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Song Parodies -> "Petty"

Original Song Title:

"Heavy"

Original Performer:

Linkin Park ft. Kiiara

Parody Song Title:

"Petty"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Ever been disappointed by the motive? This hero sure has...
The end of this fight's right now
Cuff you up so you can't blow up the whole damn city
Dust's cleared, I must know this now:
Why the hell'd you go and 'cause all this fright and panic?
A world conqueror, maybe?
A misanthrope to the extreme?
It's revenge? Well, explain, please
What exactly made you this damn peeved?

With all these bombs
This had better not be petty
'Cause what gall
To kill over a small slight, savvy?
Supervillain in town, would be a letdown
If a missed "Hello!" caused your death spree
Hostage plot
All because you're so damn petty

I'd be way more than annoyed
But this wouldn't be the first time that we've all seen
Some bastard want to destroy
The universe 'cause of a cold coffee
It would be nice if you were not that kind of jerk
Although it's kinda weird for me to say
That it would be a big relief if you swore Earth
Would end because you really want to slay

I'm holding on
To the hope that you're not petty
All this loss
Is not worth reasons small and twatty
To burn cities and towns 'cause girls turned you down
Is the worst damn joke, do you get me?
All so wrong
Please confirm you're not so petty

I promise your jail sentence won't get any worse
If you tell me the reason why you came
With just enough C4 to break the universe
Because it's hard to hero drunk, okay?
Debris almost impaled me
Must know if you're worth a popped spleen

Stopped your plot
What's your motive? Don't be petty
Ton of bombs
Gotta say, I won't be happy
If your rampage through town won't bring a big frown
To most big assholes, come on, tell me
Holding on
To the slim hope you're not petty
"The store's out of lemon jelly"?
Goddamnit, you are that petty

That's your emotionally-scarring backstory? That's your great tragedy?! Dude, I was raised by ocelots! I mean, literally! Disowned by my parents and raised by Central American wildcats. A-and you're telling me, you lost a toy train, that's all! That's all you got, really? I had to work as a lawn gnome! I was forced to wear "hand-me-up" girl's clothing! Neither of my parents showed up for my birth!

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