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Song Parodies -> "Styrofoam"

Original Song Title:

"Ass Back Home"

Original Performer:

Gym Class Heroes ft. Neon Hitch

Parody Song Title:

"Styrofoam"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my Pop Danthology 2012 self-challenge. Some deliverers just aren't up to snuff...
Oh, it's all broken, yo

I don't kno-o-o-o-o-ow i-if you know this
But I don't want things bro-o-o-o-o-oke
You nee-eed to pack things properly, these things ain't so-o-o-o-o-o-oft (yeah)
So now they're smashed (pieces so tiny), I'm pissed, you know (this is no joke)
I don't kno-o-o-o-o-ow (don't know) i-if you know this (yeah)
This needed styrofoam

When I ordered this online (uh-huh), ev'ry FAQ you had promised (so)
That the products that you ship come in solid cases, flawless
But what I got was downright shitty in fact (uh-huh)
I'm so pissed off at this bullshit that I'm ignorin' tact (no tact)
Normally I prefer usin' basic decorum
When I write in feedback forms (yeah)
But I can't use this toaster if the casin' is broke
And the wi-ire's mostly stripped off (d-damn)
Ordered in September, but December's when it dropped (uh-huh)
And I do mean that lit'rally, it's a fact that you failed your job
Man, don't you know?

I don't kno-o-o-o-o-ow i-if you know this
But no-one wants things bro-o-o-o-o-oke
Has to-o be some sort of paddin' so they (they don't) don't ro-o-o-o-o-o-ock (yeah, yeah)
Around and smash, bit miffed, you know
I don't kno-o-o-o-o-ow (uh-huh, okay) i-if you know this (and that's)
This needed styrofoam

Please tell me if I'm soundin' crazy but when somethin's labelled as "fragile"
That means it needs somethin' more than air around it in it's cardboard capsule
I don't know why you would need me to tell you that, it's just common sense
Ain't the first time you've done this, it's gettin' really obnoxious
When it rocks, when it rocks, when it rocks, when it rocks
It gets damaged from the thumpin'
Fill the box, fill the box, fill the box, fill the box
With some newspaper or somethin'
Just show some form of thought and use those damn packagin' peanuts
I want to believe that we're still in the same genus

I don't kno-o-o-o-o-ow i-if you know this (yeah)
But things should not be bro-o-o-o-o-oke (alright)
Afte-er they've flown (a really long distance)
Cross half the word (countries I've not heard of)
With sixteen sto-o-o-o-o-o-ops (it's dumb)
Just take a jab at paddin', dopes (ha, ha, just try for once, God)
I don't kno-o-o-o-o-ow i-if you know this (yeah, yeah, yeah)
This needed styrofoam

No-one fails deliv'ry like you, dumbarse
Ev'ry item cracked, takes so long to ship
Useless bastards, true that, hehh
Shouldn't expect too much, really, ow, 'fraid so
When one has real low prices
The shippin' tends to suck, blo-o-ows
Why do I keep returnin'
To your pi-itiful shop (I don't know)?

I don't kno-o-o-o-o-ow i-if you know this (uh-huh, uh-huh)
But I don't want things (okay?) bro-o-o-o-o-oke
Quick wi-ith refunds (get cash-back now, handy), but you won't change your methods (you dopes)
Sto-o-o-o-o-o-op (uh-huh)
With all the empty boxes, dopes
I don't kno-o-o-o-o-ow (should be obvious, ha) i-if (think it through) you know this (and that's)
This needed styrofoam (should know, buddy, ahaha)

Apparently styrofoam is a specific brand and not a generic term. Will that mean I'll go back and capitalise every instance of the word? Nah.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

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