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Song Parodies -> "Things"

Original Song Title:

"Wings"

Original Performer:

Little Mix

Parody Song Title:

"Things"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

When you see the thing that one wishes one could unsee, how does one do the unseeing? This poor bastard has his own method...not that it seems to be working much...
Ah-ooh
What I saw must be struck from my mind (ah-ooh)
Need to think of things not of an awkward type (ah-ooh)
They should keep my brain hoppin' on a flight (ah-ooh)
Need to keep that intact or I'll lose all my files

Think green, green frogs in a mound
A made-of-choc'late town
And seven blue dogs neck deep in the ground, yeah-eah-eah (huh, huh, huh, huh)
Stalks, stalks of corn with bears
They're usin' them as hair, oh yeah-eah-eah
Absurd? That's just the thing, means I'm not thinking
About the - crap, recalled it

I just saw the worst thing in my life
Must think of weird things to make it go goodbye
It's a constant strain on my little mind
But I can't refrain, dude, weird things must stay inside
Distract me from the awfulness I found (found, found)
Imprinted on my brain, it will hurt me
Let me return to listing a line
Of things to save my mind

Hey, hey

I-I-I-I-I'm firin' up thoughts non-mundane
I know that if I think of plum planes
Then I'll forget that icky sticky - oh no
Pork, pork that acts like Nair
And a dancin' pear, oh yeah-eah-eah
Please work, I hate the sting, it's still there itching
Don't want it but there it is

My eyes saw the worst objective sight
So they need weird things as a replacement find
In a constant state forcin' my poor mind
To not think "I hate you", weird things make it feel fine (get it out, get it out, out)
Don't want it to leak out upon the ground (get it out, get it out, out)
Until then, that sight stays, man, it hurts me (get it out, get it out, out)
I need a constant stream in my mind (get it out, get it out, out)
Of things that are more kind

I see ninja nuns, maybe (hey, hey, hey, hey)
Picture snails that run, crazy (hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey)
My bed is up and walkin', a pineapple gang is stalkin', oy
My Yoshi plush is talkin' in a manner really mockin', oy
A blur is what I'll bring to that thought which stings
Won't have to see that awful thing

What I saw must be pushed from my mind (ooh-ooh-ooh-oh-oh)
Conjure weird-ass things, had the whole day to try (the whole damn day to try)
But when close, my brain, I guess, doesn't like
My efforts at play, rude, these things I make won't fly (get it out, get it out, out)
It wants to focus on what brought me down (get it out, get it out, out)
Dumb organ lives on pain though it hurts me (oh-oh-ooh-oh) (get it out, get it out, out)
But givin' up, to me, is a lie (oh-oh-ooh-oh, oh-oh-oh) (get it out, get it out, out)
More things are brought to mind
I'm tryin' way too hard to shut it down (down, down)?
If I just sit and lay it won't hurt me?
I got six days of wrong when I tried
Weird things will get me by

My original plan was gonna be along the lines of "Why is it any object we don't understand always called a "thing"?", but I didn't think that was a premise that could stretch far enough.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

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