eat my foo-ood
Instead it sta-abs me
Of course, that's not meant lit'rally-y
But it sure feels that way to me-e
So whenever it's time to ea-eat
I get so a-antsy, oh-oh-oh

This ulcer I've got hurts like a motherfucker
Ah-ooh-ooh, fucker, ah-ooh-ooh, pai-ain
This ulcer I've got hurts like a motherfucker
Ah-ooh-ooh, fucker, ah-ooh-ooh, pai-ain
No-ot havin' a ba-all
E-Ev'ry cure's failed ha-ard
The-e worst pain by fa-ar (whoo!), pain
I-I'm so damn apa-alled
Tha-at you're laughin' ha-ard (hoo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Ha-ad your own last Ma-arch, oh-oh

Yeah, this ulcer I've got hu-urts
It really hu-urts
And as soon as it has left me-e
There's another one or three-ee
It's a damn unendin' spree-ee
Don't feel so da-andy
Why must they sta-ab me-e-e, oh-oh-oh?

This ulcer I've got hurts like a motherfucker (hoo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Ah-ooh-ooh, fucker, ah-ooh-ooh (whoo!), pai-ain
This ulcer I've got hurts like a motherfucker (whoa-oh-oh-oh)
Ah-ooh-ooh, fucker, ah-ooh-ooh, pai-ain (oh-oh, no)
This ulcer I've got hurts like a motherfucker
Ah-ooh-ooh, fucker, ah-ooh-ooh, pai-ain (yeah-ee-yeah-eah-oh)
This ulcer I've got hurts like a motherfucker
Ah-ooh-ooh, fucker, ah-ooh-ooh, pai-ain
This ulcer I've got hurts like a motherfucker

This is seriously my second-favourite Maroon 5 song, kinda for it's awesome beat, but mostly for its hilarious bluntness. So obviously it wasn't a hit. Makes about as much sense as not releasing It Was Always You as an actual single (that being my absolute fave Maroon 5 song), instead going with the creepy-as-hell Animals. It's probably more complicated than that, but I'm just being bitter.

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