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Song Parodies -> "Faux License"

Original Song Title:

"No Guidance"

Original Performer:

Chris Brown ft. Drake

Parody Song Title:

"Faux License"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Run Away" self-challenge. Fake I.D.'s. Don't use 'em. Not only because they're, you know, illegal and shit, it's so old hat that you're not fooling anyone. Especially this bouncer...
I dunno why these stupid-ass teenagers
Think their age-old scheme's a no-brainer
So sure I'll be fooled, but they'll know
What I think of them 'fore I send 'em home (ayy)

Kids wanna slam back a few cold beers
Sad that's all for their outlaw careers
Not locked up for years, still can't wait four years
Just stop it, twerps, just stop it (ayy)
Just stop it, twerps, just stop (yeah)

Think they're bein' tricky, but this gag is simply timeless
In a way that means it's old and lifeless
I know ev'rythin' to look for, it's a science
Still got lines from their old-ass printer appliance
I know they're under 18, faux license
Is what I hold in my hand, must be compliant
I tell 'em to clear off, their feet are stompin'
Tossin' shit because it's them I will be tossin', yeah
Just stop it, twerps, just stop it (ayy)
Just stop it, twerps, just stop it

Keep insistin' that their damn card is valid
Face and the photo, can't match it
Wrong eye colour, wrong skin tone, wrong hair, I've cracked it
Not you, twerps, just stop it, twerps, just stop it, twerps (oh-oh-oh)
Just stop it, twerps, just stop it, twerps (ooh-ooh-ooh)
'Fraid you'll have to leave this place, leave this place
You won't down one damn shot, okay (oh-oh-oh-oh)?
Gettin' tired of this game, it's lame
You're not clever, just a douche
Just stop it, twerps, just stop it (ayy)
Just stop it, twerps, just stop it (just stop it)

You think I'm so dumb that I'll think that that's you? I'm not that stupid
I already asked you details you're usin'
Can't recall the birthday that's right here written
No excuse for your hairstyle not matchin'
Afraid you must say "bye" now, I'll stand waitin'
'Til you get it's over, testin' my patience, uh
You won't sneak by me, frame's too wide to make it
Not the door, my body frame is

Get the hint and leave this place, leave this place (oh-oh-oh)
This whole town won't play your dumb game (your dumb game) (oh-oh-oh-oh)
Cause we're tired of it, played-out, lame (played-out, lame)
You're not witty, shown your clues
Just stop it, twerps, just stop it (oh-ooh (ayy), ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ah-ah-ah-ooh)
Just stop it, twerps, just stop it (just stop it)
Stop it (won't get plastered)

I dunno why you stupid-ass teenagers (yeah-eah-eah-eah)
Think your age-old scheme's a no-brainer (ooh-ooh)
So sure I'll be fooled, but you'll know
What I think of you 'fore I send you home
Just stop it, twerps, just stop it, oh-oh-oh-oh

Leave this place (dopes)
Easy (easy)
That's what you all thought, sorry, that's what I can't be (woo, woo)
Gotta catch you dumb twerps tryna get tipsy (dopes, geez)
Hang on, in fact this gets iffy (a tad)
Since this little I.D. is proven to be bull, see (dopes, yeah, this gets bad)
Now I gotta ask (I just gotta, I just gotta) which one of you far-from-18 morons
Has been drivin' around (say so, say so)? Whether van or SUV
Sure, you're old enough now (it's so, it's so) to drive, but that's kinda iffy
If you don't have upon you a genuine I.D. (dopes)
Then your upcomin' jail time isn't gonna be so breezy (yeah-ee-yeah)
So just stop tryna beg and convince me (dopes, no, no)
Since you don't have upon you any real I.D., you should see
No option but to (dopes) leave this place, leave this place ('fraid you better)
'Fore I cop call, leave this place, leave this place
You dopes, you dopes
You dopes, you dopes
Dopes

Kinda surprised this song lasted as long as it did. Must've been leftover good will from the monster year Drake had in 2018.

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