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Song Parodies -> "Buttcrack Fellow (Ugly View)"

Original Song Title:

"Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)"

Original Performer:

Cardi B

Parody Song Title:

"Buttcrack Fellow (Ugly View)"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Part of my "How We Do It" self-challenge. Pull your pants up, man!
That's an arse
Awful, mate
Don't want that shit starin' right at me, pull your shorts up, dude

Don't like that shit wavin' right at me, pull your shorts up, dude
Tie your belt another few notches higher cause it's rude
Might see more, half a cheek to both, I don't want that, douche
Just a quick pants adjustment, that's all that I want from you, look (woo!)
Your pants hang down, it's an ugly view (hey-ey)
So please pull up your pants, it's an ugly view (woo!)
You may think you're a sight to see, well, that may be sorta true (uh)
But it's not cause I like that shit, pull your shorts up, dude (uh)

So mean to me to show off your glutes when you turn on me
Awful, please, never asked for that, never will, you see (woo-woo)
You think your butt is an artist's hoped-for nudist-model dream (blah)
Least I think that's why you flash so much that my poor eyes'll bleed (woo)
Honestly, I think your butt could be the worst I've seen (woo-woo-woo-woo)
Ev'ry inch that your jeans drop means more time that my brain'll scream (yeah)
It's uneven, lumpy, gross, think you should know that I see (yeah)
Sev'ral pimples, couple moles, it's a real bad skin-care scene, look (blah)
It was somethin' I could take (woo), forget with a shot of booze
But now your buttock landscape is imprinted in my brain
"Only an inch"? Heard you say that bullshit, mate (no, mate)
Underestimate a lot, way further down, jeans have dropped (yeah)
Look at these pics, I found 'em all on this blog "Morons With Low-Hangin' Shorts" (mmm-mmm-mmm)
I flip between shorts and jeans? Not a lie you've caught in me
Ev'ry single time I see you, your arse is showin' free
Doesn't matter if you're in a suit or boxers, it's still (blah)
A sight that I would unsee if I could without poppin' pills (woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo)

Don't want that shit starin' right at me, pull your shorts up, dude
Get a belt and find the top notch and tie it there, so rude
Seein' all of your butt, it's gross, I don't want that, douche
Half a tick to adjust your pants is all I want from you, look (woo!)
Pants hang right down, it's an ugly view (hey-ey)
Dude, please pull up your pants, it's an ugly view (woo!)
It's not the worst sight one could see, but it's still an awful truth (uh)
That no-one I know likes that shit, pull your shorts up, dude (uh)

You think it's cool to let 'em drop (drop), ain't the nineties on my clock (blah)
Even then, they just displayed (yeah) underwear and not their bot (oh)
How your front half ain't dropped down astounds, no dick, no dick, no dick (no dick)
The only silver linin' since the sight's still shit, so shit, it's shit (brrrrrrrah, woo)
Don't you put all the blame on your phone (yeah), wallet and more shit you stow (woo)
Inside your pockets, the load (ah) pulls down your pants? Don't think so (ah)
I do the same thing and lo (woo), all of my friends are still safe (yeah)
They never feel they should stab to get the sight out of their brain (hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo)
Cause that's what this belt is fo', bro, to keep my butt back in it's place (hooooooooo, blah)
Now you back-pedal and claim (yeah) that the wallet is to blame (yeah)
Because it's lackin' in green (woo) and not because of the weight (blah)
You can't afford proper-sized pants, mate (matey)?
I'm afraid that's quite the load (yeah), we're the same size, you forgot (woo, woo, woo)
And I see the tag displayed and it's the same as mine, just stop (woo, hoo-hoo-hoo-woo!)

You need to quit your excuses please, pull your shorts up, dude
Take my belt and tie it up strong cause otherwise it's rude
To show off your cheeks, cause they're gross, I don't want that, douche
Show a bit of decorum, bud, that's all I want from you, look (woo!)
Your pants hang down, it's an ugly view (hey-ey)
Pull up your friggin' pants, it's an ugly view (woo!)
I've seen things that were more obscene, I won't say that's not the truth (uh)
But the point is that look is shit, pull your shorts up, dude (beggin' you, beggin' you)

For a brief moment this was gonna be about a guy surround by eejits with low-hung drawers, but I soon came to the realisation of how that could come off ("youngins with loose pants" being a common talking point amongst racist shitheels). I also toyed with the idea about making it about Bojack Horseman, but I haven't watched that show.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

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