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Song Parodies -> "Kung-Fu Monk"

Original Song Title:

"Uptown Funk"

Original Performer:

Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars

Parody Song Title:

"Kung-Fu Monk"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "50 Shades of Pop" self-challenge. The final part, in fact (not including the supplemental)! One may know not to taunt Happy Fun Ball, but this dude's friend clearly does not know not to taunt Peaceful Calm Monk.
Doh
Doh doh-doh, doh doh-doh, doh doh
Doh doh-doh, doh doh-doh, doh doh
Doh doh-doh, doh doh-doh, doh doh
Doh doh-doh, doh duh (aaaaaaow!)

Don't diss his robe folds
Cause he'll fly-kick you out cold
May look like a bald jerk
Use those words, he'll have a reason
To break his main
Solemn vow of pacifism
Could swear Carl Douglas was on
With his lightnin' fast kicks, might miss 'em

He's a monk (monk man), uh
May look like a meditatin' man
But he's not (not, man)
Super capable at kickin' your ass
He's a monk (monk man)
I'd compare him to Jackie Chan
He does not (not, man)
Do this for any money
Watch him now

May be a fan of Buddha (whoo)
Rejectin' girls and moolah (whoo)
Will feel like a bazooka (whoo)
When kung-fu monk starts kickin' buttocks
This kung-fu monk will sock it to ya
The kung-fu monk is gonna own ya
Better be nice, if you piss him off
He'll kick you in the crotch (come on)

Doh
Doh doh-doh, doh doh-doh, doh doh (hah!)
Won't be kind to your crotch, uh
Doh
Doh doh-doh, doh doh-doh, doh doh (hah!)
Super-fist to your crotch, uh
Shoryuken your crotch, uh
Won't focus on your cro-otch
But I'll still sit and wa-atch
Hey, hey, hey, oh!

Stop...for a minute
Need some popcorn cause you're a nitwit
Know you will try to check
If he knows how to bend
Your decorum's horrible, so I feel no pity
When you call him Aang a whole lot
Bet what's comin' next won't be pretty, uh

Cause this monk (monk man), uh
Has been trainin' his whole life long, man
Yeah, this monk (monk man)
He just smashed that brick wall with his bare hands
And this monk (this monk), monk man (monk man)
Clearly explained that he's fine to stand
In one spot (just stand)
As long as he's not bothered
By you, clown

But you did, are you stupid (whoo)?
"He's not a threat, I'll prove it" (whoo)
My word, you are deluded (whoo)
That kung-fu monk's gon' give it to ya
That kung-fu monk's not gonna spare ya
That kung-fu monk's gon' prove it to ya
That if some tiny-brain sets him off
He'll kick all of your butt (come on)

Doh
Doh doh-doh, doh doh-doh, doh doh (hah!)
Many kicks in your butt, uh
Doh
Doh doh-doh, doh doh-doh, doh doh (hah!)
Mighty punch to your butt, uh
He might even headbutt, uh
Yes, he'll headbutt your bu-utt
While I sit here and wa-atch
Hey, hey, hey, oh!

Doh
Doh doh-doh, doh doh-doh, doh doh (your fault, you see)
Doh doh-doh, doh doh-doh, doh doh (you provoked him like a numbnut)
Kung-fu monk will punch utter putzes, bud
Kung-fu monk is buff, kung-fu monk is tough, uh
I said kung-fu monk will punch dumb gits, punch their guts, uh
Kung-fu monk's so tough, kung-fu monk's so buff
Come on, man, I told ya
Can't be whingy, I warned ya
He's more beefy than Norris
In real life or in fan forums
Made him mad, so angry
He'll prove that he's real handy
With his forearms, his thighs and his mighty crotch
All his moves, he won't botch (come on)

Doh
Doh doh-doh, doh doh-doh, doh doh (hah!)
I've been told he won't botch, uh
Doh
Doh doh-doh, doh doh-doh, doh doh (hah!)
Beat you up, not one botch, uh
Been usin' the word botch, uh
Do you even know wha-at
That word means? I guess no-ot
Hey, hey, hey, oh!

Kung-fu monk's so tough (woo, come on, hey), kung-fu monk's so buff (told ya)
Kung-fu monk's no bluff (hey), kung-fu monk's so gruff (come on)
Kung-fu monk hates guff (woo, come on, hey), kung-fu monk's hot stuff (warned ya)
Kung-fu monk will punch (hey), kung-fu monk will thrust (come on)
Kung-fu monk, can't touch (woo, come on, hey), kung-fu monk kicks butt (told ya)
Kung-fu monk's no dunce (hey), kung-fu monk will lunge (come on)
Kung-fu monk's so cut (ah-ah-ow), kung-fu monk will thump (warned ya)
Kung-fu monk's enough
Aaaaaaow!

Join me tomorrow when I start the 50 Shades of Pop supplemental, which includes a generic rap song, a generic rap song, a generic country song and a generic rap song! Oh deep unabiding joy.

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Pacing: 3.3
How Funny: 3.3
Overall Rating: 3.3

Total Votes: 7

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