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Song Parodies -> "Chicks Don't Like Magic"

Original Song Title:

"Pumped Up Kicks"

Original Performer:

Foster The People

Parody Song Title:

"Chicks Don't Like Magic"

Parody Written by:

Abbott Skelding

The Lyrics

I've heard a couple versions of this song that has four choruses at the end, and some with three. I went with three...Original Song:
Some guys join a rock band.
Look at girls in the room, in the palm of their hand
Some guys drive a red Corvette
Ladies, they just flock, flock to the “cool kids”
They laugh when I show up with doves.
“Now just keep your card hidden, and just don’t let me see,
you have the seven of clubs!”
But it’s a diamond 2, now I look like a fool.

Turns out, all the chicks don’t like magic tricks
They just poke fun, then they run, no ladies won
All the other kids, no problems with chicks
I think I’m fun, ladies run, they can’t stand my mullet.

I come up to chicks with my magic tricks
But they just run, poking fun, laugh at my tux.
Still go up to chicks, they don’t like my tricks
And they just run, they’re no fun, won’t be my assistant.

“There’s nothing up my sleeves.
Really, this will be great, please don’t run away.”
They start laughing and roll their eyes.
I’m Steve the Magnificent, let’s go out some time
I’m better than some dumb mime
Have no sleight of my hand, yeah, but it’s getting better
I’m better than some clarinet
And I tried buying flowers, but I make girls disappear

Turns out, all the chicks don’t like magic tricks
They think they’re dumb, then they run, but they’re no fun
Don’t know why my tricks won’t get all the chicks
Don’t think they’re fun, but they’re wrong, but they won’t admit it

All the other kids no problem with chicks
They’re six foot one, brains and brawn, get ladies love.
I’d saw them in half, but just as a trick
Man, that’d be fun, ladies swarm to be my assistant


I love magic tricks but it don’t get chicks
I think they’re fun, but they run, they think I’m dumb.
If I want a chick, must stop magic tricks
But they’re my love, they’re not dumb, already committed.

I’ll show all the kids how to love these tricks
They’ll find it fun, and not dumb, “Your card’s a club!”
I’ll do some card tricks and look like a whiz
Girls will have fun, and they’ll run, running towards my comfort.

Made girls disappear but that’s just a trick
I finally won, jocks are stunned, magic’s so fun.
Finally got a chick with my magic tricks
The nerds have won, they’re not dumb, I got my assistant!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   11

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Blaydeman - January 24, 2012 - Report this comment
Aww the plight of the young magician is a hard one! This was really funny Abbott! Awesome job!
Porfle Popnecker - January 24, 2012 - Report this comment
This reminded me of a great documentary I just saw about young magicians called "Make Believe."
Matthias - February 10, 2012 - Report this comment
Not too bad I disagree with the sentiment because Barney Stinson on How I Met Your Mother does magic tricks all the time and his character is a complete ladies man. I loved the line: "they can’t stand my mullet." Very funny!
Glen S - February 13, 2012 - Report this comment
The Mullet line stood out for me too. Fun parody here. Is this based on a true story for you, Abbott?
Peter Andersson - February 26, 2012 - Report this comment
It's all Harry Potter's fault, he's raised the bar for the rest of us.
bobpiecheese - February 28, 2012 - Report this comment
(SOTM) One of the best magic-related songs I've heard since B.o.B's Magic. The ending was pretty sweet. The verses were hard to pace, but that's cause of the effect uses in the OS there, no fault of yours. 555!
Arwen - February 29, 2012 - Report this comment
SOTM...I like magic and I LOVE this parody. Nice work!
Arwen - February 26, 2013 - Report this comment
SOTY...since reading this for the first almost a year ago, I kind of have a weird disfunctional crush on G.O.B. Bluth from Arrested I have to respectfully disagree with the message of your parody. ; )
Jeff Reuben - March 08, 2013 - Report this comment
Clever idea for this song, I enjoyed it. Of course, I'm not a chick!

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